- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2011
One thing we seem to have a lot of is innacurate information on the Catholic boards. 50 years ago Catholics married Catholics and the first marriage was it. easy peasy.
Whereas today we have Catholic encore brides who had a courthouse ceremony the first time around marrying non-Christian grooms after having 3 kids together already. Canon law is not that complex, but our relationships nowadays can be VERY complex and that’s where worries and confusion come in!
Add in that for some reason Catholic topics tend to attract a lot of non-experts who want to put in their 2 cents – it can be a big confusing mess to brides and others who are just looking for accurate info! Just because you went to Catholic school, or are an ex-Catholic, or once dated a Catholic 10 years ago, does not make you an expert on Catholicism or the Catholic approach to marriage. In fact I’ve noticed that Catholic school grads and ex-Catholics tend to have lot of misconceptions and wrong information unfortunately.
Sometimes the posts come off as downright hateful or anti-Catholic. Surely most posters don’t mean it that way, they’re just being ignorant. I’ve been a Catholic for 27 years (and a practicing Catholic for 10 years) and I’m CONSTANTLY learning new stuff I didn’t know!
Just in the last year, here are some of the bombs I’ve seen on the bee, some of them multiple times:
– You can’t get married in the Catholic Church if you live together (fact: priests ARE NOT allowed to refuse to marry you for this reason. In the Unted States, priests are explictly FORBIDDEN to treat you this way. In fact part of the Pre-Cana program is usually customized to help couples who already live together or have kids together).
– You can’t get married in a Protestant church if you are Catholic (fact: if your fiance is Protestant, with the right permission, you can get married in his Protestant church)
– You can’t take communion if you are divorced (fact: just being divorced has NO EFFECT on being able to take communion).
– it’s possible to “fail” a FOCUS test (fact: there are no wrong answers on the FOCUS test. If your answers reveal your partner is abusing you or you are on totally different pages about money, and so forth your priest will want to talk about this)
and so many others. With all that, I was wondering if it would be helpful if I could get a real, educated expert in theology or canon law to post here, and maybe request to make their post a sticky? Addressing many of the common questions and providing references to the appropriate documents. I haven’t asked yet but there are a few people who I could query and see if they were willing to do this. I would try to make a giant post myself but again I am NOT an expert at all. Do others think this might be a good resource post for bees?