(Closed) Inappropriate dress by stepmother

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@antiques55: The son should definitely be the one to speak to his dad and step-mother.  You, sorry, aren’t in the picture anymore and really have no say over it.

What you suggested sounds perfect and be sure to let the photog know whether or not to take her pictures.  

I can understand her wanted to dress to show off her figure.  To be in her 40’s and be able to wear clothing like that (and be that size) is a feat in itself.  BUT she should wear something more appropriate for the occassion.  A bit longer and modest, definitely.  

There are PLENTY of slinky, sexy outfits that are more covering and appropriate.  (Trust me, I’ve looked, lol)

Post # 4
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@antiques55: totally not your place to have to say something to your ex about it! they should NOT be putting you in this situation… i’m sorry! maybe arrange for your FDIL to go shopping with both of you and her mother, that way there’ll be 3 of you pulling appropriate dresses versus a one on one situation. if she sees that everyone is looking for more modest things, then maybe she’ll get the point… that would be the time for someone (FDIL) to say something about the expected attire. if the stepmom refuses to comply, then you’ve all done your part and she’ll be left looking like a trampy idiot!

Post # 5
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you have it absolutely right.  It probably would not be well-received coming from you, and your son should handle it.  I think the wording you’ve laid out for him to use is perfect.

Post # 6
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Agreed.  You shouldn’t have anything to do with it.  I like elliestan’s idea, though!

Post # 7
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with Ryna, what you’ve suggested is great.  I wouldn’t want to put my mother between myself and my step mother and father…that would just be weird…and could possibly pull up “you’re jus jelous” type comments.  I think your son should address it directly with his dad as you suggestd.

Good idea!

Post # 8
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think that a shopping trip together sounds good.  My mom is not much of a dresser herself so instead of letting her just go and choose her own dress I suggested us going shopping together and make a girls day of it.  I know she wont buy something if I tell her I dont think its appropriate. Same will go for my step mom. She tends to dress down way too much. I know she would show up with cut off shorts andn one of my dads t-shirts on as well so a shopping day with her is in the works also.

Best of luck to her.

Post # 9
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree with @Ryna, unfortunately (or fortunately) you aren’t involved with your ex, therefore you will only come off looking bad.  Let your son do the talking….

Post # 10
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with PP’s – not your place. I feel like that could only stir up more drama, and she might go overboard in retaliation. If he’s uncomfortable with it, he should be the one to address it with his father and the stepmother.

Post # 11
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

that’s ridiculous.  if your son is mature enough to get married, he is mature enough to deal with this on his own. 

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