(Closed) Inappropriate Mother of the Groom Dress?

posted 3 months ago in Guests
  • poll: Do you think this is an appropriate Mother of the Groom dress?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 76
    Member
    3151 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @Goirishgrl:  It would not be remotely inappropriate in many churches to wear a strapless dress. Wear what you feel is proper of course but there is a huge variety among different churches and denominations in the type of clothes people wear. 

    You must be very easily offended if a gentle reminder like this would set you off so badly 🤷‍♀️

    Anyway the whole discussion is moot cause I really don’t think this is even about the bare shoulders the more OP updates. 

    Post # 77
    Member
    3151 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @busybride44:  Who cares if it’s not dance friendly? Who cares if her boobs are spilling out of it? Maybe she doesn’t want to dance, and maybe she likes showing off her boobs. So what? Repeat after me: not my circus, not my monkeys.

    She is a grown adult and can wear whatever she wants. Even if she ends up flashing a tit, that is on her – it has nothing to do with you. You’re really not going to care about this on your wedding day, I promise! 

    Post # 78
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I did not read all the other PPs but just by looking at the pictures I do not think its inappropriate at all. I actually think the dress is really pretty and something I would probably wear to a formal wedding. With that being said, I am not religious and I do think its slightly annoying that people hyper-focus on what females wear. The fact that we are setting expectations about how a woman should dress because of her age is slightly shameful with everything thats going on in the world. Maybe the Mother-In-Law has amazing shoulders and wants to show them off…so what? Being older does not dictate your wardrobe. No mother should be obligated to wear a frumpy ugly dress for their child’s wedding. 

    It is not revealing, its not white, and its an elegant dress for a formal event. I do not see the issue here. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    1334 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    View original reply
    @emilyofnewmoon:  not sure if you are being intentionally obtuse or you really dont get my point, but whatever.  Peace out

    Post # 82
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    View original reply
    @busybride44:  What about the dress do you find inappropriate? Just out of curiousity. 

    Post # 83
    Member
    810 posts
    Busy bee

    You should have seen the dress my sister’s mother in law wore at her wedding. Her boobs really were all out on display! I was like wow. This dress seems very conservative, I think it’s fine. 

    Post # 84
    Member
    291 posts
    Helper bee

    OP, i’m sorry people are attacking you. It’s really not nice. This forum is toxic a lot of the times i am discovering. Everyone on here, for the most part, like to argue and be rude. Some state their case tactfully, while others cross lines. I hope you don’t let this thread make you feel crazy, because you’re not. The bees on here saying “it’s boobs, so what if she flashes people!” Are the same ones on other threads that tell brides her dress is too revealing, or something of the sort. I think by you mentioning her age is what derailed the post and everyone is taking it and running with it vs trying to help you see how it is an ok dress. It’s OK to not want someone intentionally flashing people at your wedding. (Coming from someone with Pussy Riot as their profile photo) i assume intentionally because my mother is that way. And I’m not sure how many people have come to me saying they’re uncomfortable, or that she hit on their husband. I witnessed it all my life so i know they aren’t lying. I’m hoping your Mother-In-Law is not like this, and she really is just pulling your leg. If she’s like my mother, i hate saying this but you’ve got to just brace yourself and know that it reflects on her, not you. If she’s pulling your leg and you didn’t find it funny, just laugh, roll your eyes, whatever. And try to move on from it, and not worry about her too much. You will not be worrying about her the day of because it’ll be such an overwhelming feeling for you about getting married, so hold faith in that. I hope you find peace with the situation, bee xx

    Post # 85
    Member
    1541 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

    View original reply
    @busybride44:  There are 6 pages of this thread and I have yet to see what about this dress you find inappropriate, so yes, it comes off as sour grapes on your part. 

    Post # 86
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @busybride44:  No, no, no….sorry.  You don’t get to come here and criticize the help you’ve been given without seeing or acknowledging your part in it.  SIX pages of input and not one person thinks the dress is inappropriate (forget about your poll – as was pointed out to you, the wording was confusing).  All of these ladies, who by the way are all different ages, backgrounds, and geographically dispersed, can’t really be wrong, can they? 

    I get that they are all just opinions, but you asked for opinions and when they gave them, instead of graciously accepting them and be thankful people took the time to read your post and respond, you come back and give a little more information that you were sure were change our minds.  When it didn’t, and instead some people sought clarification on what exactly you found inappropriate, you come back and try to make your case and argue with people.  The people who were more harsh in their posts were doing so because you don’t appear to be listening to the 6 pages of unanimous opinions.  You don’t have to like other people’s opinions, but please don’t argue with them, especially after YOU ASKED FOR THEM.   Rude?!  Don’t be so quick to point fingers.  

    Post # 87
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2021

    Why is the OP supposed to “graciously accept” the completely needless personal attacks she’s received here? Giving an opinion on the dress is a very simple task. You can just say, “No, I don’t think the dress is inappropriate, and here’s why.” But people here went far beyond that and attacked the OP as a person. They called “vain” and “uptight,” made assumptions about her character and intentions, accused her of purposefully hiding information and then revealing it in order to change opinions… No, there was absolutely nothing “gracious” about many of these comments. 

    I also think the dress is completely appropriate for the MOG. But I didn’t feel the need to make weird assumptions about the OP as a person. 

    OP, I’m sorry you were treated in this way. I think you should just abandon this post and move on. I’m not sure if you’re going to get anymore useful feedback here. 

    Post # 88
    Member
    754 posts
    Busy bee

    It looks totally fine to me. 

    If you change the dress to black and imagine a 60 yo in it posing like a normal person, rather than the sultry glam-poses the model is doing, I think it will actually be quite conservative. Especially since I assume she’ll be wearing some kind of wrap over her shoulders since that’s the church’s rule.

    Strapless gowns aren’t made like cheap tube tops that threaten to pop your boobs out. It will likely have proper bust support and with the right bra it will look no different than if it had a couple of straps holding it up. 

    Post # 89
    Member
    14149 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    View original reply
    @street69:  The bees on here saying “it’s boobs, so what if she flashes people!” Are the same ones on other threads that tell brides her dress is too revealing, or something of the sort.

    That’s not a contradiction. They are two completely different situations. In the first example, you don’t get to control or dictate, even if the dress isn’t to the bride’s personal taste. In the second, brides are coming here asking for advice. Apples and oranges.

    OP I think people are mainly trying to understand why this upsets and stresses you out so much. Are you concerned about future MIL’s reputation and what other people will say, do you think it will be a reflection on you, or are you primarily concerned the dress is too attention grabbing for a woman her age or any age for that matter, to wear to a wedding?  

    Post # 90
    Member
    791 posts
    Busy bee

    I honestly don’t understand why people ask a public forum for opinions if they don’t want to hear opposing views or are easily offended by frank, direct responses.  Seems to be a trend.  I see nothing wrong with the dress for the event described, which seems to be the general consensus.  Even if your 60 year old future Mother-In-Law wasn’t “in great shape” by your standards, it is her prerogative.  Heck, when I am 60 I hope I still have the confidence to rock that dress.  But OP, if it bothers you so much, don’t bother asking the opinions of strangers lest your feeling get hurt when others don’t agree or use terms or references that might offend you.  Tell your future mother in law how you feel, ask her to wear something else and deal with the consequences.  You know her better than anyone here and surely can gauge if she is joking about possible wardrobe malfunctions (which, as presented here, seems to be the case to me).  I doubt it is her plan to intentionally let a boob pop out at her own child’s wedding (yes, it is your partner’s/her child’s wedding too and I image at least some of their family is on the guest list).  But if you think that is the case, the real issue is not the dress but the fact that she might have some emotional issues

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