Include both future sister-in-laws in wedding party?

posted 4 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

I have a similar issue and was wondering the same thing.. it is probably easier in the long run to ask both even if you are not super close to avoid any future problems but I go back and forth as well because my fiancé has 3 sisters and that makes it that many more people added to the bridal party .. close with one but not so much the others 

Post # 3
Member
3446 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I’d say wait to make this decision. You’re wedding is pretty far out and you may develop a closer relationship with the one sister over the next year or so and may genuinely want to include her in the future. 

Post # 4
Member
2757 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Personally I would include both of your FH’s sisters, however I would wait for a little while to ask them and start trying to foster a stronger relationship with both of them (but especially the one you are not close to) now.

For siblings I look at it this way, you might not be super close to them yet but they will hopefully be your close family for the rest of your life, and I’m sure they also want to support their brother on his wedding day as being part of the wedding party. 

Post # 5
Member
8327 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well, given your wedding is the better part of two and a half years away, l wouldn’t make any bridesmaid decisions yet. Things can and do change in that sort of time. Just enjoy private plans for now. 

alemonpav :  

Post # 6
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

alemonpav :  ask both! They’ll be your sisters for the rest of your life 

Post # 7
Member
244 posts
Helper bee

1. It is far too early to be making any wedding party decisions. A lot can happen in two years (hell, a lot can happen in a few months), and it’s often recommended that you wait until around six to nine months out from your wedding to select your bridal party. I’d definitely wait.

2. You really should pick your nearest and dearest friends and family to stand up next to you. Picking extra people solely for the sake of aesthetics/matching sides isn’t a great reason. It sounds like you’re all good with your first three, and there’s a chance you’ll get closer to the second sister over the next two years (or with someone else, too) that you might want to ask. I think it’s important to select people based on how close you feel to them.

Post # 8
Member
1171 posts
Bumble bee

Hold off. You have lots of time. Who knows you might make a new friend who you really enjoy spending time with and may want her in your party. In the intervening time you also may grow closer to the other sister. A lot can happen in 2 1/2 years.

Post # 9
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

alemonpav :  I had both of my SIL’s.  I was closer to one than the other, however the one I wasn’t close to really stepped up and was an amazing Bridesmaid or Best Man.  We are now a lot closer. 

So I think if you have the room in the party – go for it! 

But don’t go asking yet, it’s too soon.  Wait until it’s closer, you never know what relationships might change.  

Post # 10
Member
1464 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

It’s an incredibly gracious gesture of inclusion to invite your future sister in laws to be your bridesmaids. I know so many women who have been very hurt to not be included in the wedding party at their brothers’ weddings. I absolutely 100% think you should ask them to be bridesmaids.

Post # 11
Member
542 posts
Busy bee

While I agree with other Bees who say that you shouldn’t ask your maids yet, I also think it would not be wise to ask one sister and not the other. You run the risk of offending your in-laws and that would start relationships off on the wrong foot. Sometimes in-laws even hold perceived snubs against new family members for a long time. I’ve actually seen that happen even though it seems weird.

Of course, it all depends on your in-laws and how they approach weddings. If your fiancee’s family is easygoing and nontraditional, they might not care if you have one sister and not the other. It also depends on how much you value the importance of establishing good relationships with your in laws. Not everybody is concerned about that and there is nothing wrong with that approach either. 

Post # 13
Member
872 posts
Busy bee

alemonpav :  My brother’s wife asked my sister and me to be her bridesmaids. We didn’t know her very well at all. And you know what? We grew closer very quickly! Something about dress fittings, the bridal shower, and her crazy bachelorette party allowed us to bond. Today, I feel like she’s more of a sister than a sister-in-law. 

Post # 15
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’ve always been under the impression that all siblings are supposed to be in the bridal party. So my brother was a groomsman for my husband and all of my husband’s sisters were bridesmaids. It seems like a lot of brides are getting away from tradition and not asking siblings, but personally, I’m really glad I did follow that tradition. I got a lot closer with my sister-in-laws because of it! So I definitely recommend asking both of your FSILs. However, as others have mentioned, wait a few more months before asking anyone. The bridal party is normally choosen around a year away from the wedding, because sometimes when brides ask earlier, friendships can change and you’ll end up with bridesmaids that have no interest in seeing or speaking to you. 

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