(Closed) Incorporating kids from a previous relationship/marriage?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Please let me know what you decide to do!

I am in the same boat, I have a beautiful daughter and I want to make sure she feels like she is an important part of the new family. I’ve heard of saying a poem or having him give her a piece of jewelry, but I’m just not sold yet. I want it to be more, something important enough that she will remember forever! 🙂

I was also considering making up a photo album of all of her baby pictures to give to his parents for a kind of “I’m sorry you missed it but hopefully this will help you feel caught up” kind of thing?

Post # 4
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have 2 sons from a previous relationship and I’m including them in several ways.  They will be a part of our sand ceremony.  Then, we’re doing a first family dance after our first dance.  They’re too young to include in the vows – I don’t think they’d understand what was going on – otherwise Fiance and my boys would have their own vows about becoming father/sons.

 

Your daughter is probably old enough to include in your ceremony.  FH and your daughter could have special vows about her taking him to be her stepfather etc.  You could also let them have a father/daughter dance of their own, or join in on your father/daughter dance – if you don’t mind sharing the spotlight, that is. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I never thought about them saying vows to eachother! That is awesome. I love the dance idea too…

 

I just got teary eyed, haha! Thank you!

Post # 6
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We are doing a family dance and some sort of vows with her but as a surprise!  She is my Maid/Matron of Honor and will standing behind me, walk me halfway down the aisle and give me away along with my mother.

Whatever you do keep them involved!  A friend got married and her teenage son sat thru the whole ceremony.  They did a watch ceremony with him in the middle BUT I could tell by his face that he did not feel like a part of the whole thing.  He really should of been next to his mom the whole time.  In My Humble Opinion.

 

Post # 7
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Kamazing: my son from a previous relationship will be 5 when we marry. I have no father in my life and my SO has been an amazing part of his life so my son will be walking me down the aisle and he will “give me away”.

Post # 8
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

MM had his 17 year old son as his best man and gave the toast.  “Ive known my dad for, hmmm all of my life and I have never seen him smile as much as he has since he has known R, and now I have I bonus parent,  Do I get the old car” chuckles,,,,,,

Post # 9
Member
9 posts
Newbee

@Kamazing:  I am a wedding planner. Through the years we have done a number of things to include children in the ceremony. The most common is having the new step-parent make a vow to the child and present them with a Family Medallion or another piece of jewelry.

At a wedding last summer, at the appropriate time in the ceremony, the groom dropped to one knee in front of his new 9 year old ste-daugthter and asked her if she would have him as her father. He then presented her with a ring. There wasn’t a dry eye after that.

Post # 10
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Syringa:  not a dry eye reading it here;)

Post # 11
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Syringa:  That is too cute.  I love that idea of giving the step-daughter a ring.

I say ditto to the people who have suggested vows.  My friend married a guy with a son a few years ago.  The boy was five years old at the wedding, I think.  They both said vows to each other, and it was the most adorable thing in the world.  I really do think it was the most touching part of the wedding.

My grandfather remarried when my dad was sixteen.  I think my dad was the best man.

Post # 12
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

FI’s children are 16 & 17.  We are having his daughter be a bridesmaid & his son will be a groomsman.  We thought about doing a sand ceremony with them, but ultimately we decided they are too old for that.  They will be starting their own families soon enough.

Post # 13
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I love the idea of having your Fiance present her with a ring and vows — oh, my gosh, how beautiful that would be!

My daughter, who’s from a previous relationship, will be 5 when we get married, so she’s going to be my flower girl. I’d love to have her stand with me, too, but she’s probably going to end up begging to sit with my mom, haha. Or, halfway through the ceremony, she’ll ask me to pick her up and hold her — I can just see that happening!

I love the idea of Fiance saying vows to her as well, but I’m not sure she’ll be old enough to understand them. And, too, her birth father is still very much a part of her life, and I don’t want him to feel as though he’s being replaced, you know?

Post # 14
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

my sons are gonna be ring bearers and daughter will be flower girl. im sure daughter with dance with fiance during father daughter dance with me.. im gonna probably dance with both boys during the mother/son dance..

Post # 15
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

as we have 4 kids altogether (he has 2 daughters from a prev. marriage (9 and 10) i have a daughter from a prev relationship (7), and we have 1 daughter together (1) ) we will be having the 3 older ones as jr. bridesmaids and our daughter will be flower girl.

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