Post # 1
I’ve been friends with the bride for a while now, and I am pretty good friends with the groom. They live far away but are getting married back in our (mine and the brides) hometown. She asked me to be a groomsman last year and I accepted with great honor. I’m an event planner in the making so I have been eagerly helping with ANYTHING they have asked me to do and so much more. A few weeks ago I received an email from him (that she had clearly helped him put together) saying that an old friend of his that originally was not going to be able to attend the wedding can make it now and that he would like if I could step down as a groomsman so this other person can be in his wedding party. Clearly I wasn’t being asked as its really not up to me, but I have NEVER been so insulted, humiliated, or hurt in my life. The wedding is in a month!!! CHOOSE YOUR WEDDING PARTY BEFORE YOU ASK THEM AND ONCE THEY SAY YES DO NOT ASK ANYONE ELSE! This is so hurtful and so heartbreaking and I will never be able to look at them the same way again. The emails and phone calls are already starting to pour in from all of our friends asking what happened and why I am no longer in the wedding. I am at the point of not even knowing if I am going to attend this wedding as I am clearly not wanted there anyway. Even if I had not put in all the extra help this would still be the worst thing someone can do to a friend. I feel awful. If you really want to hurt someone this is what you do. Otherwise, make sure you know who you want in your wedding before hastily asking someone else to fill in.
Post # 3
So sorry… that is TOTALLY hurtful!! I cant believe that… and if they asked someone after the fact then have 2. If shes a good enough friend to ask you in the first place, If I were you I would explain to them how hurt you are and that you will step down but that it is rude and they shouldnt treat a friend like that… sorry again
Post # 4
I’m sorry that happened to you. That just shows terrible judgment on their part. I would be very hurt, as well. I’m a very forgiving person, but it’d be hard to get over that. It’s a definite relationship-changer. If you don’t want to go to the wedding, don’t feel like you have to.
Post # 5
Hi! So sorry that your friends did that to you. I’m confused why they asked you to step down? Is having “even sides” more important than your support on that day? Wow, I just could never do that to someone. I mean sure I might ask the other guy to be in the wedding too, but not kick someone out. That’s just so inconsiderate! Personally, I would reevaluation my friendship with them – but that’s just me.
Post # 6
I am so sorry this happened to you. If it were me I don’t think I would want to atted the wedding either. All I can say is keep your chin up you did your part as a friend and obviously they are not worth your time. I would be honored to have a friend like you!
Post # 7
I am so sorry that they did that to you. Sometimes people really do get caught up in silly little things in the run up to a wedding and lose sight of what matters most: like friendships. If you don’t feel like going to the wedding, politely decline their invitation. When your friend asks you why just explain how you feel and leave it at that.
Post # 8
@SouthernTulip: I completely agree. Having “lopsided” attendants is much better than alienating a close friend. I just went to a wedding where there were 2x as many bridesmaids as groomsmen. Each groomsman just escorted 2 bridesmaides. They looked like pretty lucky guys!
@SadGroomsman: How does everyone know you’ve been “removed” from the bridal party? Do they have a wedding website they revised? I’d be honest with her. Tell her how hurt you are. That you will step down, so as not to “throw a wrench” into their day, but also feel comfortable telling them you will not come. I’d let them know ahead of time if you aren’t coming though, so they don’t have a “no show” that way you can take a bit of the higher road.
Post # 9
Oh my god! That’s awful! I’m so sorry 🙁 Honestly, if it were me, I wouldn’t go to the wedding. It just shows you the kind of people they are, and how they value your friendship.
It breaks my heart when weddings cause broken friendships because it ends up being because of something so stupid (it happened to use while we were planning, too).
Oh well, I mean, at least you know how they feel about you, right?
Post # 10
That is awful! I probably wouldn’t go to their wedding. I’m sorry you are dealing with this.
Post # 11
That is absolutely horrible! Your friend should be ashamed of how she/and her fi treated you! That is a horrible horrible thing to do to a friend!
If I were you I would be so mad I wouldn’t even want to go to their wedding!
Post # 12
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. What an insensitive thing to do to a FRIEND only weeks before the wedding.
If I were you I wouldn’t go to the wedding either. This would probably end our friendship.
Post # 13
I so sorry that this happened to you. I cannot believe that your “friends” did this to you. The sides don’t even have to be even, especially if causes you to ask someone to step down.
Post # 14
That’s awful! I honestly don’t understand why you should have to step down because they want to add a groomsmen. In our wedding there are 3 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen. It’s just the numbers we ended up with once we picked who we wanted to stand up with us. What they did was totally wrong. In all honesty, I probably wouldn’t attend the wedding; I would just be way too angry!
Post # 15
I am so sorry that this happened to you. That is completely not right. They should’ve just had an extra groomsman if it meant that much to them. Honestly, I don’t think I would go to the wedding either. It sounds like they don’t deserve an awesome friend like you. ::hugs to you::
Post # 16
I dont know if I would be comfortable attending. That was very cruel. You can only do what feels comfortable for you though. It’s a tough decision. Good luck. If you decide not to go and they ask, just be nice but honest.