- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2016
I guess I should start this by saying my Fiance and I are not actively TTC.
But, ever since I was a little girl, the only thing I ever truly dreamed about was being a mom. It sounds cliche, but I honestly feel like it’s my calling.
When I was 17, I was diagnosed with PCOS, and faced the reality that I will probably have trouble/need assistance to conceive when the time came. My period is very irregular, so tracking ovulation is difficult. Anyways, I tried not to dwell on that for long when I was younger.
My Fiance and I are in our mid 20’s now, the majority of our friends, many younger, are having babies. It seems like every day someone is announcing their pregnancy on Facebook, and everytime it breaks a little piece of my heart.
Fiance wants to wait another 5 years or so before TTC, so we will be 30 + by that time. I just feel that by the time he is ready, we’ll have to tack more time onto that since my ability to conceive naturally is probably pretty slim. My mom struggled to conceive, and I was her only successfully pregnancy, my aunt has had no children at all, and there are fertility issues on my father’s side, so this is a real possibility I have to deal with.
I don’t even know what the point of this post is, I just needed to get it out. I’ve been sitting here in tears all night just thinking about how long I’ll have to wait to even see if i CAN conceive while all of our friends are having a baby, or babies. I don’t know how to even express these feelings to him because he just doesn’t understand.
A good friend of ours just announced she’s 10 weeks pregnant, and she just met the guy in August …. I tried to be happy for her but I just found myself feeling overwhelmingly sad. My body wants a baby SO badly, and I don’t know how to shut that off.