Post # 1
Bees, I need some support and advice. I’m having a bit of a breakdown over my dress issues. Fiance and I are eloping to NYC in about a month. It’s all happening so fast and I’m panicking about my dress.
I thought I was being so thrifty when I ordered one from J.Crew for $450. Too bad it didn’t fit. I’m going to have to send that one back because it fits my bust so badly and the way the bodice is constructed there’s no way to alter it adequately. So that’ll be about $80 down the drain in shipping charges alone. Oh the joys of living in Canada.
Then I went to a consignment dress shop and fell in love with a $600 dress. It was slightly out of my price range (expecially considering I’d already wasted $80 on the first dress) but I was so excited that I bought it on the spot. I left it at the shop to be altered, was quoted $100 for alterations, and went back the other day to try it on. It didn’t feel the same at all. It was just sort of okay. Now I’m worried that I only bought the dress because I got overexcited to be “real wedding dress shopping” like a “real bride,” and just threw all that money out the window. I guess I could try consigning it back through the same store, but I would only get half of the sale price back and that’s only if the dress sells.
I started looking on ebay desperately trying to find inexpensive custom dresses. But I couldn’t commit to anything I liked enough to risk losing even more money in case it doesn’t fit or doesn’t look like the picture. I started bawling at Fiance that I’ll never get a chance to look this beautiful ever again and I’ve already screwed it up. I tried to explain to him what it’s like to look for THE dress that will make you look and feel amazing with hardly any time or money in the budget. I don’t know if he understood, but I felt so discouraged it all came spilling out.
Now I found a dress from Whtie House Black Market that I LOVE. It’s $700. I had looked at their website at the very beginning but wrote the dress off immediately because I thought there was no way I’d spend that much. Now I’ve already spent that much, and I’m not excited to wear the consignment dress at all. I asked Fiance what I should do, and he said to do what makes me happy… but I think if I actually told him how much money I’ve already dumped he would freak!
Sorry bees, I just needed to vent my frustration. I hate how there’s such crappy selection in Canada, and how few places sell off the rack. If I lived south of the border I would have ordered armfuls of dresses from J.Crew and WHBM because it would be so easy and inexpensive to send them back. But I don’t, so here I am agonizing over whether I can throw away another $80 in shipping costs if the WHBM dress doesn’t work out. And if it does work out, what will I do with the consigment dress??
Here’s a pic of the dress I’m considering…
I just love it, but if I buy it my conscience will kill me. Sigh…
Post # 3
Personally, I would try to find a way to afford the dress I really wanted. It sucks, but maybe you can find a way to do this? You should feel stunning on your wedding day and you don’t want to regret not getting THE dress (especially if you’re pretty sure you’ve found it). Seeing as you’re eloping, you’re at least saving a lot of the normal wedding costs, right? Just my opinion…
Post # 4
Have you thought about preownedwedding.com or the classifieds for something new? Maybe even buying a sample since your short on time? I’m not sure how to close you are to the states but maybe you could drive down. Good luck!
Post # 5
Get the dress you are excited about! Then sell the first one that you bought!
Post # 6
@jenny8283: Thanks for the suggestions Jenny. I did look for samples, but I’m very petite and many of the stores I looked at had just a few dresses in my size. I know I could have a bigger size altered down, but none of the samples I found were discounted enough to justify another $200-300 in alterations.
I’ve also been looking at preownedwedding.com and oncewed.com. So far nothing that has made me feel the way this WHBM dress does!
I might consider driving down though!
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2010 - Catalina Country Club, Catalina Island, California
Do you have pics of the one you got on consigment? I love the new contender and it should be something you love but maybe you wont have that grand moment like you think you will…just saying. but YES you should at least try on the new one! maybe it is THE ONE.
Post # 8
@pashmina: I do… I don’t even like to look at them because I regret buying that dress so much. But maybe I’m just not thinking straight.
The dress is being altered so that I can wear 4 inch heels with it.
[attachment=1410685,179310] [attachment=1410685,179311] (The dress is bustled in this pic.)
The dress feels so plain now. They had to take out some of the ruching to lengthen the hem, so now it looks even plainer.
Post # 9
I’m usually all for staying within a budget, but it makes me sad to read your comment about not liking to look at the pictures of you in your dress. 🙁 I majorly regretted my dress decision when I got married the first time around and I hated to look at my wedding pictures, so I can tell you that it’s worth the money to get a dress you love and love to look at yourself in. 🙂
You look great in the consignment dress, but if it makes you unhappy to look at it, then you need to find another one! As far as how to go about it, I don’t have any advice there. You can try the WHBM one or keep looking online…but either way, keep looking! You’ll find the right one. 🙂
Post # 10
Only you know how much going over your budget will mean to you and your fiance financially. So I try to avoid making judgement calls on $$$ as really only you can decide if it’s a small stretch or a stretch that is too far.
BUT my only advice would be to make sure you do not spend another cent on a dress unless you can try it on first! It’s so important to see how you look/feel in the flesh before making a decision. I would try not to even become too tempted until you can see that dress (or one like it) on your own frame 🙂
Post # 11
I think both dresses are gorgeous! What is it about the one you love that makes it special to you?
I could totally see flowers and details being added to your current dress to make it look less plain. I did a little alterations with Photoimressions to show you how your dress might be able to altered to make it look more like the dress you love.
If making some alterations isn’t an option, then I truly believe you should have a dress you absolutely love. You only have one chance to get this wedding right, and you don’t want to have any regrets.
Post # 12
i said at least try on the dream dress, but I agree with @Loribeth: that you can add to the dress you already have. The only key difference is between A-line and mermaid. Unless you have your heart set on a mermaid shape, maybe you can talk to your seamstress about adding some fabric flowers? Etsy has a bunch that are reasonably priced.
Post # 13
Adding to the dress you already have could be a great option! If you do decide to sell your dress and get another make sure you try it on first and are 100% sure you love it!
Post # 14
Boy do I know how you feel! I just ordered my third dress, it will be here next week and I’m super excited. My first dress was just not right in anyway. My second I like it on, but pictures look horrible. I’ve spent a total of $1000, so much for bargain shopping. However, my new dress is fully refundable for 90 days!
Post # 15
I would agree with Loribeth… consider adding something! I think the dress is very pretty, and adding either the flowers or even a broach would spice it up very nicely. Look around on etsy, for sure.
Post # 16
Ok here is my suggestion- the consigment dress could rather eaisly be altered to be more like the BHWM dress, having a seamstress pull it in more around your hips and adding some flowers to the bust line and hip- that way your not out for the consigment dress and having to pay for the BHWM dress. As Tim Gunn would say.. Make it work! Best of luck