Indecisive brides: How did you choose your dress?

posted 6 months ago in Dress
Post # 2
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - A historic Art Deco and French Renaissance Theatre

Hi bee. I can understand this dilemma. I have still to find a dress that I’ve had a huge reaction to. Lots of pretty dresses and my top pretty picks of those dresses is where I’m at lol. I found a top runner but I’m still not positive of it as there are a couple alterations that need to be made and those will either make or break the dress. So at this point I’m hopeful this dress will work but still open minded to putting on something and it being “the one”. I would love to see some pictures of what you’ve tried on. I found posting pics and getting other bees opinions very helpful! Your current post is listed under the section to sell items. If you can post it up in the question and answer forum you will probabaly get a lot more responses 🙂 I hope you can find some of this helpful 🙂

Post # 3
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

For me I went to one store and didn’t really like anything. The second store had a lot of pretty dresses and I really liked lace so I new I needed to pick a lacy dress. I probably tried on 30 dresses. Is there anything that stands out do you like a certain shape lace sparkle beading a dramatic train no train something flows, do you want it all do you want it simple do you want something different. Is there a dress in your favs that you comparing everything to are they all similar or different. Do you like different features from your favs but not the whole dress? Not everyone is going to cry so I wouldn’t count that. I would try another store but try to go in with more of a plan and don’t go to to many you don’t want to get confused. I ended up liking 2 similar dresses and I realized I was trying to make one more like the other I also posted pics on here and that help me realized I liked one way better. I have hard time making decisions to. 

Post # 4
135 posts
Blushing bee

Echoing heatdisneybride, I think you can analyze your way to a dress.  Look at the ones you like and figure out what you like about them (pretty features and how they look on you).  Get opinions from friends or the bee if you think it will help.  And if none are perfect keep looking. 

Post # 5
345 posts
Helper bee

Caveat: I’ve not selected a dress at this point since I’m a waiting bee

I’m a behavioral scientist by trade which means I study how people make decisions. DO NOT. I repeat DO NOT let yourself look at more dresses. Go back to your favorites and evaluate them carefully. If you continue to pile on more you’ll fall prey to something called choice paralysis which is literally where your brain can’t decide because it has too many options! (It’s often also called the Tinder Paradox…there’s a section on it in Azziz Ansari’s Modern Romance book if you want more info in a super readable form!) Best of luck!

Post # 6
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I never thought I’d get “the feeling” but it actually happened on one dress, I still couldn’t pull the trigger though because I had to try on some really simple ones, just to make sure! One I put it back on, though, I just kept liking it on me more and more! It just looked right! So, go back and revisit your top one or two. If you try something on that you like, go back to one you thought you liked the best and see how it feels against a second or third choice! 

The other thing that really helped me was pictures. I looked at how each dress photographed since that will be what stands the test of time. There were a couple I liked on me, but hated in photographs! And again, when I put my dress on after them, I just knew that my dress was the one! 

Post # 7
501 posts
Busy bee

graced :  exactly! Going “dress blind”, if you will.

hennelady :  now that you’ve seen some dresses and you have a few favorites, narrow your choices down from there. Or at least try to pick a specific style that you really want and continue in that direction. I second what Graced has said, you can definitely overwhelm yourself when you KEEP looking. If you keep shopping when you’ve already found dresses you like, you may end up changing your mind completely and become even more undecided then when you started! I run into this problem myself, I’m currently struggling with “shoe blindness” at the moment lol…. Good luck Bee!

Post # 8
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

hennelady :  hahaha, I didn’t choose my dress. I just ran out of time and money, lol. 

At the end of the day, I honestly wasn’t “in love” with my dress, but it was lovely and ticked the boxes and it fit our elopement and location. Looking back, I stressed way too much about it and bought too many. I just couldn’t stop window shopping an “real” shopping because I thought there was something “perfect” out there for me. Nope. I think I just wanted an unicorn and I didn’t want the experience to end. 

Sorry, can’t give you too much advice, but just maybe try to be real with yourself when dress shopping.

Best of luck!


Post # 9
2265 posts
Buzzing bee

So, I deliberately went dress shopping alone. I didn’t want anyone else’s preconceived notions of what a wedding dress should look like (or what they had always pictured me wearing) influence me.   I love my stepmom dearly, but her idea of a wedding gown is Princess Diana’s. 

I also tried on a bunch of evening dresses beforehand to get an idea for silhouette.  it was really helpful, the fact that they were not evening dresses removed a lot of the emotional pressure and I also didn’t have to deal with saleswomen pressuring me into “saying yes to the dress.”  It was nice to know before I walked into the bridal store how I felt about different silhouette because I had actually tried many of them my actual size so they fit.

I’d also say… don’t overthink it and once you’ve found your dress… STOP LOOKING!

Post # 10
2813 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I don’t think it’s that important to find “the” dress..especially if you’re not someone who is usually a big fashionista. The important thing is that whatever dress you choose is one that you feel good in… I’d think about the dresses you’ve decided you like, figure out what you like best about each one, and then start knocking off options by considering which ones are most comfortable, which ones will look good in a variety of stances, which ones suit the rest of your theme best, etc. Once you’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3, try them on with a couple friends/family members and get their opinions.

Post # 11
641 posts
Busy bee

I tried on a bunch, but one fitted perfectly and was within budget. 

Post # 12
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

My SIL took a lot of pictures and videos, and took a lot of notes for us to look over after all of the appointments. I’m indecisive and wanted to make the right decision.

Post # 13
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Same. I am also extremely indecisive. I second guess. And third guess. And fourth guess. And on and on and on!

I went to about 8 different shops – some small boutiques, some larger stores- and tried on about 100 dresses. After the first 4 stops, I was able to narrow down the elements that I wanted. For example, I thought I wanted an Enzoani-style lace sheath with a low back but I realized that it didn’t do my body justice. I decided I wanted a trumpet style, some lace, and off-the-shoulder straps. So I started reasearching madly and found specific dresses that fit the bill and went to boutiques that carried those dresses and crossed them off one by one until I finally got tired and just chose my front runner! I wouldn’t call it my “dream dress” or “the one” but I look and feel my best in it. 

My advice is to first find your silhouette – then choose the elements you like and go from there. Definitely take photos and look back at them. Evaluate each dress you’ve tried and eliminate from your faves if you can.

Don’t stop looking until you are comfortable doing so. I didn’t stop sooner (even though the dress I ended up with was one I had tried on during my 4th appointment) because I wanted to make sure I exhausted my options. I wanted to try other designers and be sure I was making the right choice. 

Yeah, you’re gonna get confused. Heck, I’m still second guessing my decision, especially with the 2019 collections coming out. But I can’t do anything at this point so I’m just riding that wave! If you need help, make a post with pics and a poll! The bees would love to help!

Post # 14
5028 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2018

I went shopping, didn’t love anything, so I decided to buy a white bridesmaid dress to save money. I just couldn’t see spending upwards of $1k on a dress I’ll wear for like 2 hours, so a bridesmaid dress meant I got something of good, dependable quality for like $200. I went on the Brideside website and looked around, and settled on something relatively similar to other dresses I’d tried on and been okay with. 

If you have favorites, though, pick one of those! Don’t keep looking. Go through your current favorites and analyze your way into picking one – price? Comfort? Do a WeddingBee poll, if that’ll help! I polled a FB group of only women that I’m a part of, and it helped me pull the trigger on one. 

Post # 15
602 posts
Busy bee

OMG, I had a hard time deciding what I want, I knew what siluette looks good in my body but I just couldnt find the right dress, I second guess everything, then I asked my sister (not much help cos we have to completely different styles) and after  the 7 dress…. I found a dress that I actually feel like a bride its not perfect, and now that i look back with all the money I spend on  the other dresses, I could probably afforded buying my actual dream dream dress. LOL. so lesson learned, Im very happy with what i  have and I COMPLETELY STOPPED LOOKING, and when im tented i just google my dress and look images of others brides wearing it lol. now im doing the same with shoes.. and accesories LOL.  so the saga continue until i get married next spring.  when i look myself in the pics of the other dresses i bought ,  I just dont feel bridal and the one I have its simple but its very me. so when you get that feeling. go for it. Good luck!

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