Indecisive brides: How did you choose your dress?

posted 1 week ago in Dress
Post # 16
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - small boat wedding

Do you have a family member, relative or friend with really strong and honest opinions? Sometimes that negative trait of others could come in handy when you just can’t decide yourself.

Post # 17
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Just to add, I completely agree with amp0803 : definitely find the sillouette that looks the best on you and only try those on from then on. I thought for sure I’d do an A-line but fit and flare looked best on me! Once I had that narrowed down it was easier to pick dresses. I wasn’t overwhelmed by 10000 choices, I narrowed it down to fit and flare, off the shoulder in my budget. And when I bought the dress it was just me and my mom. 

Post # 18
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Time and options were running out! Lol.

Post # 20
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I initially was between 2 very similar dresses. So I picked the second dress got home looking at the pictures and realized I didn’t like the white beading on the top and started second guessing my self. I realized I wanted to change all these things on it to make it look like the first one. When I posted on here everyone was saying to get the first one and that kind of confirmed it and I went back tried them both on and a few other ones and changed my order to the first dress. I think what initially put me off is it was ivory cafe color so it had a coffee brown look but I ordered it in all ivory. They put a panel of material under it to show me what it looked like. But now I keep seeing it in ivory champagne which was not an option and I’m hoping I like the all ivory. Just rember you can do some changes in alterations and you can always ask the shop if it’s something that could be done in alterations they should be able to answer that. But it wasn’t like an oh my god this it and tears moment. Most reality shows are scripted for drama so it’s not going to be like that for everyone. But I think posting pictures can help confirm what you kind of know but also keep in mind pictures just don’t show sparkle as well so your going to know what things look like in real life vs a picture. Bottom line pick one that makes you feel like a bride.  hennelady :  

Post # 21
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I had the same delimma.  I made my decision because I liked my experience better at one shop than the other (even though my favorite dress was at the shop with the lackluster consultant).  Being pressured to buy a dress right this very second was a turn off for me, so I left that shop.  

Then I essentially narrowed it down to two dresses, one that flattered my body the best and the one I felt the happiest in.  The alterations were going to cost nearly as much as the dress for the one I felt happiest in, so I chose the one that flattered my figure the best to save money.  I frequently have dress regret, but we chose to plan our wedding in three months, so I didn’t have time to hem and haw over picking a dress and just remember that.  It’s a beautiful dress and I’m going to play it up with fun accessories that make it feel more me.  

I also posted pictures on here and there was a clear winner for the people here, so that could very well help!  Although, if I did that again I’d hide my face because a lot of people said I looked happier in the dress I didn’t prefer when I was actually making a faces at my mom because she kept telling me to put my arms down and I was uncomfortable having my picture taken lmao.  

Post # 23
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

It’s good that you have identified what you want.  That definitely makes things a lot easier than if you were all over the place on your preferences.  I wouldn’t necessarily say I was indecisive (probably more particular) but I worked on refining my preferences over time as well as focusing on how I felt in the dresses.  I went to 5 stores total and went back to 1 store twice, 1 store 3 times and 1 store about 4 times.  Before I got to my short list of dresses I honestly felt like trying on more helped me narrow my preferences.  When I was casting a broad net there were a lot of dresses that were really pretty and that I liked, but I wasn’t sure it was love.  Personally if there are things you need to change about dresses in order for you to like them I’d keep looking to ensure there isn’t a dress already out there that will meet your needs as it comes.  I know early on I kept thinking I’d like this more if x, y, & z were different and instead I kept looking until I found a dress that met my most important criteria as is.

Beyond that I also focused a lot more on my feelings and personal experience.  Once I really focused on what dress made me feel the best, what dress made me the most excited, which dress best matched my personality, it was obvious which dress was the best.  No I did not cry when I put it on, but I did sense that something was different with this dress than all the others I liked. Because it’s so much money I did still go back after that and tried on the other 2 dresses in my top 3.  #3 fell off the list pretty easily and then I did have some debate between 1 & 2.  I also honestly found repeat appts more helpful than looking at pictures.  I love subtle sparkle too and elements like that and detail work often are not best captured with a smart phone camera in the lighting of a store.  Often how I looked in the pictures didn’t quite match how I felt when I was actually in the dress.

The only thing I will say from my own dress (and someone who loves flow and movement) is that sometimes flow and movement can be at odds with poofy.  There were some pretty dresses that had a fuller look because they were more structured where as the softer, flow-ier dresses tended to be less structured.

For context here were my top 3 (not me in any of them):

#3

4926544bfe6075435d987df426fb7c82

#2

57a74da6-b3b5-48b2-b41d-19bdfd48d5fd

#1

mila_1

Screen Shot 2018-10-10 at 10.47.41 AM

Dress swatch

I still look at pictures of dress number two and there are things I love about it, but everytime I look at #1 I just know it’s my dress.  It made me feel the best of all of the dresses and also felt the most unique.  (I mostly went on my own or with a girlfriend who knows my style but it helps that universally everyone also agreed that this dress was best.)

 

Post # 24
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

I will add, I also think it helped in my case that I did a lot of research before going into stores.  I chose the salons based on having specific designers in mind that I knew would match my vision. I had certain dresses I was interested in, but also kept an open mind.  (My dress was not one of the ones I went in wanting to try because all the pictures online at the time had a shawl but once I saw it in person I loved the dress.). I also remind myself to trust my experience with the dress in person.  Even looking at the pictures of the dress I bought above, I had never seen it in the white/ivory and it looks beautiful but I remind myself that throughout my entire search I gravitated towards off white and how flattering the peach was on my skin and how well the ombre showed the detail.

Post # 26
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

Stuff you want to change I would ask is it easy to raise the waist add a sleeve fill in the back etc when your trying stuff on, does this come in another color what would that color look like. One store I went to was like no on everything I asked but the second was great about what could be changed and what couldn’t pinning sleeves on or add a sparkle belt to the top to show how it would look if you did changes. I wanted some sparkle to my lace dress and they showed me I could get glitter tulle or some material with sequins and put it under the lace layer. I think going somewhere that has in-house seamstress or ones they send you to make a big difference because they will know what can be changed they because they have seen it.  If you didn’t feel comfortable at a store trust your gut I totally get turned off if someone is trying to sell me to. I think showing pictures is good way to pick one that looks like it fits better and bees can give you ideas on stuff you could change add sleeves temove sleeves change neckline butonly so far. But if everyone one pics one dress and your sad they didn’t pick another you will know what you like then.    People do tend to pick what they like but I’ve picked dresses I wouldn’t normally pick because it looks better on a person. Just an idea it really helped me out. 

Post # 27
Member
3883 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I am so indecisive, but I also have a thing about fabric textures and almost every dress felt scratchy to me. So my decision was basically made on the comfort factor. Not that I didn’t agonise about it, before and after, haha!

And honestly, remember it’s just a dress! I know it’s popular to talk about the finding ‘the one’ dress, but for some people that isn’t possible. There are thousands and thousands of gorgeous dresses out there and hundreds that would look pretty on you. You don’t have to be hit by a bombshell. You just have to pick one as best you can and accept that you can’t wear all of them. 

 

Post # 28
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

hennelady :  The one I went with is on the left of the side by side photo.  It’s a soft neutral peach that’s actually less pink than it appears in the photo.

 

I’d definitely say keep looking.  I thought maybe I was being too picky in my first few appointments, but it paid off in the end.  I think the thing that helped me to not be overwhelmed is that based on my thoughts about those initial dresses I was really focused.  Wedding Bee was also great.  I posted about the initial dress that I loved and Bees gave me suggestions of other designers who carried the vibe of the dress I was looking for.  I sought out shops and designers very deliberately and didn’t waste my time going anywhere that I didn’t think would have a dress that beat my initial favorite (dress 2).

Post # 29
Member
28 posts
Newbee

I’m extremely indecisive when it came to my dress. Everything else I decided within 5 minutes, but the dress, I tried on way more than I should, went to every single bridal shop around me and actually settled for (and return) 3 dresses in the process.

And trying on dresses in front of the consultant and other people didn’t help either, I felt like I wasn’t given enough time to think about it (I probably need to silently stare at the mirror for like 20 mins but I ended up having to talk to the consultant and focus more on the conversation and everyone’s reactions rather than how I feel in the dress)

I would say primarily to 

1. Look at your season and venue. If it’s winter, you can pretty much rule out thin, delicate fabrics unless you’re not afraid of the cold at all. If it’s a beach venue, you wouldn’t want a long train, or anything that can trip you up easily, or looks weird on your height proportions if you’re going barefoot.

2. Focus on the comfort. I loved a million dresses, but only a few were actually comfortable enough. I work part-time at a job that requires me to wear heavy-ass costumes, and while I enjoy my job it isn’t easy to be yourself lugging a ton of fabric around. Sure, most people wed only once and would be willing to sacrifice for one day, but you won’t know how many times you’ll unconsciously grimace and feel upset about every little flaw on the day just because you’re not feeling comfortable. I loved beaded illusion sleeves until I found out how scratchy they can be…

3. Think about what you love the most. For me it was being able to twirl in my dress, so I ruled out all the dresses with super long trains (some bustles are super heavy!). If pictures are really important, you may want to pick the one that’s most photogenic on you. If you know you can’t live without marrying in a lace dress, don’t think about the lace-less ones just because it looks good on other people. 

4. Also if you’ve already settled on the accessories, shoes etc, bring them so you can compare across dresses!

Post # 30
Member
28 posts
Newbee

Oh and initially my bridesmaids helped to look over the pictures and pick their favs, but the dress I ended up going with weren’t even in the sets I showed them. At that point I was just like I don’t care if you guys don’t like it, I don’t need validation (I think that’s when I really KNOW it’s the one, when you know opinions can’t sway you!)

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