(Closed) indecisive bridesmaid help

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: should i tell her what to wear?
    yes, she should match the other dresses and fit in with the wedding : (22 votes)
    88 %
    no, she should wear what she wants : (3 votes)
    12 %
    other (please explain below) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    4948 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    She needs to get over it. I’ve been in weddings where I didn’t care for the dress/style, but I wore it without complaining because the bride asked.

    Post # 4
    960 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    She needs to wear the length the other girls have if oyu’re specific on that.


    For mine I had similar issue: MoH and 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man want long, 2 Bridesmaid or Best Man want short. I have allowed them to have whatever dress and length they want as long as its from the same designer and in the same fabric and colour. 

    MoH insisits on being different so I have allowed her to change either the material and be the same designer, or same material/colour but different designer so the colour would be slightly different and make her stand out.

    Post # 5
    495 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Accepting to be in ones wedding is accpeting what one wants. While we [brides] want our BMs to like the dresses its just ridiculous for you to let any of them tell YOU how they want to look on YOUR wedding. 

    I had a very close friend of mine REFUSE to wear anything above the knee or even at the knee for that matter and Im sorry but thats just not what I want on my wedding day. She is not in my wedding and I dont feel bad about it either. Its not fair to make a bride work around what you want. 

    Post # 6
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @mrstaylortobe:  I am having the same situation as you, although the Bridesmaid or Best Man i am having issues with isnt just being diffuclt about the dress and wanting to wear black tights, she is constanly flip flopping back and forth on whether she can make it to the wedding.  I tried changing the style of dresses a few times and she is the only one complaing, so my solution to this was getting my cousin in the wedding as a Bridesmaid or Best Man to fill the spot if needed and now I will have a talk with her and explain I luv her to death but I need to move forward with all the Bridesmaid or Best Man on same page and she can either be in this wedding 100% as a Bridesmaid or Best Man or she can step back, and attended the wedding as my guest.  Im sure the step back is what will happen.  Good luck to you, I know this is a difficult thing to deal with 

    Post # 7
    1448 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My own dropped Bridesmaid or Best Man had some problem that was similar to this.  I don’t have a good/helpful response, unfortunately.

    1) Is it possible for the other two girls to get long versions of what they like?  Can some compromise be made?

    2) It’s pretty gracious for a bride to consider what her bridesmaids would like to wear.  So she should be happy she even gets a say in the matter.

    I spent over a week trying to get input from my bridesmaids on what dress line would suit all of them (I’m picking the dress line, color, and fabric and letting them pick the style).  The reluctant Bridesmaid or Best Man that I had didn’t say anything about anyone’s suggestions, and then when we decided on a dress line she e-mailed me to complain that none of the dresses in that line would work for her and that I should think about my photos because her religious garments would show.  She then said that she wouldn’t be offended if I asked her to step down.  I was so frustrated!  (I’m getting over it now, but it brought up a lot of ‘who the heck kind of person does she think I am?’)

    I think from a “big picture” standpoint is that if she really cared about supporting you and your friendship and marriage with your Fiance, it wouldn’t matter if she was wearing a burlap sack.  I would hope brides don’t ask for that, but that kind of support has to come from the heart.  If it’s not there, it’s not there, and I think you should ask yourself if her attitude (or something like it) is something you want to bring into your wedding as a reflection of your relationship with your Fiance.

    Post # 9
    495 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    @mrstaylortobe:  Oh god, no tights… no tights. What is her issue exactly with her legs? Scars? Cellulite? Pale? Is she a bigger girl and scared of looking fat? There are many ways to deal with all those things instead of wearing tights…… 

    Post # 11
    495 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    @mrstaylortobe:  I dont know one person who likes their knees lol and quite frankly, nobody will be looking at anyones knees. I hope it works out for you!

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