(Closed) Indefinately delaying/ postponing our wedding.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Hmm, my advice would be to have a low budget wedding, or a JOP wedding, and then when you are financially stable you can throw your ‘wedding’ (vow renewal, recommitment ceremony, etc.). Marriage shouldn’t have a pricetag- if you want to be married now, be married now 🙂

Post # 4
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Lubylu89: I would have a small wedding just with family and then later on have something yall would like when you are more stable. 

Is your wedding in 2015?? If it is you have plenty of time to save!! 

Post # 5
Member
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@SnowPeony: Has to be the most sensible information/advice I have ever read on weddingbee. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

We have postponed the wedding in order to buy our house (and fix my teeth lol).

It hurt really bad to cancel the wedding but it gets easier everyday. Just stay away from Say Yes to the Dress and those kind of shows. Mourn for what you are giving up but celebrate the future you will have.

Post # 9
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Honestly, I would postpone the wedding if you can’t even afford to have a place on your own yet.  You want to be independent after you get married and not have to live with your parents after you get married.  Save up some money, maybe find a place to rent if that’s possible after you start making more money, and then consider what you want to do about getting married and buying a home.

Post # 10
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Now is definitely time to evaluate your priorities. First of all, what is more important to you: having your dream wedding? Or having a house and simply getting married. For me, I chose the latter. My husband and I bought a house in October and just had a simple ceremony giving us a bit more time to save up for our dream wedding. It’s up to you though! I just knew I would hate waiting that long to save up for everything.

Best wishes!

Post # 11
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My Fiance and I just finished this exact conversation. We already live together, so it’s not about independence, but it is about money and me wanting a baby. After weeks of crying over this decision, we’ve decided to delay the wedding. But, I told him, this is only if we have an actual date. I’m a deadline person, so I don’t want to leave things open ended. I agree with SoonToBeMrsA, avoid the wedding shows. That’s just painful. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m glad that this isn’t what I was expecting to read about: a breakup. You guys still have one another, and as long as not being married isn’t putting any stress on the relationship, you have basically as much time as you need. Priorities are hard (I know, I’m driving around in a car with the passenger side crushed in right now…) but things have a way of working themselves out eventually. The rest is just timing.

Post # 14
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Word of warning… before buying a house, make sure you have a date set that he will stick to.

A lot of women get caught up into buying a house with the guy and then realizes years later he won’t marry her.  I know you guys are already engaged, but I also know another couple who is infinitely engaged because they live together and have for years in the house they bought.  Guess what?  He won’t agree to a date and she never set one beforehand.  He’s happy being just engaged indefinitely (it’s been 5 years for them now).  If they break up, the house is totally in his name even though she makes payments and helps with bills.  He won’t have to pay alimony or any of that.  Free break.

Guys generally get comfortable and don’t see the point of marrying after all unless you have him committed to a date.  I would definitely suggest getting married first, but since you are not make sure that date is nailed before you get a house.  Look out for your best interests… all I am saying.

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