(Closed) Indian-American marriage — what to call each others' parents?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@36goldfish:  I think you should each adhere to each other’s customs.

In your culture, it’s best if your husband refers to your parents with pet names.

In his culture, it’s most polite to stick to first names.  

I’ve experienced this “culture shock” at a lesser extent, and this is how we’ve managed it.

I’m pretty WASP so my family doesn’t hug or otherwise touch unless it’s a big deal.  Additionally, they would be pretty upset if my Fiance used a more familiar name with them than they’ve already specified.  They’ve told him to call them by their first names, so they will be that until we have kids (then it’s Grampy and Nanna).

His family is less WASP-y so they hug and kiss regularly, which I’ve learned to return (although I admit it was a bit of a shock at first).  They also never told me how to refer to them, so while I have started calling them by their first names, I still feel uncomfortable doing so.  FI has encouraged it, so I’ve defered to him.

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