Post # 1
I’m Indian (as in the subcontinent)-American and my fiance is Caucasian American.
My family is pretty progressive, but most spouses refer to the in-laws parents as “Mummy” or “Papa.” In my fiance’s family, spouses refer to the in-laws by their first names (which in my culture is a bit disrespectful).
Wondering what my fiance should call my parents. Mummy-Papa may be a bit wierd for him as that’s not what his family does, and it may be kind of odd to bestow a title like that on two people you have only known for 2 years. On the other hand, it shows full acceptance of my parents — that he has accepted them as his “parents.” I wish there was something in between using my parents’ first names and “Mummy” and “Papa” but I’m not sure what that is.
And what on earth should I call his parents? “Mom and Dad” doesn’t exactly roll off my tongue but their first names seem to casual. I was raised to respect elders. 🙂 Thanks, Bees.
Post # 3
@36goldfish: I think you should each adhere to each other’s customs.
In your culture, it’s best if your husband refers to your parents with pet names.
In his culture, it’s most polite to stick to first names.
I’ve experienced this “culture shock” at a lesser extent, and this is how we’ve managed it.
I’m pretty WASP so my family doesn’t hug or otherwise touch unless it’s a big deal. Additionally, they would be pretty upset if my Fiance used a more familiar name with them than they’ve already specified. They’ve told him to call them by their first names, so they will be that until we have kids (then it’s Grampy and Nanna).
His family is less WASP-y so they hug and kiss regularly, which I’ve learned to return (although I admit it was a bit of a shock at first). They also never told me how to refer to them, so while I have started calling them by their first names, I still feel uncomfortable doing so. FI has encouraged it, so I’ve defered to him.