(Closed) Indian_post marriage in laws interference

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I say fuck your inlaw family and have your parents attend the hospital. They sound controlling and manipulative and the only way you can combat this is to stand firm in what you want. 

 

i know this is easier said than done because I have witnessed what Indian females go through with the inlaws – they seem to think it’s all about them and what they want. No disrespect to your culture but this approach is not healthy and has ruined many marriages.

 

your husband sounds like he’s a bit of a prat too he needs to grow a pair 

Post # 3
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Are you Indian as well? What country are you living in? I know that culturally it isnt easy to stand up to his parents, and even if he tells you that he is not telling them your conversations, he probably is anyway. 

My only advice would be to at least ask your mother to be there with you. You will be in pain and will be wanting some comfort and I would hope that he will love you enough that during this time of need for you he will let you have anyone there that you want to have. 

By the time the baby is born, you become very focused on the baby. I hope for your sake he will too and that it will all work out OK. I do not think its bad though if your parents (at least your mother) is there. Who will help you when the baby is born? 

Post # 4
Member
4923 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
shvtar :  I’m really sorry bee. I can’t even begin to understand how you are feeling and how hard it must be to navigate life as a female in a family/culture that doesn’t value equality between sexes.

Are you in India or living in another country? I am asking because if you are living in another country you have the  legal right to say whom you wish to have in the room or to visit in hospital. Ask the doctors and nurses to contact your parents to let them know you are delivering your baby. You can also ask them to keep your in-laws  and even husband out of the room. You are the patient. Your husband has no right to speak for you unless you are in no right mind to give  legal consent. I am not sure how this works in India but if you are in the USA, Canada, the UK ,Australia , Europe these are you rights as the patient. If you do live in a country other than India you can enact your rights in regards to your care and the law is on your side .

If you are unhappy in your marriage is it possible to go back to your parents home. Will they support you and stand by you if you decided to leave?

Good luck bee wishing you all the best and I hope you draw some comfort in the fact you will be a mother to a gorgeous baby very soon. All the best with your delivery xx 

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