Post # 1
I didn’t even know this was a thing until started reading wedding blogs. For every wedding I have been in, the bride has given the same gift to each person, and I have never hated it, or felt slighted for it.
I was just wondering if anyone has felt slighted because the bride did not come up with an indvidualized gift, or if this is something brides are worrying themselves over without a good cause?
On the flip side, when a bride gave each girl and indivudal gift, what did she give? Did you like a your gift, or do you think you would have liked what a different bridesmaid got better?
I would really love opinions on the bridesmaid side.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I’ve always received the same gift – jewelry to wear in the wedding and some sort of coordinating clutch matched to the BM color exactly. I wouldn’t say it was “great” but it’s just been the norm so it’s fine. I’ve never used any of it after the wedding. Some weddings I’ve been in I got nothing and we all got nothing, so again…not “great” but I never heard of getting these big thank you gifts before coming to WB, so I never really felt slighted either.
That said, I love giving great personalized gifts and plan on doing that for my girls.
Post # 4
i would be pleased that she thought of me at all
Post # 5
I only have two and they are getting earrings from Tiffany’s. They can wear them in the wedding if they want, but they don’t have to.
Post # 6
@Misswhowedding: Yeah, I had no idea either but I’ve never been a bridesmaid. I got my girls the same stuff but different colors, etc. based on their preferences. Nothing overly specific to each person, though. I told them they were getting gifts and they were flaberghasted!
Post # 7
@Misswhowedding: In all the weddings I’ve been in and all the weddings I know of others being in the bridesmaids all got the same (or variations of the same) gift.
My favorite was the locket my BFF gave me this summer. Every girl got a different locket from the same etsy seller, but the bride chose the etsy seller because I had the locket she got me on my wishlist. So, I guess that was kind of personalized for ME and then the rest of them got something similar.
Post # 8
I was in a wedding in August and got the same gift as everyone else. My favorite part was the bag she put stuff in. Otherwise, it was a card, a hanger with my name, flipflops and a pendant. It was alright. Love the tote.
My girls have so far:
Tote bags, each are getting a friendship diamond candle. I’m buying each a piece of jewelry (that they can wear at the wedding but personalized to them).
They all picked different dresses in the same color. One got fun strapless so I got her a chunky statement necklace. One has a high neckline so I got her a pink cord bracelet with a quote and camera charm (shes a photographer). One I got a cute necklace with a pink locket on it (putting a pic of her dad, my uncle, in it who passed last year). Theyre getting flipflops, a makeup bag with some random stuff in it for day of. That’s it so far!
Post # 9
@Misswhowedding: I’ve not been a bridemaid before and hadn’t heard about this before the bee.
I know many bees would consider my gifts either rude or not actually gifts.
Mine are getting jewellery and a few other items (they can either use on the day or to pamper themselves before or after with). They are pretty much the same but then both girls have similar tastes, both like blue (which is one of our colours) and prob will not see each other again afterwards.
The jewllery was picked with their tastes in mind not mine. I prefer bigger pieces, chandelier earring rather than studs. Bigger earrings would look nice in pictures but would not really be either of my maids.
Post # 10
In the weddings I’ve been in, I’ve always received the same thing as everyone else and for the most part, loved it. I’m giving my bridesmaids (mostly) individualized things but only because I am having an absolutely terrible time finding something that suits all of them. I made them each a tote in their individual favourite colours, and they each get a robe, plus a frame with a handwritten note and an IOU for a wedding photo of us, but then I’m getting them each something else (not even sure yet!) that is individualized to them. Honestly though, it’s making me want to pull my hair out. Christmas and birthdays gifts for these girls are never this hard for me – I don’t get why this is haha.
Post # 11
@Misswhowedding: I guess I will “kind of” be giving individualised gifts…? All my girls get the same “stuff” essentially, but everything varies in colour, flavour, scent, shape and so on, and I’ve tried to choose things for them based on what I know they like.
For example, my Maid of Honour’s favourite colour is green, so most of her things are green. Bridesmaid #2 likes things that smell like incense, so I chose that particular bar of soap for her, Bridesmaid #5 likes red for her lips, so I gave her the red lip gloss, I know Bridesmaid #4 likes drinking Midori, etc.
If you check out my link (http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/let-me-help-you-cross-another-thing-off-your-list-bridesmaids-gifts#axzz2sQ6Qc6Dr), you’ll see their individual packs – Each item I’ve chosen for each bridesmaid was chosen for a reason.
So, “kind of” individualised. I personally am not a fan of completely identical bridesmaid gifts, but that’s just me.
Post # 12
I didnt know it was a thing until the bee either! The weddings Ive been in or attended lately gave a pair of earrings, a pair of earrings & a necklace, & a pair of earrings again. Its the norm here. I happily wore them and never complained or felt slighted. I posted about buying my BMs a bunch of stuff for the wedding day like clutches, flip flops, lip gloss, setting spray, robes, necklace, & earrings, and I got a lot of flack for that. Im not sure where people get that because literally where I’m from, the BMs get a piece of jewelry FOR the wedding and thats all. I wouldnt complain though, thats just me… I agree to be a BM because I love the bride so gifts dont matter to me. Some bees on here are serious about the personalized idea though!!
Post # 13
The last time I was a BM the bride got us gorgeous high-end wallets. The colors were different depending on our personalities, but they were the same wallet. I am following this example and will be giving my girls a gorgeous high-end item. It won’t necessarily be “individual” but it will be something everyone will like.
I’m of the thought that BM gifts should be a very nice GIFT, something special and memorable. On par with what you would give somene for a birthday or Christmas. Not a wedding prop. Or random crap. But a geniune nice gift that everyone would be happy to own. Examples:
* Beautiful necklace (not just a “standard bridesmaid” necklace)
Post # 14
I gave my girls a gift I picked especially for them individually. Why because I have been on the end of some horrible same same gifts and some thoughtless same same gifts. For example I recieved a pair of earrings from one friend and I don’t even have my ears pierced- something she knew. I have also recieved countless gifts of jewellery (I don’t wear any at all, not even a wedding ring) and leather purses (yeah I am a vegetarian that doesn’t use leather products) and scented items even though I am highly allergic to those things (perfumes, body lotions etc). All things these people knew about me.
Post # 15
I gave my girls individual gifts and if they were jealous I didn’t hear any of it. I did give them each an item of jewelry though so they were all kind of “equal.”
Post # 16
@Misswhowedding: As a BM, I received jewelry to wear at the wedding- all BMs got the same earrings and necklace (Except the girl without pierced ears, she just got the necklace. For another wedding I was in, we got bridesmaid tshirts and a mirror compact with our name engraved on it. She also paid for my dress, hair and makeup- I REALLY appreciated that!! I paid for shoes and the matching jewelry all the BMs had. I didn’t feel slighted at all, it was practical and I was a student at the time. I never heard that BM presents should be like bday presents until the bee- I’m not completely convinced its a real thing. I need something from Emily post or miss manners/ someone like that.