(Closed) Indulge me in a petty moment… And should I address this?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
9647 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

maybe briefly mention that you were hoping to wear a short white lace dress 🙂

Post # 4
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d leave it alone. No one will think twice about it, so don’t stress over it.

Post # 5
6349 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would mention it; maybe do it in a light/jokey way like ‘Oh man! I was going to wear a white lace dress!’ and hopefully she’ll get the hint.

Post # 7
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Hmm this is a huge fashion trend right now, I currently have on a short cream lace dress at work so this is obviously not a ‘wedding’ related trend. It’s more of a boho trend.

I would just talk to her and let her know your plans and ask kindly if she would consider a different outfit just for the one night so you aren’t matching. If you have a problem with it then you need to talk to her about it. She’s not a mind reader and cant possibly know what you are planning on wearing. I would be surprised if she is upset. It’s quite a small but understandable thing. 

Post # 8
6349 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t think she’d feel horrible; maybe a bit embarrassed at not thinking, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.

If I was in her shoes, I would want you to say something; and as soon as you mentioned it, I’d apologise for not thinking and pick another outfit.

Post # 9
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would leave it alone, everyone knows your the bride anyway…

Post # 11
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@barbie86:   Agree with this.

This seems slightly clueless on her part, lol.  I’m thinking – who would do that – wear anything white and lacy for any dinner/event for someone else’s wedding? Seems “duh” to me that you just don’t do that. 

Good luck! 

Post # 12
5221 posts
Bee Keeper

I wouldnt mention it and wear what you want. No one will be comparing notes on the two dresses and there are so many variations of white dresses it won’t look planned. 

Post # 13
491 posts
Helper bee

Maybe you could say something about how you know she was planning on wearing a short lace dress and you’ve decided you want to wear something similar. Go about it asking what particular dress she is wearing and as if you want to make sure you aren’t wearing the exact same dress. Make it clear that you don’t mind if she wears a similar dress (it seems like you don’t) but you just don’t want to look like twins. 

That way she knows she can wear what she wants but won’t be suprised if you look similar. 

Post # 14
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you should wear the dress you want to wear, and not worry about it. If it seems like it’s awkward for her and the dresses are really similar, just make a joke of it, like hug her and say, “Look, we’re twins!” or something silly. “White and lacey” covers a lot of ground, so they could be completely different looking.

Post # 15
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you should wear your white lace dress. Maybe just give her a heads up and say I know you said you were wearing x dress, I was planning on wearing one, too – can I see yours to make sure we aren’t wearing the same dress?

Maybe she’ll get that hint and choose something else – from the sounds of it, she seems like she will.

Post # 16
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I see you’re having a Destination Wedding… she was probably just thinking “beachy dressy”, which often is a white dress. And since lace is very “in”, that’s probably just what she found in the stores that was nicer than a sundress but still tropical. I would just say hey, I was actually hoping to wear a white lace dress to the rehearsal would you be okay with trying to wear a different outfit? It’s the one time in your life that you’re allowed to be petty, I really don’t think it’ll be a big deal. She might be embarrassed, but it sounds like you guys have a good open friendship so I’m sure it’ll all be fine.

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