(Closed) Inexperienced with weddings: Is this my (financial) problem or my guests'?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Is this my financial problem or my guests?
    You chose the far venue, you should take care of their transportation. : (16 votes)
    8 %
    You didn't force them to drink! The costs and inconveniences they incur is all on them. : (168 votes)
    84 %
    Just pick a venue closer to home, even if that compromises what you want, because its convenient. : (16 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 47
    2965 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @sekonick:  Well down here security is required if you are serving alcohol.

    Post # 48
    1576 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Sometimes if you can guarantee say 10 hotel rooms, they will provide a free shuttle to your venue. So that may be a way to help make sure the big party animals stay off the road. As the bride, you call up and establish the room block and get a group code. Then tell your guests all the info so they can book.

    Don’t do this though without making sure your family members are into it. If not enough people go for it, you won’t get the free shuttle, and sometimes, depending on the contract, you can get stuck paying for the rooms that aren’t used.

    But it’s a good option to look into. If your family is really set on making this a wild party, I’d think that they would want a hotel room to crash in.

    Post # 49
    2177 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Have you considered getting a block of hotel rooms near your venue for guests that might not want to drive home late, regardless of their BAC?  That way, you are offering an option for everyone and those who might drink too much can plan ahead.  After all, if you had a shuttle back to a parking lot in your town, the guests would STILL need to drive home after getting off the shuttle… they’d still be driving under the influence, just (presumably) a shorter distance.

    I went to a wedding this weekend where the couple reserved a block– the hotel offered a shuttle to and from the venue, free of charge, as long as the couple met their minimum room block.  We live about 40 minutes from the venue, so we decided to pay the $80 for a hotel room so we could enjoy ourselves and not worry about the driving.  It was great!

    Post # 50
    8439 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Well, I have the unpopular vote I’m sure, but I’d say change the venue.  You can say it isn’t your responsibility, but I bet if anything happened to any of my guests I would still feel pretty terrible about it.  We’re having our ceremony, reception and hotel rooms all in one place.  In addition, it’s only about 15 mins max driving for those who aren’t staying at the hotel.  I’m not drinking at my reception, so if someone gets stranded I’ll be able to take them home. 

    Post # 51
    37 posts
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @yellowcrocus – I am totally with you on this one. 

    In the UK everyone is responsible for their own drinking (obviously people keep an eye out for their mates and don’t let them do stupid things).

    my wedding is a long distance venue for most people but even those guests who live an hour away have booked a hotel and will be getting a 2minute taxi ride to it once they have finished drinking at our hotel. 

    The only people that live an hour away that haven’t booked a hotel is because they aren’t drinking as they are working early in the morning so they are just driving home after the party.

    Post # 52
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I think it’s their problem, but maybe you can help people arrange carpool groups so that everyone has a Dear Daughter.

    Post # 53
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @LostInWonderland:  It is not the brides responsibility to monitor the alcohol intake of your guests they know if they have to drive im sure if there is a large group chances are there will be a couple of people not drinkin and wouldn’t mind car pooling,but i think it is solely the responsibility on who is intaking the alcohol not the people providing it, we all must be responsible for our own actions

    Post # 54
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Where we live in Las Vegas there are plenty of places we go IN TOWN that take us 40-50 minutes to get to and we do just fine. Fiance and I decide before we leave the house who is Dear Daughter for the night. Dear Daughter will have 2 drinks max theb switch to soda. Its never been a problem for us BUT neither of us are huge drinkers either. Responsible guests will do the same and its not your responsibility to worry about the irresponsible ones. 

    Post # 55
    107 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @LostInWonderland:  ok i didnt read all the post so hope i havent repeated whats on here ..

    is there not accommodation there? reserve a huge block of reasonably priced rooms & make it that everyone stays there. u will find if people need to drive home they will leave or early or may think how much a cab ride is & rethink coming. it is very irresposible to have a huge open bar knowing full well how long people will have to travel etc so good on u for thinking about this.


    if there is no accommodation right near te venure then i would pay for say 2 shuttles one at say 9pm for the early leavers (depending on ur guests) & then a really late one for the partiers for when the reception closes at 12? if u really want a venue so far away maybe consider having it much earlier in the day so people wont drink as much & can be sober to drive home. if people have to drive home u may find all the extra money for the open bar will be wasted. good luck:)

    Post # 56
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I voted to consider changing the venue. Only you know if this is an option for you or not, but if it is it could cut down a lot of your stress…

    Post # 57
    39 posts
    • Wedding: May 2013

    A shuttle sounds like a nice idea, as do the hotel blocks. Have you considered the option of drink vouchers instead of an open bar? My brother did that for his wedding (our family is made up of big drinkers, too), and that seemed to work out for everyone. It made the cost a little more reasonable for the bride and groom, it encouraged people to drink less because only so much would be free, and they could still use cash to get more/something not offered with the vouchers if they wanted. 


    Post # 58
    4435 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think guests expect to take care of their own transort when they go to a wedding. For my Destination Wedding on Maui, there will only be 10 of us total so we decided to look after limo transport for everyone (esp as some were travelling a full day to be with us). Totally up to you though- if we had more guests, they’d have to arrange their own transport!

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