Post # 1
I see recently in a lot of social media people posting and saying things like how insensitive it is to have a fake pregnancy April fool’s joke because women struggling with infertility will be offended/hurt.
I have a hard time wrapping my head around this one. I am also the type of person who is able to laugh at ANYTHING. I actually think making jokes about things we fear or things that upset us allow us to view them in new light, bring out healthy discussion, and make them less fearful.
I also am not dealing with infertility, so it’s impossible for me to imagine what that would be like.
So I just come here and ask, for your opinions and thoughts and if someone could help me understand better.
Also, I doubt a prank like this would work on my husband (he’s too on to me). However if he wasn’t I could see how this could be a pretty good “gotcha” as we both are CFBC So it would likely cause quite a shock (followed up very soon with “just kidding no worries!” Haha). I guess it’s just hard for me to imagine that a joke between my husband and I could hurt someone else.
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
I think those posts are more geared towards the people who post it on social media for everyone to see, not a private joke between you and your SO.
Basically it’s a reminder of something someone is struggling with but instead of a legitimate reason for them to be seeing it, it’s just a “joke”.
Post # 3
otterbee : I find it really annoying when people do that type of thing on social media, I swear every year I see at least one fake pregnancy announcement or one fake marriage announcement. I just think it’s stupid, I don’t find it funny at all and not because I’m offended by it. Like, cool you get al these comments and nice words and get your friends and family all pumped (or pissed) about it, then JUST KIDDING. I don’t know, I don’t get the fun in that at all.
ETA I also understand why this would offend someone struggling with infertility, so just all around these types of “jokes” are lame in my opinion
Post # 4
futuremrs2020 : I guess it’s a prank type of fun. My husband got me one year he had said a distant relative of his passed and ended up leaving him lots of money, like pay off student loans type money. He got his mother in on it so I was like well shoot- maybe it is real?! Haha. He got me. I was a bit mad at first but find it hilarious after the fact. Need to think of something better to get him!
Post # 5
otterbee : I think when it’s done on a small level, like between a couple people it’s not as bad but it’s the people that go all over social media that I find to be annoying, from what I’ve seen they let it run on for far too long and I’ve seen one couple that posted a huge long apology afterwards because it pissed off so many family members.
Post # 6
Well, you said it yourself, you are CFBC and not dealing with infertility – so of course you don’t get it.
No one with infertility wants to be infertile. In fact, people know that if they work hard at something, they can usually succeed (school, career, getting out of debt). It is psychologically damaging to want something more than anything else in the entire word and willing to do anything, and not get it (even IVF is not guaranteed to work).
So, when people post on Facebook a fake pregnancy announcement to “get their kicks” it does throw salt in the wound of everyone who would GIVE ANYTHING to have the thing that the person is joking about.
Infertility is a medical condition, and it’s not in good taste to joke about any medical condition.
But, if you want to hand your husband an opk and tell him it’s a positive pregnancy test in private to get your kicks, that’s completely different.
Post # 7
i personally dont get the fake pregnancy joke things in general. But I struggled with infertility and I dont have an issue with it though.
people are offended by EVERYTHING these days, no matter what you do its probably gonna piss at least one person off.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2016 - Montego Bay, Jamaica
you’re not dealing with infertility so of course you don’t get it but at least you admit that part. Your Facebook friends are talking about fake “public” announcements and not any joke you might do with your husband in private. If that kind of thing is funny to you and your husband will laugh then go for it.
Post # 9
anev : Yes, this 100%. When you’re dealing with infertility, everything having to do with pregnancy and babies hurts – every single pregnancy announcement, infant commercial, people talking about how easy it was to get pregnant, etc. You constantly wonder if it will ever happen for you and feel that it’s completely unfair that it seems like everyone else can get pregnant so quickly except for you (even after years and sometimes tens of thousands of dollars). Some days are easier than others, some days are incredibly hard and you don’t know what kind of reaction someone dealing with infertility would have.
Like she said, if it’s private between you and your husband, fine, but it’s the public aspect of it that people have a big problem with – and for good reason.
Post # 10
otterbee : It is so not funny, unless you deal with infertility you will not get it. Those types of jokes are NEVER funny. It is very insensitive to joke about that. I like jokes and have a really good sense of humor but this is not funny and never will be
Post # 11
otterbee : I don’t understand why joking about being pregnant could be anymore hurtful than someone actually being pregnant. Personally, I think joking about pregnancy is stupid and lame, but I’m not the fun police. I don’t think people are doing it to say “HA! I can get pregnant and you can’t and I’m making this joke to target you specifically”. I also feel like most people who make these jokes aren’t parents yet, so they may even be dealing with infertility themselves—who would know? I do not understand why it’s viewed as insensitive to joke about something happening to one’s own body, or why it should be harmful to a completely separate autonomous individual.
Honestly, if someone is so sensitive about pregnancy announcements/jokes then perhaps they should stay off of social media for their own mental health.
Post # 12
As pp have said, fine to do a private joke with your husband, but better to avoid taking a joke like that to social media. You know this type of thing could be hurtful to people in your life, so is the handful of weak chuckles you might get over such an unoriginal April Fool’s joke really worth causing pain to someone?
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2016 - Montego Bay, Jamaica
edit: I just noticed you deleted the part from your original post about avoiding movies with actresses in them pretending to be pregnant. (Comment moderated)
Post # 14
otterbee : Imagine the thing you want most in the whole world. Every month you try your hardest to get just that. You did everything perfectly, there is no reason for you not to get what your working for. So you get your hopes up. Then your hopes are crushed. Every single month. Sometimes for years.
Sometimes you even pay 10 to 30 thousand dollars for a chance and it STILL doesn’t work. Think about going to buy a car and giving them 15-30 thousand dollars and then they flip a coin whether you get that car or not. That’s what IVF is like money wise. That doesn’t even include all the medication they put in you that makes you feel pregnant. And constantly messes with your emotions.
Every pregnancy announcement we see hurts. So it is even worse when we see that announcement and then the person is like “HAHAHHA SIKE”
I imagine it’s even worse when someone posts that and the person seeing it has just lost their baby.
Post # 15
happiekrappie : “Honestly, if someone is so sensitive about pregnancy announcements/jokes then perhaps they should stay off of social media for their own mental health.”
Actually, many people who are going through infertility do take a social media hiatus for this very reason. Pregnancy announcements can be difficult to see when you’re struggling to conceive, but it’s hard to begrudge anyone for sharing news that is honest and so exciting.
But a lame April Fool’s joke, one that you know might hurt people? Sure, you have a right to post that if you want, but does it really cost you that much to take the high road here and not use a joke that you know might cause pain to someone you care about? Why not choose a different April fool’s joke? Or better yet, spare the masses your lame sense of humor.