Infertility and April Fools jokes

posted 3 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I think posting a fake pregnancy April fool’s joke is incredibly immature…

Post # 32
2591 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

otterbee :  here’s a little reality, as I know others have already shed onto this subject. Imagine the thing you want the most in the world (in our case, being a mother) being jusssst out of reach. Spending thousands and thousands of dollars each month or cycle, only to have your fricken period show up…..over and over and over. Ripped from your fingertips over and over. Also for those ladies who have lost children due to miscarriages – how it would feel to sit in their seat and have a baby within reach, growing inside them strong and hearing that heartbeat, and then in the blink of an eye losing that chance. Again, having the thing you want most in this world ripped from your fingertips. 

I have had 7 people announce their pregnancies that are due between the end of July and beginning of October. While I am so so happy for them, it makes me so sad for my husband and I that we cannot have a child like they can, that we cannot have a child without using donor sperm and medical procedures because of severe MFI, or that all these people can get pregnant within a couple cycles and here we are going on ohhh I don’t know month 15? With no child. Second IUI as the first one last cycle ended in heartbreak. 

Unless you’ve been through infertility and felt the heartbreak of every month, shut your damn mouth. For those who haven’t gone through the mental and physical pain of infertility, it is a hard concept to wrap your head around if you can get pregnant easily. If you want to joke between you and your friends or you and your husband, go right ahead. You may not know what the friends you’re not as close with are going through behind closed doors that they may not want the whole world to know. Have a fricken heart. 

Post # 33
2031 posts
Buzzing bee

anev :   bywater :   cbn8787 :   you are all correct, I don’t get it because I’ve never tried to become pregnant. I do, however, respect that regardless of my understanding (or lack there of), if someone says something is hurtful to them, then it’s the kind thing to do to avoid partaking in that activity. However, not everyone will agree with that and the internet and social media is harsh and unforgiving, so I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to not joke about it. I apologize if what I said seemed insensitive to the struggles you’ve been through.

Post # 34
226 posts
Helper bee

Infertility is a medical condition, like diabetes or cancer or anything else.  Carrying a pregnancy to term is a privilege whether you chose to try, or remain CFBC.  Infertility is a long, hard, extremely painful process-  physically, mentally, emotionally and financially.  Pregnancy loss is such a guttural, deep pain- and multiple losses can break you. It can put strain on even the most solid marriages.  

Just because YOU aren’t offended by a racist joke doesn’t make it not racist.  Just because YOU aren’t hurt by a horribly insensitive and cruel joke, doesn’t make it horribly insensitive and cruel.

Post # 35
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

happiekrappie :  that’s the point of a thread like this is to educate those people who are blissfully unaware of other people’s struggles and how they shouldn’t make jokes about infertility. The same people wouldn’t make a joke about being diagnosed with cancer, just to come back and say “fooled you!!”.

If you’re basically saying that those people with infertility are overly sensitive to pregnancy announcements and should stay off social media, then we might as well unplug from the internet and tv too, might as well quit our jobs so we don’t have to deal with pregnant co-workers, stop going out shopping or for a walk so we don’t see newborns and strollers, etc? We get it, people reproduce and reproduction is EVERYWHERE. We are just saying it’s cruel to essentially brag about it, as a joke. Even if that was not the intent of the “joke”. 

Post # 36
2031 posts
Buzzing bee

anev :  I wouldn’t say a woman dealing with infertility was “overly” sensitive—I think the sensitivity is to be expected. I suppose at the beginning of the thread when I made my initial comment, I didn’t quite understand what was so hurtful about the jokes (besides the pain of seeing yet another overused, worn-out, childish post on FB), as there is pregnancy everywhere.

After reading everyone’s responses, I kinda understand how it could be hurtful for someone to joke about something you so strongly covet, is presumably “easy” and natural, yet your own body won’t let you have it and there’s nothing you can do to fix it. And how if people know that, then it is cruel of them to still joke about it. 

I’ve read the thread and I see everyone’s POV. Maybe other people’s perspectives will change after seeing the stories, but they also might not because not everyone is open to realizing how their actions and “jokes” can hurt others. But I’m glad that I’ve gained a bit of understanding of everyone’s pain. 

Post # 37
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Montego Bay, Jamaica

[Comment moderated for TOS violation]

Post # 39
1334 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

happiekrappie :  I’m happy to see that after reading the stories from those of us with infertility you have a bit of a better understanding of why fake pregnancy announcements are hurtful. Trust me we don’t want to be overly sensitive about other people’s pregnancies. We just are.

Post # 40
968 posts
Busy bee

We struggled with infertility and I dont think I would be offended. But I do think it’s stupid…

Post # 41
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Even besides having a modicum of compassion for those undergoing fertility struggles (which prior bees have thoroughly covered), it’s just…not that funny of a joke to begin with. Now, telling your coworkers there are brownies in the break room and when they get there it’s just a bunch of the letter E that you cut out of brown construction paper? Now THAT’S a funny joke. 

Post # 42
2307 posts
Buzzing bee

I have never been pregnant and never plan to be, but someone once told me that the April fools joke of being pregnant is hurtful.  Guess what?  I don’t need to understand why.  

Post # 43
9555 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Well, it’s a unimaginative joke so that’s really what offends me. If you’re going to pull a prank or a joke then at least make it good.

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