Infertility and April Fools jokes

posted 5 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 46
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee

otterbee :  I totally get it.  I have learned a lot from being on forums.  

Post # 48
Member
1764 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

otterbee :  I don’t think a private joke between you and your husband would hurt anyone else.  However, I would caution against doing it, because you just don’t know how people will react with something this important.  What if, when actually faced with you being pregnant, your CFBC husband suddenly realizes he is delighted by the news and truly wants a child?  What if he calls his parents and they cry tears of joy?  You hear about women who have chemical pregnancies who are heartbroken to find out they have lost the baby they only knew about for a few hours.  What if this breaks your husband’s or his parents’ heart?  What if it makes him change his mind about CFBC?  What would that do to your relationship?  To me, it would not be worth the risk.

I think public fake pregnancy announcements are in poor taste.  I know people who have done them and it is not cool.  

Funny story…. I had a miscarriage before getting pregnant again. (Not the funny part.)  We decided to wait to tell most people until our 20 week scan, because there were a bunch of problems with the pregnancy.  At the 20 week scan, all looked good.  I was about to call family members when I realized it was April 1.  I figured people wouldn’t believe me so I waited another day and announced April 2 just avoid being accused of faking my very real pregnancy.

Post # 50
Member
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

otterbee :  everything has the potential to offend or insult someone. Everytime those posts come up each year telling people not to make jokes because it might trigger someone I think about the fact that every single step-father appreciation post I see is like a twisting knife to the heart for unappreciated titleless step-mother. I raised/am raising 4 kids that are not mine and never got to have my own because 5 would be another straw on the back of a broken dead camel and my child would not get a proper focused loving excited for parenthood first time mother, and likely wouldn’t even call me mommy because they’d hear the rest calling me by my first name, but no one is going to stop posting those quotes just because they make me feel suicidal so I find it offensive that some people and certain issues get heaps upon tons of sympathy and consideration but others get nothing but criticism and “suck it up” if pointed out. I say make whatever joke you want because the same people that call you insensitive for making a joke that might offend someone will also call you over-sensitive and pathetic if you ask them not to say something that hurts you.

Post # 51
Member
3008 posts
Sugar bee

nykkee :  I’m not certain your comment is a good comparison. You mention appreciation posts regarding stepfathers; those are not pranks/April Fool Jokes. Also, you chose to marry a man with four children and to raise them. Couples experiencing infertility did not choose their situation. There is a difference. Making jokes that might hurt people who, through no choice in the matter, suffer from an inability to have children is cruel and totally unnecessary.

Post # 52
Member
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

claroquesi :  i dont think pregnancy jokes are EVER aimed at infertile people though. If they are then I’m sure whoever is doing it is being malicious and then its not a joke at all

Post # 53
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2021 - British Columbia, Canada

I’m infertile and am more or less resolved with this fact, and don’t really pay much attention to all the crap that gets posted on facebook, as I don’t see how someone posting a genuine announcement creates less envy than a joke.  People get offended by everything nowadays.

Post # 54
Member
7865 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Here’s the thing. If you are clueless and decide to post a pregnancy announcement on FB for April Fool’s, that’s annoying, but I get it…not everyone is aware about infertility. But if you ARE aware that this is a really sensitive issue for so many people — 100% guaranteed including some people in your facebook network — and you STILL choose to post such a tasteless joke, that’s what really makes you an ass. It’s one thing to be oblivious and stick your foot in your mouth; it’s another to do it deliberately because “people get offended by everything” and you’ve decided that you’d rather risk hurting someone you care about than STFU with your dumbass joke.

It really has nothing to do with whether you personally would find this offensive, so I find it puzzling that people keep chiming in with that. There are plenty of things I do not personally find offensive, but that I know other people I care about would be offended by. I try to avoid doing those things because I don’t want to cause pain to people I love.

Post # 56
Member
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Dr_dazzle :  yes 1000000% this explains it better than anything I could say

Post # 57
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee

Oh for goodness sake. Some people will be offended by everything and anything as if it’s their full time job. In my family there are very few things that are too bad to be joked about and in my opinion that’s part of what makes life fun. 

Having said that, a pregnancy joke is pretty lowbrow humour in my opinion. I personally wouldnt find that funny I would just be like meh xo

Post # 58
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2020

I’m offended by pregnancy jokes.  I haven’t been diagnosed with infertility yet. I would like to have a family but I have never had that opportunity.  I had a misplaced IUD that might have perforated my uterus.  The gynecological surgeon said that she didn’t see anything that was damaged but its always in the back of my mind that there might be a possibility that I might not be able to have children.  Just thinking about the possibility of never having a baby brings tears to my eyes.  Yes, when I scroll through my Instagram feed I feel jealous of all my childhood friends who are currently pregnant or who have already had children.  I was talking about this yesterday with my boyfriend.  Yesterday, I was in the checkout lane at the grocery store and I heard someone call my name.  It was a high school classmate.  We exchanged pleasantries and she asked me how I was doing. I said, “Very well. How are you?” And she responded, “Exhausted… with these three…” and pointed towards her children.  That’s where the conversation ended.  I had no words to say, no children to show. I hated it. I hate every time I go to the store and bump into someone from my life and they tell me how they got married and had a baby or two or three.  It’s a very real fear of mine, diagnosis or not, IUD damage or not, that I may never be able to have the family that I have ALWAYS WANTED. I take social media breaks because I have nightmares when I sleep at night after looking at other people’s lives… I need these social media breaks for many reasons including fear of infertility.  I think it’s cruel to put a “joke” like that out in the universe.  If I saw that in my social media feed, I would have to block you… just for my own sanity…

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors