(Closed) Infertility and struggling with my faith

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@heathaah: I’m going to start off by saying that I’m pretty religious. I go to church every Sunday, and I pray to God every night. Sometimes it’s really hard to see that God is doing his will, and it’s even more difficult to watch people who don’t deserve to have children neglect them. I’m a very firm believer that God does everything for a reason.

Though you might be struggling with infertility now, God might have other plans for you. There might be a baby out there somewhere that needs you more than a baby you can have yourself. I know that’s not as comforting, but it’s what I try to tell myself each day. We had only been trying for 8 months, so I can’t begin to tell you that I know how you feel, but I was also starting to get frustrated. Then, when I got pregnant, I was over the moon…until our doctor’s visit this past Monday when they told me that I would likely miscarry in the next 2 weeks. I’ve often sat there and wondered why God was making me deal with this kind of loss and frustration. I know that if this baby isn’t right for us right now, he’ll give me a baby at some point. It might not be naturally or biologically my baby, but he will give me a baby.

I know it’s not easy to just have faith like that, and it’s even more difficult to go through it and have to listen to everyone tell you that God gives babies to good people…but he does. It just might not be in the way that you’re expecting.

Post # 4
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I don’t believe the:  “God gives babies to people that deserve them” logic – AT ALL.

That fuzzy logic, at it’s best.  What do you say to the couple who’s child dies – did they not ‘deserve’ to be parents?   That kind of talk makes me so angry and I’m sorry that people are saying that to you!  Friends and family mean well, but that doesn’t mean that they are right.

There’s nothing we can do that makes God love us more or love us less.  It’s who God is – it’s not about anything WE do. 

A good friend of mine is also struggling with infertility (for 24 months now…) – the thing that keeps her going is embracing the fact that God’s timing is perfect.  It’s often not our timing, but it’s His and it’s His to control.  She also wondered if there was something wrong biologically and not getting pregnant was God’s grace to her in not being sure how she’d handle a child with disabilities.

There are so many unknowns when it comes to why things happen or not happen.  I’d encourage you to not lose faith and continue to pray to Him, releasing it into His hands, and asking for peace as you wait.


Post # 5
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

This is such a great thread.

I am fairly religious, but I am also a scientist, so I am always searching for answers about how and why. Sometimes that clashes with religion. I have to resign to the fact that God is beyond my comprehension.

I’ve had/am having some of the same faith struggles as you. Why would God give me a baby and then have me miscarry? Why is life and nature to seemingly “imperfect” if God made it? The questioning can go on and on.

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe God has a plan for every single thing that happens in our lives on Earth. I believe God has a plan for our souls, but that doesn’t mean our paths there will be easy. There is a lot of suffering in the world, without a good explaination. It’s not about deserving or not deserving.

When I pray, I try not to pray for specific things (like a baby) because I don’t think God works that way. I pray for patience, grace, and guidance to get through whatever is going on in my life or the lives of others. I’ll say a prayer for the same things for you.

Post # 7
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Heathahh- I wish I had answers for you.  I keep you in my thoughts and prayers that your struggle won’t be in vain.

These are a few online resources that might help-


And this is a blog I’ve been following for many years (but note- the blogger, after a 5 years of infertility and immediately after adopting a baby, found out she was pregnant and she’s now expecting again, so there is pregnancy talk) and she talks a lot about her faith and her infertility:


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