Post # 1
Hey bees. We aren’t ready to start TTC. We are still slight fence sitters with both feet on the side of “giving it a shot” but before I am ready for any of that I want to be as well informed as possible about what I would be getting myself into physically.
Before we take the leap to try or even not prevent I feel like I need to know more about the ups and downs of being pregnant. What kind of things might happen? And most importantly the part that freaks me out the most, birth. Ideally I would go natural. But I am scared of tears (mostly like 3rd-4th degree tears) or an episiotomy. That literally makes me want to faint. But I have heard stories of natural birth where people have been able to give birth without serious tearing.
Do you have any tips on how to avoid tearing or a c-section?
Some things I have heard can help prevent serious tearing
-Not giving birth on your back
-laboring as much as possible at home
-Being in good health
-Listening to your body
Obviously if need be a c-section is still an option. I know it’s the preferred method for some women but I just don’t think it’s my preferred birth plan. (Not that we are guaranteed for things to ever go as planned). Both tearing and being cut open freaks me the hell out though.
So what suggestions do you have for classes, blogs, videos, books etc. on the subject? I have heard of one called “Childbirth Without Fear” that people seem to like. As well as “What to Expect when you’re expecting” what else?
Post # 2
I bought the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy from Amazon. It’s very informative about everything you could possibly want to know… Highly suggest.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
I don’t personally have any advice, but I am watching this thread because I’m pregnant and would like to know!
Post # 4
I know that it isn’t what you asked for, but I had a 4th degree tear. I kept in great shape, did massage etc…he just came way too fast.
Anyway, I am now 4 months PP and completely fine. I healed perfectly, and have absolutely no issues with sex or pain. I have been healed for awhile. I just wanted you to know that while it’s obviously not ideal, it’s also not the end of the world if it does happen.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
I’m reading “Hypnobirthing” now, which is all about not fearing birth and trusting your body, so far I really like it. I am 25 weeks pregnant and much like you I am mostly afraid of tearing, I also fear feeling out of control, so I’m worried about possible interventions and want to give birth drug and intervention free. From my research water births actually have a slightly higher rate of tearing, likely because of the position that you’re in, squatting, kneeling or side lying are supposed to be the best positions to reduce tearing. Labouring in the water can be great for pain relief though!
I also recommend watching the Business of Being Born, it’s a lot to do with midwives and home births but gives a lot of info on the history of birth and drugs etc.
Post # 6
Yay! I hope to get more responses. I saw a couple good ted talks that sparked this curiosity. It was interesting that they talked about how intense fear may be the cause of more trauma. How we are the only animals on the planet that doubt our ability to give birth. etc it really got me thinking!
Post # 7
I think it’s just something that freaks me out. I also get lightheaded over loose teeth, or any fingernail/toenail related injuries. Do you mind me asking if you knew at the time or if it was just all sort of a blur of pain? Or were you numb?
ETA: Also thank you for helping to make that a bit less scary! I am glad to know that you are doing well!
Post # 8
Yes! I have seen that! A few years ago I want to watch it again soon with FI!
Post # 9
If you do choose to have children I’d check out hospitals in your area that are okay with doulas to support both your preparation and your delivery.
Everyone’s birth experience is different. Even my own three birth experiences were very different. We must be pre-wired to quickly forget the stress or pain of birth or nobody would have more than one child. And, unlike loose teeth, toe or finger injuries, or other times when we may be cut open, we get a prize at the end. And that distraction seems to make a world of difference.
Post # 10
Right?! That’s what I have been trying to keep in mind as well. Luckily my gyno/doctors office also has midwives and a birth center. That I have heard really good things about. But I also love the idea of a doula as another person there who is sort of an informed advocate for my plan so when I am busy being in pain etc. there is a calm person there to ask questions, make suggestions or give advice.
Post # 11
I’ve recently given birth and didn’t tear, even though little lady decided to come very quickly. I didn’t do massage or have a water birth.
I did do a ‘calm birth’ course (similar to hypnobirthing) so I was very relaxed throughout the whole thing – maybe that helped? I also didn’t give birth on my back.
A bit Too Much Information but I was told by friends to use bio oil or similar not only on my stomach but everywhere that might stretch. I used a natural coconut based oil and applied to boobs, stomach and externally down below after every shower. Plus, on the advise of my midwife I also used Evening Primrose Oil Capsules. I inserted one up close to the cervix from about 37 weeks as it was supposed to help soften the cervix and I strongly feel that this might have helped. No evidence here but I’d do it again in the future!!
Who knows if anything I did helped or if I just got lucky, but wanted to share my experiences!
Post # 12
in addition to all you listed… I heard of adding a dab of olive when u massage the perineum helps even more..
Also having a midwife vs ob (if u r low ris) and having a doula helps a lot from what’ve heard. Also taking hypnobirthing classes to teach yourself to not tense up … because tensing up too much = more pain and increases possibility of tears. I am terrified of 3rd and 4th degree tears more than the pain. So I am planning to do all the prep I can and have a water birth of at least not on the back. And do keegles so I have better control of mt PC muscles to begin with. Also hopefully I can get a doula. For pain relief…. TENS massager, watter, self hypnosis, and as a last resort Nitrous Oxide on standby to take the edge off if I really start loosing it. We will TTC next summer and I already have a list of midwife clinics to call as soon as I find out (there are so overbooked here). Oh andbalso prenatal yoga, a total must for me. To manage my already messed up back…
I’m a nurse… and knowimg everythjng that can go wrong during pregnanvy and delivery and postpartum is really not helping me… I am prone to severe anxiety so what I am trying to focus on is what I can do to make it as easy, healthy and painless for me and baby instead of all the risk and the possibilities of everything going wrong, I am not reading any of it, read enough in nursing school to freak me out for a couple years….
Try focusing on the positives.
Post # 13
I don’t mind in the slightest. I had no drugs, so I was in pain, but I had no idea that I tore at all, let alone that much.
Post # 14
I’d talk to your obs office if you are that squeamish. I know my obgyn has doula training as well as the medical and they highly encourage being as natural as safely possible. I’m high risk so for me finding an obgyn that could provide this for me was key.
Post # 15
I read the testimonials of the doula I’m hiring and she’ll come to your house while your in labor, before hospital. A girl labored for 19 hours at home and 10 at hospital, had she labored 29 hours at hospital she would have been forced to have c section (she had a vbac).
We are also taking a Bradley Method class (12 weeks, 2 hours a week on everything from nutrition to stages of labor and even after birth)