(Closed) Information on childbirth and pregnancy

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
9823 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

The only thing you can really do is go with a midwife or birth center that has lower interventions to avoid a csection.  They usually have lower rates.  Otherwise, as long as you have a good doctor that you trust, there isn’t much you can do to avoid a csection.  It’s important to have a doctor that doesn’t push csections and that you can trust their opinions and judgement.  Most women want to avoid them, but sometimes the birth or positioning doesn’t go that way.  You can do a perineal massage, though that doesn’t guarantee anything for tearing.  Even if things don’t go well for you, they have pelvic floor physical therapists that can work wonders.  No one should have to suffer with lingering complications.

TBH, I had an episiotomy (my OB does NOT normally do them, but recommended one for me when the time came and I trusted her so I trusted her opinion) and since I had an epidural it was no big deal.  I could actually feel my contractions but they weren’t super painful.  My OB made sure I couldn’t feel anything before she did it.  Stitches were a little sore for a week but otherwise no problems.  Episiotomy is equal to a second degree tear, so not the worst.  Even people with epidurals can get by without serious tearing.  2 of my friends had epidurals but didn’t need more than maybe a stitch or two.

To be honest, in the moment the tearing is probably the last thing that will be on your mind.  You just want that baby OUT.  In the end, pregnancy and labor/birth are over VERY quickly. 

Post # 18
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

herrera2016 :  Hire a doula! When in labor try to be on your feet for as long as possible, gravity is your friend. I marched in place through my contractions so when it came time to actually push, I laid down on the bed and pushed for 7-10 minutes with my first and about three minutes with my second.

Post # 19
1341 posts
Bumble bee

OB’s get such a bad wrap on these boards. Not all OB’s a Caesarian happy. If you want one, do your research and trust your gut and them! Mine kept checking on me and saying ‘to give you the biggest chance for a natural birth I recommend…’  I ended up with a natural, no epi, no episiotomy or suction/forceps. 

Trust yourself and your medical professionals and ask questions if you aren’t sure why they are wanting to do something. 

Post # 20
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m also scared of tearing but my mum told me she had 4th degree tearing with me and she said honestly it’s not that big of a deal. She said she didn’t feel it anymore then she was already feeling labour and she healed really quickly. The only important thing is doing the pelvic floor exercises even more if you’ve torn. That made me feel less stressed! She’s 60 now and has no issues from the tearing and never did.

I plan on going to daisy foundation birthing classes and also someone local to me does hypnobirthing and relaxation classes that I will do. I was going to book a doula but when I’m in pain I like being left alone and I think I will hate having someone around me all the time. I will probably kick Darling Husband out until the baby is pretty much out.

I did a lot of reading when ttc and a lot said the most important thing is trusting your body and going with it. If your body says do something then do it! My mum has said the same to me. The only reason she had tearing was because she said I need to push and the midwife said don’t be silly no you don’t. She did and I came out way too fast because no one was helping! 

Post # 21
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Try not to get too hung up on tears and c-sections – there is only so much you can do to influence what happens on birth day!

I studied hypnobirthing and planned a natural water birth. I had complications with the baby, had to have an induction, ended up getting an epidural and delivering on my back in bed. But – only a graze and no stiches! Hooray!


I wish I had spent more time reading up on taking care of the baby instead of focusing so much on the birth – the birth was the easy part 😉

Post # 23
622 posts
Busy bee

kes18 :  I’ll second this. My OB recommended an episiotomy for me because she thought I’d tear into my urethra instead of perineum, and we both decided we didn’t want that to happen. Even with the best preparation, of lot of what happens in labor is out of your control.


OP you’ve been given a lot of good advice, but I just want to say that you shouldn’t let fear of labor (or some aspects of labor) scare you out of having a child. Labor is quick, relatively. The very longest you might be in labor is about 2 days. Most of the time it’s a lot less than that. Learn about your body, trust your body, and find a medical team you trust. If you do those things, really it should be fine.

Post # 24
42 posts
  • Wedding: January 2015

I tore clear through to my rectum with a vacuum delivery, but I was already in so much pain from 20 hours of completely unmedicated labor and two hours of pushing with an hour of laboring down in between to get my posterior baby to flip, that I didn’t even feel the tear. The only reason I knew that my daughter was even out was because I saw her being rushed across the room to the warming table. I was so exhausted and in so much pain from my med-free birth, that I couldn’t even hold my daughter right away. Honestly, the tear was nothing compared to everything else I had been through. My daughter was 22″ long with 15″ head. I’m 5’4″ and 115 llbs. My natural birth was nothing like the videos I saw in hypnobirthing class. 

Post # 25
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

herrera2016 :  I’m reading a book called Birth Skills. The author is in Australia and some of the references she makes makes it obvious she’s not talking about birth in the U.S., but then again, a lot of bees aren’t from the U.S. either! Her methods are about distracting yourself to lessen the pain, but there is a lot more to it and it just made sense to me.

Post # 26
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

herrera2016 :  Birth Without Fear is an extremely supportive and empowering group of women. I follow them on Facebook, I didn’t know January wrote a book. 

A million things can happen during pregnancy. You may feel great, carry on as usual and love pregnancy. You could feel naseauous and tired the entire 10 months (yes, it’s 10 not 9) and hate it.

My best advice to you is to get educated on your body and childbirth, but realize that anything good or bad can happen at any time. Have a plan, but be flexible. Even if you want to avoid a c-section as most women do, educate yourself just so that if something unexpected happens you know the process.

I have two half sisters with 6 kids between them and my mom gave birth twice. None of them had any issues and had great pregnancies. So when I got pregnant I planned a drug-free water birth and thought it would be great.

Well, it’s just my luck that my body hates pregnancy. I had horrible morning sickness and ended up having two serious complications despite being young and in good health. I ended up needing to be induced and ended up with an emergency c-secation.

I’m now pregnant again, healthier than last time and this time I got “lucky” with a new complication and I’m waiting to see if the other two from last time will come back.

With all that, I absolutely love my children and they are worth it. I’ve accepted that my body and pregnancy disagree and I try to make the best decisions with the few things I do have control over.

At the end of the day it’s about having a healthy baby no matter how they get here. 

In regards to resources a lot of my friends like the Bradley Method, though I have no personall experience with it. There are a million books on pregnancy and you can’t really go wrong.

Post # 27
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Just wanted to add prior to my first pregnancy having a c-section and the possibility of dying during labor were literally my biggest fears. It was my first time ever being in the hospital. And here I am totally fine and even though it wasn’t ideal, I do feel like a badass for getting over my biggest fear. Prior to delivery I used to cry myself to sleep thinking about childbirth.


Post # 28
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I had a 4th degree tear. I tore to the front, to the back and up both interior walls. I suffered a prolaps which meant that part of my vag was hanging out. My perennial muscles were not seen back correctly either so my vaginal entrance was left hanging open to the point that a hand could fit in it. Recovery post birth was difficult but not unmanageable. 

I did need surgery 8 wks post delivery to rebuild the under carriage. Recovery was worse. I couldn’t sit for weeks. Thank goodness for my mom — she took care of the baby because I was such a mess. 

If your ladybits don’t feel “right” after birth, speak up. They can be repaired. 

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