Initiating Intimacy and Being More Assertive in the Bedroom…Help!

posted 2 months ago in Intimacy
Post # 17
1027 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

somedaymrsj :  Yeah, I can see how maybe she would think of this night as just a work going-out thing and wants the sexytime to have its own attention, but I don’t think it’s cool to just act all excited all day and then change her mind. Especially when she knew you were excited for it. I would have thought the same thing, that it’d be something to look forward to after work. It seems she had a different line of thought about it though. Glad you’re going to talk to her about it. 

I’d bring that up too, about when you try to initiate you end up feeling invalidated and sheepish. I hate nothing more than the “aw, that’s cute.” response when I’m serious about something. Maybe you should show her how serious you are when she gets home?? 

ETA: I was literally gonna suggest you make the most of the evening and take yourself out. Maybe bring a laptop or a book and make an evening out of it. 

Post # 18
569 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry bee! Go out on the town and have yourself a time! Maybe when you get home you can take care of your own needs, if you know what I mean? 

If she comes home and sees you pleasing yourself, tell her she had her chance and when she’s ready to take you seriously she can feel free to join you ๐Ÿ˜‰ maybe she’ll realize then…

otherwise just let her know it was kind of hurtful to shut you down like that and if she wants you to initiate, she’s gonna have to be more open to spontaneity. She can’t have it both ways

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