Post # 1
I have read soooo many times on these boards that an issue many couples have is initiating sex.
So I figured, hey, let’s help each other out and share whatever stories/advice/ tips we have! Maybe some bees who are great at initiating can share what is successful for them.
I am also a terrible initiator and I’m ashamed to say my husband and I haven’t had sex in a while (he sucks at initiating too lol). We are also always tired and have different work schedules which I recognize is a weak excuse…
So, anyone care to contribute? Share anything!
Post # 2
Shower time can be very sexy. So just jump in when he’s in there and get soapy! It can be great foreplay and hopefully both parties get clean too! 🙂
Post # 3
Initiate by giving him a back massage first
Post # 4
Well we either have shower sex and that’s pretty easy to initiate by helping wash each other’s body
If I can’t sleep at night I wake him up by going down on him and that jump starts things pretty quick
he will initiate by kissing my neck from behind while spooning in bed or with a back rub
We have a toddler so if we have a kid free night or she’s in bed, we make out on the couch while watching a movie.
Sometimes on a date night out, on the way home I’ll give him “road head” and that ALWAYS ends up in sex when we get home.
Post # 5
I don’t really put much thought into how I initiate. Usually, I’ll just tell him that I want to have sex. If I am being more subtle, I just start undressing him.
Post # 7
I just look at him and ask cheerfully “sexy time?” lol. It works most of the time if he’s not tired. 😀
Post # 8
I start moving my hands around his groin area. If he isn’t in the mood, he pushes my hand away, but if he’s still, I know he’s waiting for some action.
I like it better when he initiates first, though. A good way to get him to initiate first is to tell him “I want him” while he’s at work. Then he’s thinking about it on the way and jumps on me. 😉
Post # 9
My partner and I don’t French kiss unless one of us wants some. Our every day hello, goodbye, non sexual romantic times kisses are more chaste.
Post # 10
shower time… going up and straddling him on the couch…. watch him undress and then help with the final buttons… Or I just say ” sex, now”, or something similar
Post # 11
I’m VERY bad about initiating. I find it easier and more in my comfort zone to passively initiate. For example, I’ll get slowly dressed/undressed in front of him or I’ll wear a certain thing that I know is going to ensure sex will happen or there’s always the classic “rub-your-butt-up-on-him-while-laying-in-bed” hahaha
Post # 12
i just grab him by the hand and walk him to our room when I’m in the mood. He takes it from there. He’s always in the mood lol. Our whole sex life depends on when I’m in the mood.
Post # 13
I actually initiate a lot… Sometimes he’ll be standing in the kitchen getting a drink from the fridge or something of that nature and I’ll just start rubbing him through his pants or get on my knees and start giving him a BJ.. Or I’ll just reach in his pants and grab it when we’re on the couch, or kiss him slower/longer than normal and he knows whats up.. Last night I got home before him and put on lingerie and was waiting for him like that when he got home. Haha! Sometimes he’s like, “woman, you’re going to be the death of me!”
Post # 14
Especially now that we have very different work schedules, I have found that we actually to make plans to have sex. It doesn’t seem the most romantic, but if we end up having it a lot less than either of us wants. The anticipation of it can actually be very hot! The plans ensure we make time for sex, but it happens outside those plans too. Usually either one of us asks the other (we are too impatient to do it any other way), or often times if there is a weekend morning neither us have to get up for work, one might encourage showering together, or we will see the other hop out of the shower which usually leads us there. We are much more upfront about asking for it than when we first got together.
Post # 15
I agree!! The rub your butt thing. And not to get Too Much Information, but when you feel it moving, you know someone’s ready!