Post # 1
Hello bees . My Mother-In-Law and SIL have nevr been nice to me. They tried to tell my husband to get back with his ex all the way up to the wedding. Mother-In-Law refused to help with wedding at all which was fine by me (we paid for the wedding out of our pocket . However i offered to let her come to dress. Shopping or help with any planning not expecting her to pay but just to let her be involved so she couldnt say i excluded her on purpose which she claimed anyways then bashed my choices to his aunts) i offered SIL to be a bridesmaid and i knew she didnt have a lot of money since shes fresh out of highschool wih no job so i offered to pay for her Bridesmaid or Best Man expenses so she could be in her brothers wedding if she wanted she declined then claimed to his aunts she wasnt asked when she was asked 3 times by me and 2 more by her brother ….. flash forward a few years im pregnant 🙂 Mother-In-Law and SIL are insisting they be in the delivery room . Keep in mind theyy havent acknowledged me since the wedding and when they invite hubby to family affairs they never put my name on invitation only his. I talked to my hubby and we agree that we want only us in delivery room . I want the moment our baby comes to be our moment . My own mother and sister whom i am very close too wont be their either. I told them the next day or maybe a couple hours late depending on the time of day the baby comes i would be happy to have visitors come. My hubby told his family the same thing. Tonight on facebook (hubby and i share so i can see his fams post) his sister and mother updated status saying im evil anddenying them to be in the babys life…. im so angry right now like no woman i am not saying u cant be in the babies life ur son and i agrees we want the birth/first moments to be ours as a family . My husband is angry and tried talking to them but they are insistant he feels that way cuz im forcing him and they are entitled to be in that room. Seriously they in my opinion are not entitled to crap with our child however because they are family i would never hold the child from them but yeh the birth is our moment i could see if i let Mother-In-Law in her grabbing the baby before i even got the chance to see him. Ugh anyone else have these issues . Sorry for the rant but i needed to get it out
Post # 2
your husband should congratulate them for taking their persecution complex to the self-fulfilling prophecy level.
In other words, keep it up and they will be right, you guys won’t want them near baby!
Post # 3
They are crazy. No one except the father (and obviously medical staff) gets to be in the delivery room unless the mother wants them there. I know one friend – one – who had her own mother there, and she was from a non-western culture. Of all my friends who are mothers, I do not know a single one who had her inlaws in there.
Stand your ground. It is not normal to have your inlaws at the delivery, and they are being unreasonable to ask.
Your husband could ask his mother who was in the delivery room at her births. But she sounds so crazy, reasoning might not help.
EDIT: And waiting until the next day is fine too. After my births I needed to rest, and time with just husband and baby. No one, not even my own mother, came to see me and the baby until after I’d had a rest. That meant later in the day (for a morning birth) or not until the next day (for a night birth).
Post # 4
That’s horrible. Your body, your (and husband’s) baby, your choice. Do not for one second feel bad about not having them in the delivery room.
Post # 5
That’s crazy, absolutely stand your ground on this. I think your Fiance needs to make it as clear as he can (and I’m sure he is trying, but maybe he just needs to be even more direct) that this isn’t you, this is you AND him saying “no, you can’t be in the delivery room”
And this may be the immature, vindictive part of me, but I’d really want to add to that “everytime you bring this up we are going to add a day where you don’t get to see the baby – so you bring it up again you won’t see the baby at the hospital, bring it up 7 more times it will be a week, etc.” It’s just an outrageous request and I can’t believe there are people who feel entitled to be part of such an incredibly private and intimate moment. I mean, are they pissed they weren’t there for the conception of the baby too?
Also, I’d just block them on Facebook. No one needs that extra drama. You can’t get upset about it, if you can’t see it.
Post # 6
Ugh @ grown women posting vindictive drama-seeking b.s. on Facebook, their shit-stirring will only make themselves look bad.
I’m sorry Bee, the Mother-In-Law and SIL sound like nightmares, I can’t imagine why they would turn down your numerous efforts to be nice to them and then make false claims about you not being nice to them.
It’s totally understandable for you and your husband to share your baby’s birth together and include them afterward. It’s awful that Mother-In-Law and SIL are like this, but it’s good to hear that your husband will stand up to them and be firm about the delivery room.
totally agree, Mother-In-Law and SIL are bringing this all on themselves and I can definitely see it being a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Post # 7
Thank you everyone sometimes i worry my hormones make me get crazy lol it feels good to know im not insane for only wanting hubby and i there. When we found out we were expecting we told his mother and my mother first before we could announce to anyone else his mom posted my ultrasound pic on facebook and announced it for us. Thats why i seriously believe shed try to hold the baby before us lol so to avoid any drama my hubby and i figured if its just us we get to hog the first moments 🙂 plus Mother-In-Law wont even include me in family photos what makes her believe i want to show her my lady parts .
hubby blocked them for me 🙂 hes just as angry so at least i have his support he knows i have done nothing but bite my tounge when it comes to his Mom . She never gave me a chance cuz hubby used to date her best friends daughter and ut didnt work out but dear Mother-In-Law still wants it to happen. I like your idea about ever time she acts out she loses a day lol she deserves that
Post # 8
You are so lucky that your H is 100% on your side! You’ve got a good one! I have too many friends dating momma’s boys and I just can’t even imagine why they stay in a relationship where their BF/FI/H sides with their mom all the time!
One of FI’s good friend’s mom sounds similar to your Mother-In-Law. When his wife got pregnant with their 1st child, she sent out e-mails and even called her ex (his father, whom she never talks to) and told him before they could! They are pregnant with their second now and announced it on Facebook so at least it was coming from them and not her.
Post # 9
i feel so thankful . He warned me bout his mom lol but i love him so i just let her be. I think it helps that no matter how nasty she is to me i just smile amd gracefully walk away so my hubby knows i am not enabling her behavior thankfully thats why she always loses if he has to pick a side
Post # 10
First of CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy!!! Having a baby is stressful enough without feeling like people are forcing their wants or desires on you so please remember that you are the one having the baby and what you say goes. Even if you had an amzing relationship with them but didnt want them in the room that would be completely fine.
I rememeber with my first little one my mum and hubbies mum were both in the room. On one hand it was good because hubby had some support but on the other hand when I had my second and it was just me and hubby in the room it was so much more intimate, and I guess relaxed because I wasnt thinking about anyone but us and the baby.
Please dont give in to her crazyness, enjoy your baby and never be afraid to asser the fact that YOU are the mother, because by the sounds of it she is probably going to be a pain once your little one arrives.
Post # 11
Everything BalletParker said.
Congratulations! Don’t give them another thought.
Post # 12
What the hell? You have crazy amount of patience. I’m very surprised you still allow them to interact with you. I mean its nice your husband is supportive and takes your side but how much abuse does he expect you to take?
Cut these negative people out before you get sick from chronic stress.
Post # 13
Also unfollow on Facebook, don’t reply to feed into their craziness. Let your hubby stand up for you.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
Just don’t tell them when you go into labour. If they don’t know it’s happening, there’s no way they can barge in there. She sounds like a nightmare.
Post # 15
Definitely keep them out of the delivery room. Why would they think you’d want people who treat you like scum in there? Definitely crazy