(Closed) Inlaws just decided they are flying in on Thanksgiving night

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 47
15077 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Screw that, I’d have my nice dinner/lunch with my parents.. and then go get Chinese take out and have that with his parents.  It’s their probably they changed their flights last minute, I wouldn’t bend over backwards to accomodate that, especially if my parents werent comfortable with it and was in poor health.  They dont need that kind of stress and you should be able to enjoy a relaxing day with them that you’ve had planned.

Post # 48
11506 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I should note that I have not read through all of the responses, but I would suggest that you enjoy your earlier-in-the-day Thanksgiving meal with your parents as you have already planned and that you purchase an already cooked, second Thanksgiving dinner that you pick up from a gourmet grocery store  and serve to your in-laws at your home later that evening. 

Then, after dinner, you and your DH and his parents could go to your parents’ home for coffee and pumpkin pie (that you also purchase and bring with you — or that you’ve made ahead of time.) 

This way, your exhausted parents would have a break in between the two activities and would only need to help entertain your in-laws for about an hour and a half after your in-laws have already been fed at your home and prior to the time they’ll want to head back to your home to prepare for their early departure the next day.

Post # 50
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Glad to hear that this plan works out best for you and that your SO is on board. I was honestly stressed just reading about it. Like who does that???

Post # 51
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

So glad to read your update – and so glad to see your DH is really a good guy who got ahead of himself and realizes that.  For awhile, I was thinking he must be a jerk or something – but he sounds like a pretty good guy!  Glad things have worked out for you and I do hope things go well for your father.

Post # 53
1877 posts
Buzzing bee

@brideatbeach:  I don’t know what part of the country you live in or what your financial situation is, but many fine hotels and resorts offer elaborate Thanksgiving dinners.  Maybe you could simply take your in laws out for dinner straight from the airport.  Enjoy a relaxed, leisurely day at your parents’ home with them, and then take your in laws out to eat. Then you can still make your husband happy and not have to waste your time with your family cooking for your in laws.

If that won’t work, go to the Honeybaked Ham store online or in person, or visit a nice grocery store like Central Market or Whole Foods.  You can buy a nearly pre-made Thanksgiving dinner there that just needs to be heated up.  Then you won’t have to spend the day slaving in the kitchen and miserable.  You can enjoy the day with your mom, your parents can rest that night, and you can still offer your in laws a nice meal that isn’t just leftovers. 

Post # 54
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

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@brideatbeach:  I’m so glad you guys were able to sort it out!  I haven’t read through every response to this thread so I don’t know if this has been already suggested but here’s a thought.  In my area, some nice restaurants offer Thanksgiving meals to go.  Could you perhaps do that so it’s easy on everyone?

Post # 55
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@brideatbeach:  Oi, I hear you on selfish ILs. Mother-In-Law made a big deal about us going to her house (over 30 minutes away) this year, to make dinner for her. Not “have dinner with me”, not “make dinner with me”, but make dinner for her. Because that’s what we want to do with our one day off in the middle of our busy seasons, is go over to someone else’s house and slave in their kitchen for them.

I can see how DH got bowled over by their request. When someone is so rude, sometimes you’re taken aback so much it can be difficult to put your foot down and say no right away. It’s good that he realized he wasn’t being fair towards you and your family. Hopefully they don’t flip at the idea of changing their plans.

But if they do, grit your teeth and mark it down as something to laugh about later. Sit around with DH and a glass of wine and laugh about how ridiculous they were. That helps me blow some steam off.

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