- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2009
We’ve been married since December 5th…but thougth this was the best category to fit in, since this is about my new inlaws and the last wedding costs.
We hired one of his good friends to be the photographer. He isn’t just a hobby photographer…he has been photographing for years and about 2 years ago decided to get serious about it and start his own business. I love his work, so I was happy to hire him. We never discussed price…he told us he would give us a friend discount, but we stressed we weren’t hiring him for that reason…we like his work and want him for his skills, not any discount (Plus, I am completely camera shy, so I knew I would be more at ease with him than a stranger). We discussed with him that we didn’t want an album…we just wanted a CD of pictures, and that we would go through him to order any prints we wanted. So, he agreed to do it.
So, he’s been working on the pictures and giving us updates here and there, but kept delaying the payment discussion. Finally, he tells Mr. Spotted that the CD is in the mail, and when asked how much we owe him, he said Mr. Spotted’s parents were going to take care of that.
(Okay, let me break in by saying that I didn’t realize how much of a control freak I was until we started planning this wedding. Let me also say that I’m 34 years old, so I’ve been on my own for awhile and worked hard to get to where I am today. I’m a very proud person, and I don’t even ask my parents for money unless there is NO other option. Even then, it makes me sick to my stomach. So, just a little background on who I am.)
Anyway, Mr. Spotted and I had already talked to both of our parents when we were planning the wedding…it was our wedding and our financial responsiblity.We paid for everything, minus a few things here and there that our parents did.
I asked him very nicely if he would talk to his parents about it, tell them we appreciated it but that they had already done enough for us (hell, they gave us plenty of wedding presents and a Wii for Christmas, even though we told them we didn’t want/need anything for either).
Well, he did the exact opposite…he told them that *I* didn’t want them paying for the pictures, and that HE didn’t have a problem with it, but that *I* did. Well, apparently, they already have paid…but they told him that *I* could write them a check if it was going to cause problems between us.
And while he was there, apparently, they let him have it about how I never want them to do anything for us. When I asked him to explain that, he said the pictures, and that I never wanted them to pay for lunch when we went out.
I blew up at that. In my family, when my mom, my sister and I go eat, we take turns. So a couple of times when we went out with his parents, I offered to pay. They never let me so I quit offering. I didn’t think it was that big a deal. I haven’t offerered to pay since before we got engaged, but apparently, they have held it against me this whole time.
Getting back to the pictures…his parents paid OUR photographer $200. I knew he was going to low-ball us an amount, but I wasn’t going to let him do it. Never did I imagine it would be THAT low. And never did I imagine that I would be completely cut out of the discussion and have NO say in how much he should be paid. $200 for him and his wife to drive 2 hours, to be at the church for 6 hours, both of them taking pictures during their friend’s wedding instead of being a guest…plus the countless hours of post-processing. $200 is an insult. But his parents paid it. And the sad thing is that they probably don’t realize that they took advantage of him being a really nice guy. They probably think $200 was what he should have been paid.
So now I can’t stop feeling hurt and angry and embarrased. I know I have to just let the pictures go. There isn’t anything I can do about it…there isn’t any way for me to make it right without making everything more awkward than it already is, or coming across as a bigger bitch than they apparently think I am. So the photographer got screwed. I got screwed. And his parents apparently have a major issue with me know.
How do I do it? How do I just let it go? How do I make this right with his parents?
Let me say I really do appreciate them doing this for us. I’m not a heartless bitch…I do understand that they were trying to do something nice for us. I just can’t help feeling betrayed and guilty because they went behind our backs and took advantage of us hiring a friend. I can’t help but wonder if they would have been so quickly to offer had we hired a $2000+ photographer.