(Closed) Insecure about my husband's past/ex girlfriends(REALLY LONG!!)

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

A lot of cities will have counsellors who charge on a sliding scale, based off of income, and I’d suggest looking into that. You seem to have an unhealthy proccupation to the point where it will eventually do serious damage to your relationship. 

Post # 3
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I just have severe insecurities

stephierae1020:  I think you hit the nail on the head with this statement.  Honestly, I think you need to speak with a therapist because these issues stem from you, not him.  I do sympathize with you on the eczema thing though (I’ve struggled with it myself) and I think if you could see a dermatologist and get that under control it might help you a bit.  Collodial oatmeal baths, coconut oil and lukewarm baths/showers have helped me in this department.  Hopefully you’ll start feeling more comfortable being intimate with your husband soon.

Post # 4
2883 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

stephierae1020:  whenever you feel insecure, look at your rings. Look at your husband. Look at your rings. Repeat as needed. 

Post # 6
2477 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If I were you I would just try to focus on the fact that it’s only you and him in the room…and nobody else is invited. Don’t worry about what he’s thinking when you are being intimate…he’s probably thinking of what he’s looking at…don’t bring other people in with your thoughts. Most likely your husband is attracted to you…but the crying during sex will probably rub him the wrong way if it keeps happening. Think about how much being physically close and intimate strengthens your relationship…embrace that power every time you embrace your husband.

Post # 9
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Just think about how devastating it must be for him when you cry during sex. Put youself in his shoes. That’s how I stop myself thinking these ridiculous thoughts m

Post # 10
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If this continues it will likely ruin your marriage. You need to speak to a counsellor. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  sillysillybee.
Post # 12
11615 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

stephierae1020:  I do suggest you follow up on the therapy. But also, one of the blessings of being loved is we can see ourselves through someone else’s eyes, someone who loves and adores us even with our flaws. Your man loves you and you’re not perfect! his ex wasn’t perfect either. It is also a lie that women who are gorgeous are loved more deeply. Look at Marilyn Monroe. That brings us back to how lucky you are to be loved just as you are. Enjoy it,girl. Don’t throw it away on fear. 

Post # 14
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


Counseling would be a good place to start.

If your husband was not pleased sexually, do you think he would have married you? Most people who do not wait until marriage for sex value a great sexual connection when choosing a marriage partner. 

He chose you over any of the women he has been with in the past. There must have been a reason for that.



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