Post # 1
I am insecure… but who isn’t? However, sometimes, it gets the best of me and this becomes a fire starter between my FI and I. I become upset and say it is because he does not call me beautiful all the time or I just don’t feel good enough for him… (Which is ridicules of me, I know) I become insecure and then think that he would rather something better than me… and I get scared he still craves his past. He use to be a partier and go out every weekend but he stopped a year before me… and I am scared he misses that. I don’t know why?! I don’t know how to get over this! It doesn’t happen all the time and I know he loves me, would never leave me and so much more… but occasionally my insecurities creep up and I get all emotional. This is the only fight or rather disagreement we ever get into. I hate it because I am the cause of it and I am in the wrong. How do I become more self-confident? Any suggestions?
Post # 3
I dont know how to tell you how to become more self-confident or less-insecure, but you may consider consulting a professional. There is an author, Cheri Huber, who has very intuitive and easy to read books – you may want to go to your local book store and browse some of her titles.
Relationship wise, I feel I am on the other side of the fence – in your FH’s court, and you in my FH’s court. I was a big partier and quit completely not long before meeting my FH. He feels somewhat insecure about many aspects of the me-to-him ratio. He feels I’m better looking, more intelligent, better travelled, more worldy, and so on. I make an effort to pu-pu these comments and remind him often that I love him because he is not me. That the last person I would want to spend the rest of my life with is a mirror of myself. Therefore, he is exactly what I need and that is why I have decided to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. I find this often helps soothe his insecurities – besides, it’s all truth.
I think the fact that you are aware that these fights are beginning because of your insecurities but that you do honestly trust him is wonderful. I think your next step to take is with youself. Find out how you can love you more and then these fights ought to cease on their own.
Post # 4
I would consider therapy. It’s really hard to stop those destructive thoughts on your own.