Insensitive email from therapist before DH's cancer surgery

posted 1 year ago in Wellness
Post # 3
5447 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

rusticchic212 :  

Your therapist does have a point and I don’t think the email was worded too harsh. I think you already have a lot going on so it hit you harder than it was supposed to hit.

Can you go back to being comfortable with your therapist after that email? If you can’t then you might need to find another one who you can be completely comfortable with. Can you move to a different time slot or is 7:30 your only option?

Post # 4
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

It would have been nice for her to wish you good luck on the surgery.  But I agree she’s got a good point… when a client cancels two upcoming sessions in a row, that starts to send a message that you’re not invested in it or the time doesn’t work for you in a larger sense.  (Even if that’s not true.)

Post # 6
2509 posts
Sugar bee

rusticchic212 :  The weddingbee algorithms now automatically expand certain acronyms. 

Firstly, I’m so sorry you and your husband are going through this, and best of  luck with the surgery and recovery.

Secondly, that email is highly unprofessional and inappropriate. Especially so given the profession this person is in and the relationship she is supposed to be cultivating with you.

I would feel incredibly hurt by her prioritizing her bottom line over my own mental health and well-being at a time like this. So much so that I wouldn’t be able to trust her moving forward.

I would probably reply to the effect that she can have that time slot back for other patients, as I will no longer be seeing her. Then I would leave a few reviews online in all the typical places so that other prospective patients would know what they were getting into. 

Highly unprofessional.

Post # 7
7851 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I dunno, the point the therapist is making is fair, but I would have expected them to be a tad more gentle in getting this point across given what you’re going through….which I assume is something you’ve discussed in therapy. This is a therapist after all! The way she worded it, “with the surgery etc” just seems a bit cold given everything, and then the guilt trip about the inconvenience your cancelling puts them through. I’d be bothered too.

Post # 9
5447 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

How long have you been seeing this therapist?

Post # 11
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

rusticchic212 :  I don’t think it was particularly insensitive or harsh. My therapist and I have a really good working relationship but I am the type of person that never misses appointments. And she will ask me to reschedule if she’s sick and I have the done the same thing a couple fo times. 

We skype though. And it works out marvelously. No driving. 

SO, that being said, would they be willing to do skype with you? You could get home earlier and not have to ‘hang out’ at work for 2 hrs. Just a suggestion. 

Another suggestion is to find a therapist that has more flexibility. 

Good luck to you!

Post # 13
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Keep in mind that many of the things that already annoy you about the therapist— they don’t have a lot of regular slots for you to choose from, you have to take dinner to work with you since it makes for a long day, it’s hard to find a therapist that takes your insurance– are not the therapist’s fault.  It’s normal when our lives get turned upside down as with a cancer diagnosis, that we want to find something/someone to lash out at, but I don’t think the therapist has been insensitive or done anything wrong in sending this message. 

Post # 14
10028 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, my heart goes out to you and your husband.  I hope and pray he recovers completely.  A person in my family has also recently been through a terrible health scare, so I know how everything happening in your life seems more even stressful and amplified.  People sometimes don’t have compassion.  I would find a new therapist.  What she emailed might be understandable, but it was also very insensitive under the circumstances.

Post # 15
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Canada

I would be bothered by that email.  It’s very cold, as PP stated.  If you’ve been a long-term client with few cancellations, I can’t understand why they would respond to you in this manner.  I’d probably start looking for another therapist because I would feel as though mine doesn’t genuinely care about my well-being.

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