Post # 1
Maybe I’m being overly hormonal this week but I just got really ticked off today.
My boss’s friend came by work for a visit so the two of them, along with Fiance and I began talking, and the conversation turned to our wedding. This friend started by saying, “Marriage is hard. they all think it’s going to stay like this but give it 2 or 3 years. You both will get tired of eachother. you’ll start to hate eachother.” Uh…I realize 100% that honeymoon phases die and couples grow more used to each other and less enamored but really? We’re getting married in a month. We’re celebrating, in a good mood, and you come, guns out, like that? How are we supposed to respond with anything that isn’t awkward, confrontational, uncomfortable, or sarcastic on somebody’s part? I gave her one of those nervous I-don’t-know-how-respond laughs. She then continued with “And if you have kids, it’s harder. Wait til you’re older to have them.” I said I didn’t want kids and my boss mentioned that Fiance did want kids. The friend quipped “Oh, then watch out, the divorce is already underway.” I defensively said that we already talked long and hard about our differences on the issue and that it was settled between us and she said “I’m just kidding.” Well, like Ellen Degeneres once said – “Then you don’t know how to kid…because we should both be laughing.”
She’s a nice lady overall and I realize that she didn’t mean any offense by the things she said but I just felt annoyed by her comments. She’s my boss’s friend, not mine, not FI’s. Therefore she isn’t close enough to either of us to be making those kinds of “jokes” as her first commentary bits on our relationship, in my opinion. We’re getting married soon, we don’t need to hear the negativity.
Post # 3
@harleyq: Boo on her. Unfortunately, we can’t control what people say to us, and weddings bring out the ‘advice’ from everyone. Try to just let it roll off your back.
Some people think they’re being funny, some are using humor to mask the upset in their lives, and other people are just freaking clueless. You waste your energy thinking about their comments (because they clearly haven’t), and you waste even more trying to confront it.
Try your best to let it go, and maybe just say that you’ve had your fill of wedding talk with all the last minute details, how about that Tebow/weather/neighbor’s pet/any damn thing else 🙂
Post # 4
@harleyq: She probably just thought she was being funny. Or she’s a generally cynical person. Whatever her deal is, it certainly isn’t about you, which doesn’t make it sting less but it should help you to get over it if you think “How sad that this woman feels the need to bash marriage to casual acquaintences getting married” Rather than “How rude that this woman bashed marriage RIGHT to my face when I’m getting MARRIED”.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada
I’m so sorry this happened to you but I really think you just have to ignore it. It’s generally people that are jealous because they are not where you are at the moment I.e loved, respected, blissfully happy etc. I had a similar thing happen to me at work. We had drinks to celebrating my engagement and these 2 ladies who are both single started going on about how all men cheat if they get a chance and all they care about is s.. And men are bad etc stuff like that. I just stood there for a sec and though this is incredibly rude when we are celebrating my upcoming marriage but I just though “you know what, they don’t have what I have so they just don’t know”. I know my man isn’t like that and I have a secure relationship do let them speculate and be jealous. You know that your relationship is great so it doesn’t matter what this woman says – what does she know? She is not you! Have a wonderful weddingday and I wish you all the best for the future!
Post # 6
The worst is when it comes from people who aren’t even married themselves. I have a friend who is always making these kind of snarks but has barely ever had a relationship, so why he feels he is the voice of wisdom in the situation I have no idea lol.
Something older, positive people tend to tell me is that whilst the initial excitement does fade it only makes way for a deeper, more mature love that you only get after knowing each other inside and out for a long time. The confusing infatuation ends but the feeling of not wanting to spend your life without the other grows, but you know you’ll never have to so you relax.
Post # 7
you just have to smile and nod I work in a male dominated field so you don’t even know how many time I hear the joke why do women wear white on there wedding day?????? you want the dishwasher to match the rest of the appliance and there is many more.