Inspired by a post, was your proposal a surprise?

posted 8 months ago in Beehive
  • poll: Did you know a proposal was coming?
    It was a complete surprise! : (29 votes)
    43 %
    I knew some details, but not so many that I wasn’t “shocked”. : (14 votes)
    21 %
    Surprise, please. We picked everything together but the actual words of my FI’s proposal. : (14 votes)
    21 %
    Other : (11 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 16
    10213 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    I mean, it was a surprise as neither one of us woke up that day thinking we would get engaged today. We were at breakfast and had a conversation, then we went to the mall and bought a ring, then he proposed that evening in “official” capacity. 

    Also your poll is flawed since you don’t give any other options other than some level of surprise or other. 

    Post # 17
    177 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m not engaged yet so I probably shouldn’t comment but I’m not expecting to be surprised at all. My SO and I have already started talking about it and he’s terrible at keeping secrets from me. He has never been able to surprise me so far in the relationship lol. Luckily for us, I’m okay with it not being a surprise. I imagine he will try to keep the exact plans somewhat of a surprise but I’m sure I’ll have a hunch. We’ll see. 

    Post # 19
    10213 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    When I see it it only gives surprise related answers and other! Must be a glitch somewhere on the bee, my apologies! Didn’t mean it in a bitchy way I was just confused lol 

    View original reply
    zoraneale :  

    Post # 20
    209 posts
    Helper bee

    I was pretty surprised. The only times we had discussed marriage, we had both agreed that it was something we might want to do someday but it wasn’t high on our priority list. Also, we’d only been dating for 2 years and living together for about 4 months, so I definitely didn’t think we were “there” yet. The only clue I had was that my sister had rather suspiciously, out of nowhere, asked me what size ring I wore and made me try on her ring for fit…

    Post # 21
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2019 - Canadian Rockies

    Total surprise. We knew we wanted to, someday. It wasn’t urgent. And we had spent our relationship (some 7 years at that point) pretty much disregarding Valentine’s Day. So when he takes me out to a fancy Vday dinner, I just thought he was being nice. (We do a fair amount of date nights as it is) So I was very shocked – he showed no signs of being nervous!! The best part is, he gave me a handwritten letter and ended it with “which is why…” and then when I was finished reading he walked over and got down on a knee 😀

    The other cool thing is, he let me pick my ring after that (the one he picked was a stand-in type of ring)

    Post # 22
    945 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

    I wasn’t surprised at all because we didn’t have a proposal. We sat and had a discussion, decided we wanted to get married, and the following day we went out and bought a ring. That was it, we considered ourselves engaged from the point when the decision was made.

    Post # 23
    3041 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2006

    A late night conversation turned into us going to the jewelry store when they opened the next morning. I picked out the ring and started wearing it when it came back from being sized. No formal proposal and no surprise. I don’t understand what all the hype is about with people holding onto a ring for months or even years waiting for some fairy tale Instagram worthy proposal. Meanwhile, the recipient of the ring is in complete agony and on these boards questioning their relationship. Makes zero sense to me. 

    Post # 24
    306 posts
    Helper bee

    Hahahah my story is really funny so I’ll chime in…

    My husband asked for the stone I had from my great grandmother that I wanted set into a ring for my engagement ring. He asked me what I wanted it to look like and everything. He was very thorough about it so I knew it was happening and I had always told him (because he asked a lot) that I wanted a Christmas proposal. 

    Well, I didn’t know he was having it set in time and I wanted to do something really special for Christmas because I knew he was the one forever ago. I mean, this man asked me if I would marry him every single day for months and months because he’s a sweet guy and we always considered ourselves unofficially engaged (only unofficial because he knew I wanted some sort of a intimate small official proposal). So I decided I would propose to him, since we both were certain and had talked about marriage a lot. 

    I bought him a really nice chocolate tungsten band with a rose gold inlay and I got a stuffed version of his dog (who I had also fallen in love with, we’re big on dogs) and got it a voice box, dressed up in a bride outfit. When you hit the voice box it says, “I love you (Husband’s name), will you marry me?” 

    I proposed to him in his shared house with his brother on Christmas Eve and he could not stop laughing because there was my ring, set and ready to go, for his Christmas Day proposal. 

    So you can say that we were both on the exact same page 😂

    Post # 25
    1607 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

    No it was not a surprise. We had lived together for a couple years at that point, raised a puppy, etc. Basically living as a married couple without the paperwork. We would talk about it on and off like what kind of wedding we wanted, when to have kids, so it was a natural progression. He said he wanted to know what type of ring I wanted because if he’s spending that much there’s no use getting something I don’t like, so we went ring shopping and I showed him a few from the Verragio collection I loved the most. 

    I then “didn’t know” what was going on but can’t say i was shocked when he officially proposed a few months later. 

    Post # 26
    6878 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Was I “surprised” when my husband actually proposed? Yes. I was overcome with excitement and emotion and it was wonderful. I actually don’t even remember all the details or what I said. My husband said he actually had to remind me to answer the question! 

    But was I “surprised” that we were actually taking this official next step in our relationship? Not in the slightest. Our relationship was a very open book. We’d been together for almost exactly 4 years by the time he proposed, living together for almost 2. We knew we were going to get married, have kids, all that jazz. So no. It wasn’t a surprise to me that we were now taking that step. But the actual proposal itself was. He had given no indication that that was THE DAY. The ring he picked was beautiful and just what I wanted (I had given him very simple guidelines: round solitaire, not big, affordable). The spot he chose to propose was again, beautiful and just how I’d imagined it would be: just the two of us alone. It was so…us. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

    Post # 27
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    We had gone ring shopping months before, but I didn’t know that he ordered the ring. We got engaged on a vacation where I hoped he would propose. I had no thought that day that it would happen so to me, it was a surprise.

    Post # 28
    408 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

     My Husband wanted it to be a surprise, he tried, he’s just not good at being discreet lol. He left the invoice for the ring in his jeans he asked me to wash, I felt SO guilty finding it but I just hid the jeans because I didn’t want him to know I knew there was a ring. We were planning a trip to the caribbean so I assumed that is where he was going to do it. I wasn’t expecting him to have a full blown panic about hiding the ring on the vacation and proposing within an hour of getting there though lol. It was still perfect, it was just us which is all I wanted, the ring was perfect and we kept it secret the whole time we were on vacation because I just wanted to enjoy being engaged. 

    Post # 29
    3264 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    Yes,  it was definitely a surprise. I knew he loved me and his actions told me he was in it for the long haul…  We did not live together but had been dating a little over a year and a half. He apparently bought the ring on his own, I think he later told me he had just picked it up the day before! I went over to his apartment as we were going out that night and he suddenly got down on one knee,  proposed and proffered the ring!


    Post # 30
    1811 posts
    Buzzing bee

    First one was not so much a surprise. We looked at rings at BlueNile just a few weeks before and I picked out which setting I liked best out of the ones he was considering. I was surprised at the timing a few weeks later as I didn’t think it would’ve been long enough for a ring to have been set and mailed.

    Second one was a COMPLETE surprise. We had found out we were pregnant two weeks before (planned pregnancy). We had talked about getting married, but no rush, but I knew that if we got pregnant it would bump his timeline. But I had no idea how much it would bump it. I didn’t even know he had looked at rings, much less bought one. It was only as he was proposing that I figured out what was happening. They had just cut the field behind our house and I had talked about wanting to get out to walk the dog more so he suggested we go scope it out. It was not high on my list of things to do as I was already feeling like garbage thanks to DS. He was talking all mushy, which isn’t out of the norm for him, but then he said he wanted to try and “hear the baby” which was absolutely ridiculous at 6 weeks and I realized that meant he would have to kneel down. That’s when it dawned on me what was happening. 

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