Post # 1
It is just mind boggling to me that people think it’s okay to add people that haven’t been invited To RSVPs. I.e. Adding kids, random dates, etc. So… How do people rationalize this, or in other words, why do they think it’s ok to do this?
Post # 3
@MoonlitMagnolia: Lots of possibilities:
they were never taught good manners
they don’t really care about good manners
many young couples are easily intimidated
they simply aren’t able to separate from their children- (Not referring to nursing babies)
they really believe that their opinion, wants and desires are more important than the host’s
they have never devoloped a plan for going out without their children
etc etc etc
Post # 4
@MoonlitMagnolia: I truly think that most people just don’t know the “etiquette” of invites. I think the people who do understand (at least from my family’s experience) will usually call and ask if they can bring so-and-so, rather then just writing it in on the RSVP card. Which is still rude, but at least it shows some comprehension that they were the only ones invited.
Post # 5
The thought would never even occur to me.
Post # 6
@MoonlitMagnolia: Naivety or possibly just trying to be pushy. My parents couldn’t make it to one of my cousin’s wedding a few years back. They sent my invite to my parent’s house even though she knew I wasn’t living there and had my new address. It kind of annoyed me but then my naivety probably annoyed the crap out of her. I called and asked if FI (then BF) could come with me since my parents weren’t able to make it. We’d been together well over a year but once I joined the Bee I realized I was waaay in the wrong to ask.
Post # 7
With both plus ones and children, there seems to be a certain sense of entitlement. “I have a child/plus one so I get to bring a child/plus one.”
There are also certain etiqute issues that make people feel very entitled to a plus one. Married couples, yes, you have to invite their other half. Living together and engaged seems to cause a lot of headaches, as that can change five times between when the couple gets engaged and when invites are sent. I had three cousins get engaged and 4 friends move in with SOs since my FI and I got engaged 6 months ago. One of those move ins has also moved out. I could tear my hair out. They are all invited, but I have NEVER been this involved and watchful of people’s dating lives before.
And of course, with children there is the “My child is a saint, and a super speical snow flake, so of course, they are invited.”
Post # 8
I bet for most people it is that they just don’t know. When I was invited to weddings in my early 20’s I had no idea that I couldn’t bring a +1 if the envelope was just addressed to me…I would just add on my SO’s name and respond “2” because there was a blank for # attending. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized I couldn’t!
Post # 9
I’m not sure i understand not having children at the wedding. I look at weddings as a family affair and should be for the whole fam-damily. We will not have children at ours just because it’s a DW and no one with children RSVPed yes. We had 1 couple ask if it would be OK to bring their 3 year old grand daughter… I got so excited that i might be able to dress this tiny girl up and force her to be a flower girl. Little kids would probably be leavign early anyway due to bed times.
I refused to leave out first cousins and SOs, ie. Gay uncle’s BF.
If someone brings a SO that’s not engaged or married, take pics with and without the SO so that if they break up, no harm.