(Closed) Insults to your ering?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
246 posts
Helper bee

@cls9q:  That ring looks beautiful! A 1.5 is a good size. Not too big at all! Congratulations on your near-engagement 🙂

Post # 33
104 posts
Blushing bee

I would find a nice to say shut down her commentary quickly. Something like… “Thank you so much for your advice & input (clearly, not advice or input you asked for! :))! At this point, I have a ring that I truly love, and that I will enjoy for the rest of my life. I feel very fortunate to have a fiance that chose such a stunning ring, and I have no plans to change it! I’m now looking forward to focusing on my planning my wedding.”

Post # 36
3154 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@cls9q:  Your ring will be gorgeous! Your friend’s remarks are really crappy and uncalled for.  She should keep her snarky remarks to herself. It’s yours/FI’s money and you can spend it how you like:)  Luckily I’ve never had any negative comments.


Post # 37
21 posts
  • Wedding: August 2014

@cls9q: After that little incident maybe you have your answer, I mean your Maid/Matron of Honor should be there for you not stress you out.. If you are  working on a budget she might help you stay on it however can you trust her opinion or is she goiong to be jelouse with everything

Post # 38
12339 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@cls9q:   That doesn’t convince me that it would be a move I’d make, which is fine, cause it’s not my money!  Smile  I don’t count my chickens before they hatch, the potential to make a lot more later is not the same as having the income and excess cash in hand to me, but I’m super conservative.  Maybe your emergency savings fund and/or retirement savings is all set and there’s enough left over to not wipe you out.  Who knows.  That’s why whatever other people say about your spending is just silly, they never know all the details and everyone has different savings or cash flow comfort levels. 


Post # 39
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My friend worked at a jewelry store and agreed to give me her employee discount to have my ring resized. When she was inspecting it under the microscope, she says, “You’re lucky the stone is so small. If it were any bigger, you could see how bad the quality is.” I was like, Gee…thanks.

Post # 40
3797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@cmbr:  Wow. Just…wow.

Post # 41
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My Fiance saved up for 2.5 years to get me my 2ct. Could that money technically have been used elsewhere? Sure, money can always be used elsewhere! Sometimes I feel bad about it, but it’s not like he was taking his entire paycheck every week, it took that long because he was doing it slowly. And, he invested in me and my ring as your Fiance is doing in you and your ring. Don’t let her make you feel bad. I love my ring and am so proud to say my Fiance was thinking about marrying me for 2.5 years before he finally popped the question and he waited for the perfect ring and the perfect moment! You’ll be able to say the same, too.

I don’t think she’s jealous (I mean, she could be – but if she’s your close friend, I would assume she’s not a frenemy), I think she’s freaking out over the idea of spending that much money on something that might not be as important to her. I don’t know if she’s already engaged or if she’s single and doesn’t think the ring would be that important to her or whatever and maybe it’s not, but to you it is and so she should be supportive – if she wants to express her reservations/advice once, that’s totally understandable as she may just be looking out for you and worried that you’re making a financial mistake – but more than that is too much, she needs to back off.

Post # 42
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Obviously jealousy and bitterness. I would let her stew and carry on. 

Post # 43
1887 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think your friend’s comments are rude in the way she has gone about it, but perhaps they are coming from a place of love and concern? Or maybe she just hasnt different priorities as to how she would spend her money. I really don’t think she HAS to be jealous, although I’m not saying she couldn’t have been a lot more tactful. 

Post # 44
126 posts
Blushing bee

One word: jealousy!!!

You rock that rock!!

Post # 45
5986 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Maybe she really does think it’s a waste of money. I personally think that large rings are a waste of money but that certainly doesn’t mean I’m jealous of people’s large rings.

However, I don’t go around telling people this because I think that’s rude. FWIW I think the ring you have picked out is gorgeous and I don’t think a 1.5 will overpower your finger unless you have tiny fingers. And even if it does overpower your finger, if you like it than stop listening to what she is saying.

Post # 46
25 posts

I never like to use the “she’s just jealous” route, but considering she hasn’t even seen your ring yet and is making assumptions about how it’ll look and how you should spend your money….she sounds a bit jealous. It’s your ring, and if it’s what you love then that’s all that matters. She can still think what she does, but it’s rude to say it you like that. It isn’t up to her how your money is spent.

I’ve had comments about my ring too, but the opposite. One of my fiance’s friends said “Let me get a magnifying glass so I can actually see this thing!”, and “It’s adorable!”. My ring is just slightly over a half carat, but that was by MY choice. We shopped around for awhile and I found this size was what looked best on my finger, and I picked the ring out myself. My fiance was fully willing to spend above what I chose for a larger diamond, but it isn’t what I wanted. I just respond with a simple “Well, I think it looks perfect!”

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