That’s very sweet of you to say, thanks ^_^
I hadn’t considered having the tie at the celebration but it does sound like a really wondeful thing do. We’re absolutely having cake (is it really a celebration without cake?) and I like the idea of having it as a decoration in front of it on the table.
What you did for your friend sounds so lovely and if someone asked me to do that for a friend I would be happy to be a part of it. They are lucky to have someone so thoughtful in their lives.
Thank you for your well wishes ^_^
Thanks, you’ve put it so well in the idea of being part of someone’s joy and happiness is so special even if you’re not standing there to watch it.
I think that’s so sweet of your best friends husband to organise that, I’m sure they would have loved it so much.
Thanks, I think that it’s a good idea to approach people with a conversation so I’m glad that I got feedback encouraging that. I agree that a wedding is about the two people getting married and that someone is missing the point if their focus of this is that they weren’t invited. Thank you for your well wishes ^_^
I think it’s insulting to suggest that my friends don’t like doing things for other people and instead lie about their feelings. Not everyone hates doing things for others and not everyone lies about their feelings.
I don’t think it’s good manners to lie to friends, again my friend who was incredibly happy for me also felt very distressed by my choice of day and expressed this openly to me. I’ve also gone to them with big, exciting ideas that I’ve loved in the moment that they’ve shared their honest opinions of whether it’s in support of or against.
So no, I guess you’re not going to convince me that a group of people I love and know very well are actually all lying, deceptive people that secretly hate doing things for the people they love (even though this is a regular part of how they live their lives). If you’ve read some of the other comments maybe you can open your mind up to the idea that there are people out there that love to do these kinds of things for their friends. You’re not one of those people, I get that and there’s nothing wrong with it, but I don’t really have people like you in my close circle of friends.
Your kindergarten sounds interesting, I don’t know that we even knew the word “flaunt” back then, I think my teacher was more focused on teaching us fingerpainting and what not. That’s a neat lesson though, however I disagree that involving people in a meaningful moment in my lives is flaunting an event.
Thanks, it surprised me too, I’m glad to see that not everyone is horrified at the idea of asking friends to be involved in something meaningful to me though. I really like that way of putting it, that you’re not being exluded from the celebration but instead being included at a different time ^_^
I think it’s really sad that most people feel they have to lie to their friends, or that most people don’t like doing things that show love for their friends. The people who have commented that what I’m doing makes sense to them maybe show that more people are open to sharing love in this way than you realise?
I completely undestand what you’re saying in regards to bursting someone’s bubble and that you don’t want to hurt people’s feelings for no reason. Again, my friends and I try to openly share our opinions whether we agree or disagree with something. I asked a friend if she would write something to be said in my ceremony (something I was very excited about) and she said that she’d feel anxious about that and would prefer to write something that I read in private on the day. She could have lied and just unhappily done it like the people you’re describing but like the people I’m describing she acknowledged how flattered she was, expressed ill ease at the request, and suggested an alternative option.
It’s also confusing to me that a private ceremenony with a celebration seems gift grabby but a traditional wedding where people are actually expected to bring gifts is not. We plan on having a “no gifts your presence is enough” comment on the invite card and if anyone really feels that an event to celebrate our union is being purely created just so that we can potentially receive a gift… Maybe they’re not really that happy for us or interested in our joy and that probably can’t be helped no matter what we do.
We’re prepared for aquaintances and family members to potentially feel hurt if we don’t have a big wedding. We know that we can’t control that. We feel that us being unhappy at a big wedding is not worth it though, and if our close friends and immediate family support our choice then having an aunt be upset that we didnt make our wedding day all about her isn’t really an issue for us.