(Closed) Intercultural – Name changing?

posted 7 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 3
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ve thought about the same scenario! I am caucasian, and my FH is Vietnamese. We both are going to be physicians, and I was thinking about the likelihood of confusion if I were to take his name–i.e. patients expecting someone other than a blonde woman! I have thought about the hyphenation option as I do love my last name, but the more I think about it, I am leaning toward just taking his name. I would really like to have that “unity” with him, as well as have the same last name as our future children. Good luck! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have this same thing going on I am caucasian (blonde hair white as a milk jug) and Fi is Hispanic and so his last name… I am going to be a kindergarten teacher and I can just imagine Parents being completely shocked on the first day of school when Ms. E is Me… Not to mention I already have changed my last name once in high school due to my step dad (basicly real dad) adopting me and it took me OVER a year to get used to it and I still answer to both last names lol… Fi wants me to take his last name but Im struggling with this one too…

Post # 5
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I struggle with his as well.  I’m in the legal field and I am known by maiden name.  If I change it, people are going to be confused when they are expecting a caucasion person and out comes this little asian woman. LOL!

That reminds me of this episode of Seinfeld where they where George was going to see an acupunturist expecting to see an Asian woman but out comes a Caucasion lady that he leaves…hahahahaha.

Post # 6
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

tbh I love to surprise people out of their preconceptions about things.  In highschool I died my hair blond and looked like the typical California beach bunny, and so on first sight, most people thought “Oh typical dumb blond”.  I loved watching their faces as they quickly figured out that I wasn’t dumb.  

I will admit that when it came to taking my husbands last name, I really had no thought beyond the fact that I *wanted* to take my husbands last name.  My husbands last name is Dutch though so in America, that’s not all that wierd.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post.  lol I guess I’m just rambling my thoughts out.  🙂

Post # 8
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

The only way I wouldn’t change my name would be if I had already made a name for myself professionally.  I’m changing to a hispanic last name, but know people will be super shocked I’m SUPER white.  I want people to view us as a family unit, especially because our children will look a lot more like my Fiance… at least in skin/hair/eye color. My biggest concern is finding names for our children we can agree on – I like American names and he feels that a tan kid with an American name will be confused.  I say our kids get hispanic last names so that’s his half.  All of this is said in good fun, but I know in the (distant) future it could be an issue.

Post # 9
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@ninjajane: I’m in the same boat.. I’m Chinese and he’s Irish, I toyed with the idea of him taking my last name but was totally kidding. He’s technically got 3 first names, his first and last get mixed up all the time.  

We’re both ok with keeping our last names, and I think it’s readily accepted these days.  The kids would take his last name though.  I have thought it might be kinda weird when I go to parent teacher conferences and they address me with the kids surnames..I’m pretty sure I’ll respond to both though even if it’s not official. 🙂 

One thing I learned when my officemate got married though was how short the company policies were on getting all of these ‘life changes’ formalized.  They only allowed 30 days after the wedding to submit paper work..who does that!!! Did they forget people go on honeymoons etc?? 

 

Post # 10
Hostess
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I have always made it clear that I would be keeping my last name, however our children can have his last name. For some people that is very strange and they seem to judge, I don’t see it as a big deal.

My mom was adopted and I do not know my father so I am the last of my “line” so to speak and I want to keep it going, besides I really like my last name.

My man seems to accept it and understands the complications behind my decision.

Post # 11
Hostess
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I have always made it clear that I would be keeping my last name, however our children can have his last name. For some people that is very strange and they seem to judge, I don’t see it as a big deal.

My mom was adopted and I do not know my father so I am the last of my “line” so to speak and I want to keep it going, besides I really like my last name.

My man seems to accept it and understands the complications behind my decision.

Post # 12
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i am hyphenating. i am the last in my family with this last name and it wouldn’t be continueing since my cousin is gay. so i plan on having my kids hyphenate too.

Post # 13
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I have a very Italian 11 letter last name, and am going to take Fi’s very French 6 letter last name. And by very French, I mean people usually think he is a tourist born and raised in France when they hear his last name! That could be fun, even though I don’t look the slightest bit French! 

My friend with a very simple name (think Jane Smith simple) is Irish, red hair freckles and all. She took her husband’s last name and confuses people all the time! He is Trinidadian. She said she is used to it now.

Post # 14
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m having a hard time with this too. I’m leaning towards just changing my name. My name is a pretty common name of Scottish/ English origin. My husband’s name is a true Filipino name. As in, not a Spanish name.

Post # 15
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think that eventually, we have to realize on some level that our expectations about someone’s culture based on their looks, name, mannerisms, etc. may be completely different from their actual background and heritage.  It’s impossible to get away from the stereotypes… but I think it is something about which we can all be aware.  And, I think it is becoming more and more common (having a last name of different heritage through marriage) as our society becomes more intercultural- which I think is a good thing. 

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