(Closed) Interesting articles about costs to be a bridesmaid

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man twice and the word is out, NO MORE!!

Post # 4
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Right after college, I was in 3 of my friends’ weddings. If I wasn’t so lucky as to land a job upon graduation, it would have completely bankrupted me. Typically, I ballpark:

DRESS: $150 (dress & alterations)

SHOES: $75

HAIR/MAKEUP/NAILS: $150

WEDDING GIFT: $75

SHOWER GIFT: $40

BACH. PARTY: $100 (paying for my drinks, bride’s drinks etc. etc.)

And that doesn’t count the cost of travel or time that you put into these things. So yeah, we’re looking at somewhere in the vicinity of $500, although I’m sure I’ve done it for less and I’ve done it for more, depending on the wedding. (Most weddings I’ve been a part of have been in major cities, so the prices might reflect that)

Post # 5
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

The thing that sucks IMO is that even when you try to keep costs down they just seem to add up! I haven’t ever been a bridesmaid but I have 3 including my Maid/Matron of Honor. I went shopping with two of the girls and told them they could pick whatever dress they liked best as long as I didn’t hate it. They picked a really pretty strapless dress that came out to about 150 with tax and shipping. Then they’ll need alterations. I told them I wanted them to wear gold shoes but they can pick their own (unfortunately only 1 of 3 girls already had a pair). I am not making them get hair or makeup or nails done, but all three have said they’d like to get their hair done so that is another 50. 

I seriously feel badly about all the money they’re spending, but I have no idea how I could’ve made it cheaper without doing the “any black dress” route that I just really dont care for how it looks. 🙁 

Post # 6
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Hmm, that seems really high! I have only been in one wedding though, and here were my costs (that I remember…)

 

Dress – $79.99, free shipping and alterations – David’s Bridal

Shoes – $19.99 – Payless

*Shower Gift – $50

Bachelorette Party – Unfortunately I was out of town and couldn’t attend, but I sent $100 to help cover some costs.  That probably was overkill, as it was simple and quiet, just a wine tasting and dinner at a local winery.

*Wedding Present – $100

Hair – $30 (not required)

Make-up – DIY

Nails – Paid for by bride

* – Would have paid for these items anyway as a guest

I think that’s it.  Not bad at all.

Post # 7
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@CorgiTales: I wouldn’t beat myself up–most BMs know what they’re getting into when they agree to be your maids. I grumbled about it, but in the end, I was happy to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man for my friends and to hold that special place at their wedding.

The big thing is not to make unreasonable demands and to be flexible and understanding, if one confides in you they can’t afford say, your bachelorette party or if they spend a little less on you for your wedding gifts.

Post # 8
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

It’s even worse when you and your Fiance are in the wedding together.

We paid close to $1500 for both of us, and we’re both broke students.  Air travel was a big part of that.  I wouldn’t have missed the wedding for the world, but it certainly put a dent in our pocketbooks.

Post # 9
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

The most recent weddings I have been in were my 2 best friends. I was a bridesmaid in both though acted much more like the maid of honor. I spent over $1000 on the first one. Fiance and I were both in the second one and we spent a combined $1600+. 

First wedding: 

Dress: $170
Alterations: None
Accessories: $80
Hair/Makeup: $60
Bridal Shower: $500 (I paid for the entire thing myself with no help from ANYONE)
Bridal Shower Gift: $100
Bachelorette Party: $150 (I bought the liquor but made another bridesmaid handle the rest)
Wedding Gift: $150

Second Wedding:

Dress: $160
Tux Rental: $140
Alterations: None
Accessories: $30
Hair/Makeup: Free
FI’s hair cut and shave: $40
Bridal Shower: $550 (I paid the majority of this shower as well but one bmaid did throw me some money)
Bridal Shower Gift: $100
Bachelorette Party: $100
Bachelor Party: $300
Wedding Gift: $150 

We also had to both take a day and a half off of work (unpaid since we blew through our vacation already) for the second wedding. When we add that in, we’re over $2000 spent for our friends wedding. Oy Vey! 

I have tried to make our wedding as easy on our wedding parties wallets as possible. I wish they would have done the same for me! 

Post # 10
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Very interesting!! I know what it’s like from both sides since I recently was married but have been a Bridesmaid or Best Man 3 times for 3 totally different brides. I think it’s OK for a bride to have a few small things that are important to her required of the BM’s (like getting hair done professionally the day of, buying a dress), but I hear horror stories about destination bachelorette parties to AC and Vegas renting out a penthouse and I cringe.

Post # 11
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m so glad you guys posted this – I’m getting *really* tired of reading a lot of posts on here (not naming names!) where people feel like their BMs aren’t doing enough or respecting the ‘honor’ of the title.. I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man 3 times also and for one wedding, shelled out over $1600…and she was trying to be easy on us (black Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, no hotel for bachelorette party, etc etc – which I totally appreciated, but look what it added up to regardless..)

Engagement gift: $50

Dress: $250

Shoes: $120

Flight to bachelorette party: $300

Bachelorette party (bar, activities, etc): $100

Bachelorette party gifts: $50

Shower gift: $40

Flight to wedding: $100

2 nights in hotel for wedding: $500

Wedding gift: $100

 

I’m sorry, but although it was an “honor” to stand up for my friend at the wedding, I would have been super peeved had she required me to pay for anything else like hair, makeup, or more parties. The above were just the basics.

I’m so turned off to this whole idea, I’m not having bridesmaids at all – I just don’t want to put anyone (or myself) through the trouble.

Post # 12
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I have tried to make my wedding as affordable for my bridesmaids as I could.  One is my daughter so I am paying for everything and the other is my best friend and I found her dress on sale for 27.95 (shipping included), she is wearing her own shoes, doing her own hair, we are getting our nails done together (I am paying).  I am not expecting any gifts from her as long as she is here for me that is my gift.

We are going out for a bach party but I expect to pay for my own drinks and all of my friends , including me, are chipping in for the bridal shower since I just wanted to have everyone get together and play games, I am not looking for gifts from any of them.

 

Post # 13
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I tried really hard to keep costs down. The girls picked their own dresses, prices ranging from $100-$300. I’m not sure who bought new shoes and who didn’t but I think most of them had gold shoes, they all got their hair and make up done but it was “optional” (I was like, come with me if you want, if not no worries). My shower was small (and at my sisters house) but I know they spent a lot on decorations and food. Even though I requested a bachlorette party to just go out to dinner they planned a night in atlantic city complete with dinner, a birthday cake for my b-day and vip seating/bottle service at a fun club.

In return I got them adorable Bebe clutches and sunglasses, I took all 7 to sunday brunch at the 4 seasons ( which was $800), treated everyone to room service the morning of the wedding (  breakfast, bloody mary’s, mimosas-which ran almost $200)  and paid for their valet parking at the hotel for friday/saturday nights, and billed all drinks to my room after our rehearsal dinner the Friday night before my wedding (for those who came back to the hotel). So I really feel like I made an effort to show them how much I appreciated everything, and I’m sure some still complain about how much they spent. My one friend had no idea I paid for the Friday night drinks, she just said she thought they weren’t charging us and thought valet was free b/c we were in a wedding. haha.

Post # 14
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@flamingred: Wow – you went all out for them. Can I be your bridesmaid? 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@MissBoston: haha. I started saving for bridesmaid stuff (seperatly) the second I was engaged. Luckily, it was an 18 month engagement!

Post # 16
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

@MissBoston: You and me both! I am scouring the sales site of JCrew to pick something that doesn’t bust the bank. In the $70 range I’d say. Silver shoes which I know my sisters have and that’s it. I don’t care about Bachelorette parties (which I never heard of before WB but then, I moved to America after high school so it’s a tradition I didn’t grow up with). Hair and make up optional. That’s it. I don’t want them to shell out that much money although they are my sisters and I know they can afford it, they are like me. Frugal as all get out!

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