(Closed) Interesting Conversation

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
46653 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We can’t assume from that conversation that she wasn’t fulfilled. Perhaps she didn’t REQUIRE it of him because she also was perfectly happy with the way things were.

Post # 4
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My SO is the love of my life and I couldnt imagine my life without him. But I as my own person want to get married and I know he does to… That is usually something you talk about when you decide to get serious or even just before you get to attached to the person , just like you ask ” do you ever want kids?”  Those are two things I made sure I asked my SO, so maybe those two had asked those questions at the beggining of the relationship and believe it or not there are some women out there that could care less if they get married or have children. I am definetly not one of them.

Post # 6
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

@julies1949: Agreed. I’m sure this person who you just met wasn’t giving you every detail of his 22 year relationship. We can’t just assume she was “waiting” or wasnt fulfilled. I’m sure it goes much, MUCH deeper than that.

Post # 7
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think she was/has been “waiting”. 22 Years is a long time – I feel if she didn’t feel fulfilled because she wasn’t married she would have voiced this to her SO and if it was something that was very important to her they either they would have gotten married or broken up. The fact that they remain together shows that she feels fulfilled in her relationship and marriage isn’t important or isn’t a deal breaker for her – at least IMO.

SO has an uncle that has been in a relationship for about 20 years and they never got married – it was a decision they both made and they are both very happy. And looking at his other aunts and uncles and also my own aunts and uncles (and both our parents) – they have all gotten divorced. So it’s really interesting to see that the relationship that lasted the longest was the one where they were not married.

Post # 8
Member
46653 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@armychica06: If she was unfulfilled waiting for a proposal for 22 years she has to accept responsibility for that. No one who truly wants to be married, should stay waiting for 22 years. If he hasn’t proposed by then, likely he never will.

Post # 11
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

I can understand being ok with never being married if you love your partner and how things are. I can see how that could still be fulfilling. I would worry about the legalities. Even if I was ok never getting married I would still want something from the courthouse. I would be devastated if something happened to my SO after 22 years of being together and I couldn’t see him at the hospital, etc. Granted, I know a lot of things can be taken care of with a power of attorney. But she has to be happy. No one in their right mind who wants marriage would ever wait for over 20 years.

Either way, interesting story 🙂

Post # 12
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@armychica06: Yes you are 100% right – I just think that if it were the case that she was waiting – she would have voiced it and it would have somewhat become a “requirement” – even if she eventually compromised. And then I would assume he would have told a different story – he wouldn’t have said it wasn’t a requirement of him. But I am making assumptions – I don’t know this person, so I don’t know how much information he would have given you on his relationship.

But yes, very interesting story! Let us know if you find out whether or not she was ever waiting.

 

 

 

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