(Closed) Interesting read on fat shaming

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Glades Pike Winery, Somerset, PA

I used to work in a clothing store that technically carried sizes 2-32, but catered strongly to plus-size women. (I’m a size 0-2P, for the record.) I cannot tell you the number of shitty things our customers said about my weight/body type, my managers actually got complaints for allowing me to work there. It was ridiculous.

That aside, what really stood out to me in this article was the part where she said that no one would be offended if a sales associate said to you that you needed a size smaller pants to fit you better — implying that saying the opposite would be offensive. This was the WORST for me. If a size 26 woman was trying on pants and needed a size bigger because she was having trouble buttoning them, I’d suggest it and go get her a size 28. Why is that offensive? I’m not trying to say, “HAHA LOOK AT YOU FAT COW YOU CAN’T FIT INTO A SIZE 26”, I’m simply trying to get her clothes that fit her body correctly.

And you know what? If a size 2 came into the store and tried on 00s and they were too small for her, I’d also tell her that she needed a bigger size. Is that also offensive? Most people wouldn’t think so, but why? I’m telling her the exact same thing: you need a bigger size than what you’re trying on right now. Simple as that.

It’s not a sales associate trying to comment subtlely on a person’s body weight; it’s us trying to do our job, to get you the clothes that fit you correctly and flatter you the most.

Ugh. I’m so glad I don’t work in retail anymore haha.

Post # 5
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t know if this is going to make any sense at all but;

as woman suffering from Anorexia this article almost had me in tears…that there can be so much shame associated with weight…

It is so sad.

The woman in the article was struggling with being overweight…but still the shame sounds eerily familiar to my (not very health) anorexic way of thinking.

Post # 6
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with some of the author’s points, but I think she is making a generalization based on her own experience that fat=unhealthy. And that doesn’t apply to everyone who is plus sized. I think plus sized women have a right to get offended if someone assumes they are unhealthy.

Post # 7
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I thought the article was interesting. I worked in women’s swimwear for a summer. We kept the plus size swimwear in a different area, and I HATED it. Having to tell a clearly happy confident woman that her swimwear was segregated and she was too big to shop in the “regular” section sucked. There was no kind way to do it, and I felt like such a b*tch everytime. You could tell it really hurt to hear. I have mixed feelings about fat-shaming but there are totally some unfair practices out there.

 

Post # 8
Member
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Very interesting article. I actually encountered something like this very recently, although I was on the other side of the coin.

I went into The Limited to look for a dress for my bridal shower. I pulled a few cute ones off the rack, looking only at the tag to determine the size (grabbed a few “Mediums” and size 4 dresses), then headed back into a fitting room.

I was SWIMMING in every single dress. I had to get the sales associate to bring me new sizes in every single style I tried on. Finally I settled on a cute dress in a size XS.

I am 5’9″ tall, weight 140 pounds, and I have size 10 feet. Nothing about me is EXTRA SMALL. I’m of slender build and always have been, but for real…not XS.

I cracked a joke about the sizing (good natured…I wasn’t upset) to the sales associate and (cue shitty tone):

“Yea, well this is really more of a womens store.”

Excuse me? No wonder people are frustrated.

Post # 9
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Good acticle, but agree with mswizard on this one too. I’m size 10, and when I worked in a clothing store I regulary got chewed out by plus size women because we didnt have their size. It was hard to order in different brands of plus size clothing because the designers would charge more for the plus sizes, so then we would have to charge a few dollars more. Or alot of the designers we carried just didnt make plus size clothing. I felt like it was very unfair for me or other girls to get yelled at because “we dont know what its like, or its so hard”. Or the best one? “Im not a REAL woman because REAL women are plus size”…..I honestly think it goes both ways, AND how come people always say “too skinny or to thin or your so tiny!” or make comments to people who are thin, but if you say something like that to a plus size girl, you would be an aweful person for pointing out her body…..

Post # 10
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsCarnival:  Off topic, but I was trying on dresses at H&M and they were all super short and didn’t work. I commented about it to the guy and he goes “Thats ’cause you’re so tall! But its okay to have height.” LOL. I’m 5’7”.

@batwoman:  Thaaaats some bullshit.

Post # 11
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Ashley_B:  Because the western ideal of beauty is tiny bodies.

Saying “you’re so skinny!” is meant to be a compliment, even if it doesn’t feel like it, or it comes from jealousy. Saying “You’re so fat!” is not meant to be complimentary. Ever.

How ’bout we don’t point out anything about people’s bodies?

Post # 12
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Interesting read. I will never understand why women like to put each other down. I cannot tell you how many judgemental conversations I have been the focus of because of what I eat. I am not preachy in real life about my diet and still whenever I decline certain foods at parties or when I’m out with friends I’ll have people that know me make comments and tell me I need to eat a cheeseburger because I’m so skinny. I’m not Skinny. I’m a healthy and happy PERSON.

Post # 13
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Roe:  That would be nice!!! But some people take the “your so skinny” as an insult. I never say anything because I have an aunt who…well we arnt sure what is wrong with, has some sort of disorder in her stomach and digestive tract, and has lost a stupid amount of weight, and is sick. And when people point it out it really bothers her.

Or when I worked in retail, one girl was trying on clothes, and someone mentioned to her she should “eat something because shes too skinny”. And she almost burst into tears.

Post # 14
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Ashley_B:  I get that it can be offensive on both sides (I’ve been told that I’m anorexic before, and I used to have an eating disorder, they meant it as a compliment) but the reason that it is perceived differently from telling someone that they are fat is because larger society tells us that we should be thin.

I think most comments like “OMG, you’re anorexic!” or “You’re so skinny!” or “Eat something!” come from a place of admiration or jealousy, whereas “You’re so fat!” (from some terrible person who would say that) would come from a place of criticizing or disgust.

Not to say that skinny girls don’t have a right to be annoyed when someone comments on their size (they do,) but there is a difference.

Post # 15
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ugh…I worked in high-end retail for a few years in college. The worst was a HUSBAND who got in my face and berated me for suggesting that his wife try on a dress a size larger for a better fit. He called me dumb and blind, because there’s “no way” his wife wears a size 8. That poor woman!

Post # 16
Member
10571 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’m not a big person, but I have had someone suggest the smaller size and it made me feel not so great!

I was about to grab 2 sizes, but the girl said they fit large, so I would probably need to go down a size.  Nope – I needed to go up!  The store catered to people younger than me though (great place to get cheap causual capris if you can fit into them!) so it didn’t really upset me.

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