(Closed) Interesting thought from our officiant….

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

My mom made it clear that the wedding was about her “allowing” my husband and I to get married. And she still hasn’t let go!

Sorry…a little bitter over here about it :o)

Post # 4
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

From my experience and observations..I feel like marriage is about the parents letting their sons go.  It seems much harder for a mom to let her little boy go, than a mom to let her little girl go.  Just my 2 cents.

Post # 6
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You know my Fiance said something similiar to this.  I didn’t want a big fancy wedding and he said you know, I think this is our chance to tell everyone thank you for their influence on our lives.  I hadn’t thought of it in that way.  So now when I look at the cost/time of something I think this is my way of saying thank you to aunt betty who take care of me as a tot.

Post # 7
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Disagree.. As close as families are, no one really owns another person, even their children. If the ceremony was about letting go of your kids, you would do it when the person turns 18, and it’d be the mom desperately grabbing for their son in front of everyone, and not a couple exchanging their vows to each other. I think it’s respectful to keep your parents in mind for your ceremony, but it’s not about them.

Maybe your officiant is coming from a more cultural perspective. for me it doesn’t hold up, as much as I love our parents. 😛

Post # 8
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree that this is often the case, which is why we are compromising on things we really didn’t want to, re: the guest list (it’s getting way bigger than we ever wanted, which means ix nay on one of the venues we wanted) and a church blessing (neither of us believes in God.) 

The only reason we make these sacrifices is to show we care and are grateful for their support!

Post # 9
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

Haha fi’s parents need to be locked in a room with your officiant…maybe a word or two of his will get through their heads!  My parents are excited and handling everything wonderfully, but I totally agree with Marlew on this one.  Fi’s parents are NOT handling anything about our relationship/marriage very well.

Post # 11
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i think my parents will be sobbing messes on the day of my wedding. not that they dont love my hubby to be, but because for them, it truly is the day their “little girl” is growing up… to start a family of her own.

Post # 12
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I disagree for the most part. I think we have to keep our parents & family in mind & be considerate of them, however I do not believe that a marriage or ceremony is about the parents in any way. We’re not even doing the mothers, unity candles, etc.

We absolutely keep them in mind and concede to certain things. If it were up to me I’d be barefoot on a beach somewhere in a white eyelet sundress but because of our parents we’ll be in full garb at a hotel ballroom. At the end of the day, Fiance & I will be married and that’s all that really matters to me. And I think that’s what it’s all about.

Post # 13
Member
690 posts
Busy bee

While I obviously see the significance in the day for parents, I definitely disagree that it is the main point. I could ‘leave’ my parents by moving out, etc. 

While my parents are VERY involved in the planning of the day, and a large portions of our guests will really be their friends- I would be pretty offended if they tried to make it all about them.  To me, my relationship with my future husband is quite separate from my relationship with my parents.

Post # 14
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think my parents see it more as this than his parents do. 

Post # 15
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

For my family this is NOT the case! I have been living alone independently without my family for over 8 years. I have lived with my Fiance now for 4.5 years and we have owned a house for 2.5 years. When we moved in together we became a “family” and our parents knew this and respected this. However, we had both been totally independent from our families for 4 years at this time. 

Our wedding really is a celebration of our union.

Post # 16
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My Mama made it clear that it is our Marriage and their Party/Wedding. She has been saying that since we first got engaged and I think she is serious. LOL

I they are having a hard time with the fact that I may be moving away to a different state so I am not really being too hard on them.

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