(Closed) Interesting WP question my mom brought up…

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I was wondering about this because my best friend is having her wedding 3 hrs away and I am her Maid/Matron of Honor.

With paying for a dress, shower and bach party I know I wont be able to afford paying for a night at the place she picked. I didnt want to just flat out ask her if she is paying for a night there so good question!!! lol

Post # 4
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I have heard of this, but I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man at a wedding in the BVI & I paid my own way!

I don’t think this rule is followed much anymore, but if one of my BMs or Groomsmen couldn’t afford to find accommodations I would figure something out for them 🙂 Actually now that I think about it– we’ll probably end up paying for a room for our best man & his family. They’re traveling a LONG way to get to the wedding… it’s the least we could do.

Post # 5
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

well, since it’s just my sister and she’s staying in my room i am (more like my dad is). the only other people aren’t staying at a hotel, it’s my fi’s brother and he’s staying at his parent’s. but i’ve never heard of that and i don’t think that you should have to or it’s expected.

Post # 6
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think it just depends on how familiar they are with the area.  For instance, two of my bridesmaids are from out of town, but they have families here to stay with.  Same with some other friends who we will be inviting…. they all used to live here/have family and friends still here. 

My aunt and uncle, on the other hand, are not from here and have actually only been here a few times.  My parents would just host them (obviously), but they have a small house, so they want to pay for her and my uncle to stay at a hotel.

Post # 7
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I have not heard this. Our attendants are all siblings except for FI’s Groomswoman and her husband. They are paying their own way– we could not afford to pay for them or anyone else on our budget!

Post # 8
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu

This wouldn’t work out so well for me since we’re Destination Wedding, so we aren’t having any attendents…but if I can I’m going to at least pitch in on rooms for my really close friends since I know they will be paying a fortune to fly out.

Post # 9
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I had never heard of/thought about this. I don’t know what we are going to do. My Fiance is from a different state than where our wedding is going to be and most of his gm are from out of state as well. I guess we would be able to cover the cost of a hotel room for the night for the guys. That would be a nice thing to do.

Post # 10
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’ve been a bridesmaid in 3 weddings so far.  Two of the times, the girls let me stay at their house or at their parent’s and that was a really nice gesture.  We’re going to do that for my BMs.  However, if they have to stay at a hotel, then it’s completely fine to make your BMs pay for it.  That’s what we’ve done for the 5 (!!) weddings that my Fiance has been in over the past 2 years.  And some of the hotels were really expensive.  It’s just part of the deal.  We always did share a room with another groomsman and his SO though, so that helped.

Post # 11
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I Have heard of this “rule” but I don’t know anyone who has followed it recently!

If they are not OK with staying in the hotel they are more than welcome to stay at my house in the city (we will be in the hotel)!

Post # 12
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve never heard of this.  Its apparently not followed that closely anymore.

Post # 13
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

if they are single, the girls whose weddings ive been on got a room or two for us all to share…

Post # 15
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I wish this was a rule!  I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my cousin’s wedding and she sent out an email to all her BMs giving info about hotel blocks telling us to book soon because it’s a holiday weekend.  I called and it’s $115 a night.  I’m Out of Town so I have to stay the night of the rehersal and wedding.  $230 on top of my flights, dress, shoes, hair, nails, bridal shower, and gifts.  Man, I’m going to be broke. 🙂

Post # 16
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Yes, I’ve heard of this rule, it’s in etiquette books and we are following it and putting the Out of Town Groomsmen up for both nights: rehearsal dinner and wedding nights.

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