Post # 1
hey guys! i just wanted to know everyones opinion on this matter im currently facing.
I’m Indian, and my boyfriend is Indian too. We however come from different religious backgrounds. I am a Hindu, he is Christian. We want to get married without me having to convert. He is very understanding and says he will not force me to do anything I don’t want to do. His mother however, wants me to convert as it will make the process more easier. My boyfriend says his mother is very religious and thats why she is asking me to convert. I’ve stated that I don’t want to convert because I don’t feel the need to change my entire religion just to marry him. I would like to marry him without having to do any of this. My family also would not be happy if i chose to convert, but thats not the why I am saying I dont wanna convert. I just don’t feel comfortable doing it.
Anybody ever had experience with anything like this? Is there anyway for us to get married without this? I feel like this is causing tension in our families too.
Post # 2
Of course you don’t have to convert. You can have a secular officiant marry you or even many Christian officiants would happily marry you without you needing to convert.
Post # 3
Are you in the US? Anyone can marry you. The only reason converting would “make it easier” is if you’re getting married in a Christian church. But otherwise it makes no difference. Hire any officiant for your wedding. A friend or family member could even get ordained online easily and then they can marry you.
Post # 4
Go elope at a court house.
Post # 5
yep we are. born and raised lol.
Post # 6
nnxo : Then do an awesome interfaith wedding!! No need for a church, unless it is one that is open to your interfaith marriage.
Post # 7
Is your fiance Catholic? If yes, then there is no requirement by the church that you convert in order to marry.
I am in a similar situation to you – I’m Hindu and my fiance is Catholic and I will also not be converting. Both of our families respect our decisions (though I can tell you my parents are a bit paranoid that I’ll convert after the wedding. Not gonna happen).
I think the main thing here is that your fiance needs to support you against his mother. Whatever expectations she may have, she is not a part of your marriage. The wedding is about YOU and your fiance. If you are both happy with your decision not to convert then she needs to respect that and butt out. Since you are in the states, there are many people who can marry you outside of the church (and maybe even in the church) whether it be a civil or an interfaith ceremony.
Post # 8
You absolutely do not need to convert in order to marry a Christian in the United States. His mother’s wishes mean nothing here–you’re not marrying her. And she’s obviously making up this “easier process” thing, likely because she dislikes the fact that you don’t share her religion. Ignore her hogwash and stay true to yourself.
Post # 9
depends on which church u r in. in the catholic church, there’s no need to convert. globally, the catholic partner needs to fill up a request form to marry a non-Catholic (usually the priest would be the one to help u with it). but if u r in other denominations… might need to consult local christians of the same denomination to figure out what’s the church’s stand is like when it comes to the issue on conversion.
just a quick question, ru ok to have your future kids baptised? this is a key question to be answered. if u don’t mind, then shouldn’t be an issue really. xx
Post # 10
I’m Indian also. Born and raised in the states. My ex was raised Episcopalian but was non-practicing. We were married by a Unitarian minister in a secular service. That wasn’t an issue. THe issue was ex for years wouldn’t come clean to his parents about his lack of religion and would use me and my non-Christianity as an excuse for not going to church. Obviously, it caused lots of tension in the marriage and with his parents. After DS1 was born, I refused to let him be baptized bc my ex didn’t want him baptized but didn’t want to say anything to his family I got upset and made ex be honest with his family, and things got better
If your fi is going to stick up for you and the religious differences, it shouldn’t be an issue. Please make sure you two are on the same page as far as religion and raising kids.
Post # 11
FWIW, Fiance is a non practicing Catholic. We are in agreement about religion and are being married by a friend in a secular service. Fiance has always stuck up for me with his religious mother.
Post # 12
nnxo : His mum is wrong to even have an opinion about this. It’s NONE of her business.
Religion is a very personal choice! Don’t convert unless you 100% wish to convert!! I’m a Roman Catholic marrying a Born Again Christian. I wouldn’t dream of suggesting my Fiance convert, and neither would he.
We’ve talked about religion several times and he asked if he could attend Mass with me this weekend to see what it was about. I didn’t push this on him. (We’ve been together 12 years. He only got curious this year. I am not interested in attending the service his family attends. Which is fine!)
Your partner should firmly tell his mom to mind her own business and never bring it up again. Your religion, and the religion of your children (should you have any) are NOT her business. She is overstepping big time.
Post # 13
His mother wants you to convert. Good thing you are not going to marry her. Your future husband does not care if you conver so you should not. Of course you can get married and keep your faith. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise.
Post # 14
Ugh, I’m sorry this is happening to you! My Fiance is Hindu and I’m Christian (he’s Indian and I’m white). However, niether of us are very religious (don’t go to church/temple regularly, open to other ideas, etc.). We are going to have a Hindu ceremony because it’s important to his parents, and I don’t feel the need to have a separate Christian ceremony since none of my family attends church anymore and I am happier to have one ceremony! My family wouldn’t dream of asking my Fiance to convert. However, if your Future Mother-In-Law is a strict, conservative Christian I can see that happening. I grew up in a very strict church and I imagine she believes that Christianity is the only true religion and that marrying a non-believer would be bad for her son. Remember that your belief system, traditions, etc. are just as valid as your FI’s. In fact, I think Hinduism is more peaceful and I cringe to think of some of the things Christians have done throughout history. I would love for my future children to learn about both religions; it would be wonderful for them to go to the temple with their grandparents and learn to meditate. Your Future Mother-In-Law probably thinks that her son’s and future grandchildren’s salvation is at stake, but hopefully she will see that your Fiance respects your religion and will come to accept it as well.
Post # 15
I’m Sikh and my fiance is Christian, but why does his mother want you to convert?? How will it make the process easier?
Im having a Sikh wedding and a Church wedding. I havent been asked to convert by anyone from the church or his family. Everyones happy that we are doing it both ways.
Youre not marrying his mum, don’t do anything youre not happy with!!