Post # 1
So, in the midst of wedding glamour and silly decision making, I find myself coming up to these very real and very honest “WAKE UP” sessions. I can only describe these as times when the font on the save the dates, really is not hitch to my “happily ever after” and the important part of this entire mess is KNOWING that without his love and our loyalty to one another, non of this would have ever happened. Although I am guilty of using my puppy eyes to try to talk him into the pretty little necklace that would just go smashingly well with my gorgeous gown, I am proud to say that I know, given no dress no vendors, no drink or food or even a single person standing near us to ask if “we do”… we would! We would marry anywhere, and have actually considered just driving up the street to the courthouse, blow off the families and just be hubby and wife! BUT, we both want our day to set aside and celebrate one another’s pledge to join our families. NOW TO GET TO THE SUBJECT OF THIS POST:
While the hustle and bustle of married life hangs temptingly and anxiously in front of my eyes, I cannot stop myself from thinking about our family, our little nook in this earth, together. So far our children consist of an 8-month Golden retriever puppy and a 1-year-old gray kitty, our house feels loud and homey J I want to have a child together with my Man-to-be, but cannot and never have been able, to shake off the willingness and WANT to adopt a child. My only reference is that the child be from Africa. Now, I have read and read and then read some more after reading a little more about this process, and not only the process but the shuffle of whispers and the loud and proud protests that are surrounding the topic of interracial adoption. My attempt would never be to “take” this child away from their heritage. I can see the selfishness in ways of those who only view adoption as a “way out” for the child. Simply, somewhere, a child was born. And in that simplicity they have an opportunity in this life, no matter where they are. I want to be apart of a child’s opportunity, and I would never forget to understand the lengths that child took to come to me, as I for them.
So what is your view on this topic? Have you adopted? Do you know anyone who is adopted? Do you approve of interracial adoptions?
Post # 3
@Jessoverall: My parents adopted my brother..he is caucasian as is the rest of our family though, so no international adoption here. In general it is MUCH easier to adopted younger children from a different country if you can get past all the paperwork. My parents were in the adoption process for baby nationally for 10 years…so it takes quite a bit of time. I dont know how someone could be against international adoption really and I dont know if anyone has the view of “white mans burden” anymore regarding this issue, if you know what I mean.
Post # 4
We are in the early stages of adopting domestically. Personally I’m for adoption of any means. No one can tell you how or where to build your family. International adoption is stressful mentally and financially but so is domestic adoption, there just maybe more of a burden with travel and finances. I’ll be perfectly honest too bc Darling Husband and I have had this conversation and it saddened me; I’m for interracial adoption and see no color. However, I know my inlaws and I know for a fact that if we did an interracial adoption, our child would be treated different. It’s horrible and I’m sad but I refuse to put an innocent child through that, so we will not be doing an interracial adoption. FWIW my Boyfriend or Best Friend growing up was an adopted child in an interracial family and it never bothered her nor did she see any difference.
Post # 5
I very much would like to adopt eventually, here in the Uk ther have been a few legislation changes regarding interacial adoption over the last few decades. we have finally come to a point which i agree with the law, any child would benifit more from a loving home than the care system imaterial of the race of the parents who are adopting. A child needs love regardless of their race and that love can not come from a childrens home. I think what you are doing is great. In the Uk even though the laws have changed black children are still more likely to remain in care than white children and this rate is increased if the child is a boy. I say go for it LOVE IS LOVE and thats what u are offering x
Post # 6
My aunt and her husband adopted 3 babies from Russia ~15 years ago. I believe they could have adopted in the US, but they went to Russia and saw the deplorable conditions in the orphanages there and just couldn’t imagine leaving some of those children behind. I believe there were a ton of hoops to jump through, but my former uncle makes a lot of money/is in politics, so that probably helped. I believe the whole process from start to finish took around 3 years, but they were extremely proactive. I love my cousins and couldn’t imagine life without them! Because of this I will always support international adoption, or any adoption in general. All three will be in our wedding next year. This wasn’t an interracial adoption (all 3 are blonde hair blue eyes), but even if it was, I would support it all the same.
Post # 7
I am completely for adoption whether it be interracial/international or not. I feel a great burden to adopt. My family has added to its numbers thru adoption for seven generations now. I am open to adopting from Africa or anywhere else. I think your desire is a great thing. Children are children and all orphans deserve a family 🙂
Post # 8
My Uncle and his partner adopted two boys from Guatamala and my family is caucasian. They have had no issues concerning interracial problems as far as I know. The only thing I think that has been mentioned was when my cousin was a baby. His hair grew so much faster than anyone else and it stuck straight up on his head. So cute! My Fiance and I want to adopt at least one child someday too. We plan on adopting within the US, but we won’t care what ethnicity the child is.
Post # 10
I’m adopted, and while I’m the same ethnicity as my parents and am from the same area, I’m all for it. In any way, shape, or form. Some child, somewhere, was meant for you. Nothing else matters.
Post # 11
I have a very dear friend who adpoted two brothers( 6 and 8 at the time) from this country while she was a single Mom. It has its set of problems but honestly so does raising a child of your own blood. My feeling is that a child is a child, no matter what country they are from, what color their skin, what language they speak. EVERY CHILD deserves to be loved. If your heart is thinking this way I encourage you to seek more information. For my friend it was the best thing she ever did. She was a 43 year old divorced woman living life alone. She adopted these boys because they needed her but quite frankly she needed them too. Since that time 3 years ago, she met the man of her dreams and they married a couple of months ago. She now is a happily married woman with 6 children (he had four already) Wow how life can change when you follow your heart. If you go this direction seek out groups provived by the adpotion agencies these will tell VERY honestly what to REALLY expect. Good luck in both your marriage and family choices!
Post # 12
My only worry with adopting children from developing countries is that sometimes the babies/children arent really up for adoption, they are just snatched, stolen or forced away from their parents to meet the demand. If the child being adopted was actually given up willingly by their parents then thats fine by me.
Post # 13
Bees, thank you so much for your input, support, and stories. Each of you has moved me, and I only feel even more impowered by my choices. I thank you all for your time, and please, lets continue this discussion! For any who have an opinion or have been or know someone who is adopted, continue your story here.
Post # 14
I agree with a PP, do your research. International adoption is rife with corruption.
This is a book that was just published, but the website is a good source of some investigative material related to international adoption
Post # 15
Fiance and I want to have our “own” children, that is biological, but also would want to adopt. Though I have no problems with interracial adoptions at all, we most likely will be adopting a child who looks like they could be part of our biological family. Not certainly domestic, but someone who doesn’t look like they don’t belong. Of course if we fall in love with a specific child, it doesn’t matter race or ethnicity, but I don’t think we would actively seek to adopt outside our race, just because I personally feel there is a cultural thing that being a southern white girl, I just don’t get and wouldn’t want to put a child into the mix of not totally fitting into the “white” group that Fiance and I and our bio children will be, and not fitting into their own biological race because they are being raised in a “white” culture.
My sister has 2 nephews (two VERY white parents) who were adopted from India and they have no issues. I think adopting is an incredible thing, no matter how it happens.
Post # 16
My cousin is Chinese and my aunt and uncle adopted her as a baby. They were unable to have children of their own. They have done an incredible job of making sure my cousin is aware of her background, where exactly she’s from, and they have found people from the same province to teach her the dialect. She’s done little projects at home about her birth culture and loves talking about China.
Adoption in any form is, IMO, a good thing. Do your research and go through a reputable agency, though.