Post # 1
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
I am white and my fiance is black… and based on my pic I am sure you guessed that lol Anyway my issue is my fiance wants to jump the broom… and I am fine with that… heres the catch…we are getting married by a white pastor… and my fiance wants this read…
We end this ceremony with the African American tradition of jumping of the broom. Slaves in this country were not permitted to marry, so they jumped a broom as a way of ceremonially uniting. Today it represents great joy and at the same time serves as a reminder of the past and the pain of slavery.
As our bride and groom jump the broom, they physically and spiritually cross the threshold into the land of matrimony. It marks the beginning of making a home together. It symbolizes the sweeping away of the old and the welcoming of the new; the sweeping away all negative energy, making way for all things that are good to come into your lives. It is also a call of support for the marriage from the entire community of family and friends. The bride and groom will now begin their new life together with a clean sweep!
With this being read the way it is I feel like I might offend somebody… I don’t want to be disrespectful. Some of his family has a big problem with our relationship… and it caused a lot of drama in the past. I am trying to avoid any future issues… would it be better if we skipped the last line of the first paragraph?
Post # 3
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
@kendorah: meh i’m black my SO is white. I want to jump the broom. If people get offended by history it is a them problem, not a you problem. If, however, it bothers you to have this in the ceremony you need to discuss it with your SO sooner than later.
Post # 4
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
I worried about the wording of what he wants said… It is his wedding too and thats the only thing he asked for! would it be wrong to just omit … Today it represents great joy and at the same time serves as a reminder of the past and the pain of slavery… and keep the rest?
Post # 5
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
@kendorah: I see what your saying … Change the word slaves and I think it becomes less offensive. If its important to hubby to be then its worth tweaking a little.
Post # 6
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I think it’s fine without that one sentence. Everyone still gets the idea. Does your Fiance though?
Post # 7
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
My sisters husband is black and they did the jumpiof of the broom, they just said something about starting a new life together and then jumped! Our side of the family had never seen anything like this so we were amused but I definitely think some people would have been shocked not amused if there was slavery talk. I say keep it short and sweet, less chance of offending someone
Post # 8
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
@kendorah: idk, why is slaves offensive? perhaps you and him need to have a race talk. I had mine with my so at month two so he doesnt find reality offensive anymore. perhaps you need some of the black perspective.
Post # 9
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
One of the reasons Jews break the glass is to remind them even at one joyous points in their lives, they must also mourn the distruction of the temple…I feel like it’s kind of similar.
I personally don’t see a problem and am not offended. However, if it’s really an issue, I would talk to your Fiance now… but if he wants to leave it in, I think just leave it.
Post # 10
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
The problem might come from some of his family they don’t like me because I am white… he’s got a i dont care what people think attitude… I think we might just skip it… but I do want to jump the broom…how it is fair to do all of my traditions and skip his? :/
Post # 11
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
I doubt they be offended by it. If they don’t like you, they probably be offended my your smile, you breathing, you wearing a dress, basically they just make up reasons not to like you.
What your Fi posted if factually accurate and I can’t see a reason why it needs to be omitted, although I can get why it feels weird to do it as an interracial couple. Maybe a fair compromise would be cutting that part out if you really makes you uncomfortable.
Post # 12
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
@kendorah: I’ll have to agree with PP: have the celebrant say, “Now Mr. Kendorah and Mrs. Kendorah celebrate their passing into married life (or whatever) by jumping the broom.” Jump the broom. Celebrate!
As for his family not liking you based on your skin color, I know where you’re coming from. My mom is Asian and my dad is black. Both sides did not like the union. However, if you two really, really love each other…it’s just going to have to be something they get over. Sorry. Once mom and dad had us, they simmered considerably.
Let him have his one thing. Just tweak what is said before you jump the broom with him. Maybe you could have something in your program about the traditions in the ceremony. Have a little explanation about jumping the broom in there?
Post # 13
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
If his family already doesn’t like you because you are white, who cares if they don’t like the wording? It’s not going to change their opinions of you no matter what wording you use. Do whatever makes both of you happy! It’s your day not theirs.
Post # 14
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
@sealevels: Thats a really good idea! Thank you! Future Mother-In-Law loves me! she isnt the problem… its one of his aunties. we just avoid her and I don’t go to family functions. By my own choice… and that works for now lol
Post # 15
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
@kendorah: Oh, you’re welcome! I hope that she just gets over it once you’re married. I mean, you’re his lady now and will definitely be so once married. It’s not the 50s, she’s going to have to deal. 🙂
You shouldn’t have to avoid family functions because of one prejudice lady. :/
Post # 16
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
@TwoCityBride: i think she is more uncomfortable with it than her guest. so she should cut it but also learn to come to terms with race issues before bringing children into the world.
