Post # 32
One of my daughters has been dating someone who is African American (from dad) and white (from his mom). They are young but pretty serious. I read your post and can tell you that I would not be offended if it was read at my daughter’s wedding. I don’t believe any of my family members or friends would be either. If you are truly worried, I would suggest that you remove the one sentence as others have already suggested – however, I don’t think that it’s necessary. It’s unfortunate that you even have to worry about this but I know that there are still some people who disapprove of a “mixed” marriage. I think you should just do what makes the two of you happy!
Post # 33
@kendorah: also the statement of ‘living above’ race really bothers me as a minority in an interracial marriage. honestly. . . if my husband told me he wanted to ‘live above’ race when we were dating or engaged,that would have been a HUGE red flag.
Race IS important in American life. it shouldn’t neccesarily be,but it IS and to ignore that, just because you as a Caucasian woman have the privilege of ‘living above’ it, doesn’t mean that your future husband, or your children (as someone else mentioned) will be so fortunate.
acknowledging racial issues and being willing to tackle them head-on, doesn’t mean you’re letting them run your life. it means you’re *fighting* as a family, TOGETHER, for the strength and dignity and acknowledgement that our country has historically tended to deny people of color.
Post # 34
@hellorebecca: ooo I hate the word caucasian… its just a weird word and too politically correct for me lol I really appreciate your input… I wasn’t so much looking for a white perspective on this matter as i am white myself lol. You have some really good ideas that I would’ve never thought of! and by living above I meant racism not our races. I live in Detroit… in the hood, I am the only white person in our neighborhood, We get stares a lot. It doesn’t bother me, but it bothers him. People make comments to him about being with a white girl, they call him a traitor stuff. I am treated differently sometimes, I ran into a grocery store once and actually have been asked to leave by the owner, she told me she doesn’t serve white bitches… but I feel like our relationship would never work if we worried what people think of us. I wasn’t raised to disrespect people. I believe race is too much of an issue in this country and for no reason… sometimes it makes me embarrased to be white, I don’t want people to see me as just a another privledged white girl, which I am not, I worked very hard to get where I am in life, and I aint got shit lol And my parents worked hard for what I had growing up, and at 16 they stopped providing me with what I wanted, and made me get a job if I wanted a new pair of jeans I had to buy it myself…I really do appreciate your candidness
Post # 35
I read all the posts and we all have a different outlooks on a sentence. I dont see why you think they would be offended by the sentence when it is factual. Whenever we speak of our history it does make others feel uncomfortable but that does not mean that it shouldnt be mentioned.
It makes others uncomfortable when I am in public with an Italian/Irish American soldier and I am Black American/Cherokee. Does that mean we should stay in the house because it makes others feel uncomfortable???
You are marrying into a culture that has been seen by society as second class for over 200 years so we take pride in our struggle and the fact that we have overcome so many adversities. You are not of the culture so you dont really understand what it means to him as a Black man. That was not said to make you feel uncomfortable because you dont understand.
When we as a race overcome we all celebrate we all carry our history on our faces they are not hidden and we deal with issues that you would never have in your life. Every chance we get to appreciate the ones that paved the way we do.
My Fiance is a soldier and has been in the military of 24 years and he has gained his knowledge and understanding by experience. He has lived with every culture under the sun in close quarter for years on combat tours and he himself received first hand knowledge of our struggles by the men he served with.
He said when you truly understand the struggle you can help but to see things differently. Knowledge is power.
One of post said “if you think it will offend take it out…it is a little thing” that is a clear indication that they dont see the importance of the statement.
Post # 36
- Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center
No part of that seems inappropriate. Omitting it reeks of fear. Just do it. To hell with everyone else
Post # 37
We did it and it was one of the highlights of our wedding! Here’s the thing: if they can sit through 15 seconds where race is mentioned, what re they doing at an interracial wedding! Do it and enjoy!!! Mazel tov!!