Post # 1
Im planning on having a kind of non-traditional wedding (format-wise) and want to see if anyone else is doing something similar or could offer an opinion on how it might work out. My idea is to have a very small (probably immediate family only) church ceremony and then invite everyone (all friends and family) to a destination for a reception/celebration a few months later.
There are several reasons for this. One is the fact that my family happens to be travelling to the state where my fiance lives, and where the priest who we would like to perform our ceremony is, this summer and we would like to piggyback on that — but that is sooner then we would like to plan a full wedding. Furthermore, I have always wanted a beach destination wedding so that I can be relaxed and spend more time with the guests who are close enough to me to travel for me (I don’t like big crowds and all eyes on me). Any thoughts or guidance? I also need to figure out how to announce the destination plan to everyone.
Post # 2
I just want to make sure I understand correctly – small, immediate family church wedding at home, and then reception a few months later at a destination? Right?
Personally, I wouldn’t attend the destination reception because at that point I feel like I’m just going on a vacation and there is an party during it. Thats what you are asking, for them to go on vacation with you. Which is essentially what a Destination Wedding is, but with a ceremony. I think the ceremony is what would make a difference I most people’s eyes if they were on the fence in considering. People are selective on how they spend their vacation time and money, I probably wouldn’t spend mine on this even if you were an immediate family member or best friend. And FWIW, I was a Destination Wedding bride and had my wedding in Mexico.
Post # 3
- Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek
Yea no. Sounds like your suggesting a group vacation at a destination of your choosing which would not be worth my time, money or effort and seems really unnecessary. Since you don’t like eyes on you or crowds why not stick with the intimate church wedding then simply go out to dinner after and be done?
Post # 4
If it was somewhere I wanted to go/could get time off/reasonably priced i’d consider it, but I love a vacation. I wouldn’t have any qualms about declining otherwise though. I’d certainly make more of an effort for an actual wedding, but less so for a destination reception. You can’t guarantee that just because people are close to you they’ll want to travel for this.
Post # 5
I would go to a destination wedding for close family or friends if I was witnessing the ceremony. I wouldn’t travel somewhere for a party unless I just happened to want to go to that specific place anyway and could make a vacation out of it.
Post # 6
jessieom : “I have always wanted a beach destination wedding so that I can be relaxed and spend more time with the guests who are close enough to me to travel for me” — By “close enough to travel for you”, do you mean close enough to feel OBLIGATED to travel for you? That’s an entitled way to look at it. I would never think of anyone as “close enough to travel for me.” Someone’s ability to travel has more to do with their budget, their PTO, their work’s cycle of busy vs slow time, their kids’ school calendar, their kids’ soccer schedule, how many rounds of chemo their mom’s gonna need, whether their transmission decides this is the year to conk out, other vacations they’ve been planning for or waiting for an opportune time to plan for, a hundred other things going on in their life. I would never ask someon to travel for me or judge our relationship by whether they were both willing and able to travel for me, which is what “close enough to travel for me” sounds like. If they love you enough that they would feel obligated to, you should love them enough not to ask them to.
Post # 7
Not using limited work leave to go on a group vacation not of my choosing to not see someone get married. I can not see you get married for free at home and spend my vacation doing what I want when I want with whomever I want.
Post # 8
I’d also feel like this was more of a group vacation and that, as a guest, I’d be far more inclined to make the effort to travel if it were for the wedding itself. I like PP’s suggestion of sticking with the church ceremony and going to a dinner afterword. Considering your love of the beach, I’d say doing something beachy or tropical for your honeymoon, or to get an intimate group involved: suggesting it as a family or friend group vacation later on without tying it to your wedding?
Post # 9
“Come pay lots of money to travel to a party to celebrate the wedding I didn’t invite you to!” is what I hear when you say you want an “intimate wedding” and a “destination reception.” Nope.
Post # 10
I think the only way for this to work is if you’re paying for everyone’s flights and accommodations.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t travel a large distance just to go to a party, sorry.
And I agree with a PP’s comments about celebrating with people who are close enough to travel for you, it’s not always that simple. I have real difficulty with travelling because of medical issues. If a family member had a destination wedding, chances are I’d have to decline anyway, and I’d be really upset if they then thought I didn’t come because I wasn’t close enough to them to make the effort to celebrate with them. People have all sorts of things going on in their lives which you don’t always know about, how much they love you isn’t necessarily going to be a factor in whether they’ll travel for you.
Post # 12
I don’t really get why you don’t just have a beach destination wedding? It sounds like you’d only want a fairly small number of close friends and family at that anyway, and if they are close enough to you to travel, why not close enough to actually witness the ceremony?
Post # 13
The only way I’m traveling for a not-a-wedding beach party is if DJ Kygo or Calvin Harris is spinning.
Post # 14
I dislike most actual destination weddings. There’s even less chance I’d travel for a destination delayed reception.
Post # 15
Sorry but no, I would not attend.