(Closed) intro and (tiny) Frustrated rant

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Welcome!! I don’t think you should be kicking your self for  ‘caving in’ in regards to moving in together.  I met my wonderful SO on Eharmony and we bought a house together this past January.  I have a 3 yr old daughter who has a ‘deadbeat’ father…my SO loves and adores her like his own.  I don’t feel bad that we are living together but not engaged yet.  I know it will happen in the next few months (we are waiting until some court/custody issues are resolved with my ex).  I am 36 and have been in about 5 long term (2+ years) relationships…I know without question that he is the man I have been looking for and that my daughter and I deserve. 

You said he gave you a promise ring around xmas time…that was way over 4 months ago.  You need to let him know what your plans are for moving out in April…hopefully he is on the same page as you! Good luck!!

Post # 5
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Personally living together really puts things into perspective whether you can actually live and be with this guy forever so I don’t think you made a mistake at ALL.

Heck – It’s even more important to find out these things if you have been in a LDR, and to make 100%sure he is the one you want to marry and introduce to your child as a stepfather.

Post # 6
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Welcome- hope you see progress soon!

Post # 7
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I met my Fiance on plenty of fish 🙂  Since the day we met we have spent 5 days apart, (because I had to go to Ohio for a funeral). I had never lived with a guy before and within a month I was completely living with him. He took me to Costa Rica! A year later he proposed and we moved here to Kauai. That was a year ago tomorrow! I think you should definitely live with someone before. I am pretty old fashioned when it comes to certain things, but you want to test drive the car before you buy it! BUT, you should be happy with your decision. 

Post # 8
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hey. I think its great your looking out for your son, thats your number one job. It sounds like the only reason you dint want to live together without a commitment is because you dont want your son to be confused about things, and thats honorable. But I dont think you should be kicking yourself. I think its important to live together before marriage etc, just so you know what your “getting into” and you can get that living together chemistry down. 4 months isnt to long so I wouldnt be on him yet. It could take him longer than that to save up for the ring. 

Post # 9
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

I met my SO on match.com.  🙂

 

I agree with the concept of living together first as long as you both are in agreement that the relationship is eventually headed towards marriage.  Which is where it sounds like you’re headed.

Don’t beat yourself up.  Now, after a year and no proposal, then I would start to bug him.  But not yet!!!

 

 

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