(Closed) Introducing my boyfriend to a tough clique of friends…any advice?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5220 posts
Bee Keeper

@marie_antoinette:  That’s a toughie but they’re all adults, and I’m sure your SO understands that crushes happen. I just say take him and relax– let him be himself and don’t try to put too much analysis on it. 

Post # 4
Member
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Don’t sweat it. Let your bf be his awesome self, and if they don’t like him–them meh. Their loss. As long as your bf doesn’t do anything he won’t be the problem.

Post # 5
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Well, I have some experience with this but from you SO’s perspective.  My husband has a group of friends like this and they were very cold to me for a very long time.   Eventually things got better with them.  But here’s what you really need to know.  They are going to react to you.  If you love and respect your SO, they will see that.  Likewise, there are very nice ways to encourage them to love and respect your SO too.  Ultimately, if they love you, and see that you love and respect your SO, they will follow your lead and treat him well in time. 

Post # 6
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee

@marie_antoinette:  

So…I am entering complicated territory with a group of friends who could potentially be very snobbish, clannish, too inquisitive, and blabbermouthy. And drunk on top of it.

Yikes. I don’t know if this is the answer you want, but if I were in your shoes I would look for new friends.

“Tough” and “clique” are completely opposite in meaning  to the word “friends.”

While these “friendships” might have worked for you at another point in your life, it seems to me you’re at a crossroads.

I hope I’m not coming across as flip. I really do seriously mean that life is too short to waste time with people who behave in ways you’ve described. Right around the time I met Darling Husband, I cut myself loose from a couple of longtime female friendships that had become toxic. It was painful at the time to separate myself from them, but since I started focusing my energy towards more positive people — such as DH! — my life is immeasurably better now.

 

 

Post # 7
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Maybe spare him?

Post # 8
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m thinking this is a no go.

Let them meet him on ai lunch or dinner.  Or let him come the last two days.  

These people don’t sound like the kind of people I would want in my life, but I certainly wouldn’t put my man through that on his first go round.

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