Post # 1
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
My husband and I got a new kitten this weekend. She’s a playful little lovebug, just 12 weeks old. We already had another cat, also female, three years old, super sweet and outgoing. She hasn’t been thrilled with the new addition, and I know that this can be a slow transition, but am looking for some advice from others who have gone through this.
We are keeping the kitten in her own room. We are scent-swapping and exchanging bedding and toys. At first, resident cat hissed/growled at everything that smelled like the kitten, now she gives things a good sniff but without making noise. We’ve also let resident cat into the kitten room, without the kitten, and let her explore the kitten’s space. No hissing there either.
Then we put up a baby gate outside of the kitten’s room, and let the resident cat see her when she passed down the hall. At first, the hissing and growling was fairly persistent. But after several sessions of this, resident cat will sit quietly and watch the kitten, and even looks ready to play herself—until the kitten makes eye contact. Then the growling begins again. At one point, the kitten even nabbed the resident cat’s tail through the baby gate, and resident cat just skittered away. Not a hiss or swat. We’re pretty sure resident cat is just scared.
I’ve read conflicting things on the internet and I’m not sure if we keep them separated until the growling is no more, or if we should let them get face-to-face without a barrier (though heavily supervised). I’m concerned that the hissing and growling might never stop until resident cat gets to sniff that kitten up close and establish her dominance. And that we might possibly be making things worse by letting the resident cat see the kitten at a distance, but without the benefit of letting them go through their song and dance of getting-to-know-you.
I know that it hasn’t been that long, but I just want to make sure we’re making progress and not making things worse. Any advice is welcome. Thank you!
Post # 2
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
Hi! I have three happy cats. I’m glad to see you’re doing what you’re doing. Since the meeting will be heavily supervised, there is no harm in formally introducing them for a small amount of time. If it doesn’t work out (ex: the resident cat becomes aggressive), then the kitten is simply put away and you repeat all of the earlier processes and work up to a face-to-face meeting again. Even if you do a face-to-face though and it goes relatively well, I would still put the kitten away at night or if you’re going to work/running an errand/etc. I did that for a while even after the meetings just to make sure that my resident cat(s) didn’t get any ideas when I wasn’t watching them.
My male cat growled and hissed until he met my second cat in person. Then he wasn’t at all threatened by her once he got up close. My third cat was a bit more challenging because my second cat didn’t care for him too much, but I just left him in his own room for longer until she finally accepted him. They’re all currently laying next to me on the couch. 
Post # 3
Member
4927 posts
Honey bee
mrswhiskers : I think you are just going to have to put them together under supervision for their first actual meeting. They have to establish their pecking order and its probably better to do it earlier than later. Your older cat will see her as less of a threat the smaller the kitten is.
We have a male cat that was about 10 years old when we introduced a female kitten into our home. He got hissy when she excitedly came up to play with him for the first time. She just backed off immediately after she heard his cues. They are firm friends 4 years on but when she comes up and purposely annoys him, he will swipe at her hard and fling her about a meter away. He never hurts her but gives a nice warning when she oversteps. He could have killed her or injured her at anytime but he never has.
Hope all works out for your new family 😊
Edited….because I want some Kitty pictures!!
Post # 4
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
cmsgirl lbirdag Thank you both for your advice!
We were leaning in the direction of having a proper face-to-face and bit the bullet. Resident cat got a good sniff in and did some hissing, but let the kitten explore. We ended things after the kitten got into a bookshelf and the resident cat seemed to like the upper hand of having her pinned there. Put kitten away and gave both cuddles.
We’ll keep working towards getting more comfortable, but resident cat was sprawled and just watching the kitten explore at one point, so we’re taking that as a good sign.
As requested, pictures! 🙂 Separate, of course—but hopefully one day we’ll get ’em side by side.
Post # 5
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
That’s a very encouraging sign! Pretty kitties! I have two solid black male cats and a chocolate torti (so basically black with orange and gold splotches).
Post # 6
Member
8778 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
mrswhiskers : Firstly, both are adorable. Secondly, it sounds like you are doing a top job of trying to get new kitten settled in with existing cat. These things take time.
Post # 7
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
Ohhhh they are both so cute! I think they’ll do just fine from the sounds of the first meeting! Next thing you know, they’ll be playfully wrestling and basking in sunny spots together. 🙂
Also knowing that your first cat has an out-going and friendly personality increases the likelyhood of both kitties getting along just fine, if not becoming best buddies.
Post # 8
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: April 2021 - Dracut, Massachusetts
mrswhiskers : OMG!! beautiful cats! I love them! Well, I love all cats. I’m a crazy cat lady! Anyway, I think what you are doing is great with how you are introducing them. It is actually what our vet suggested when we got our second cat. They got into a few fights, but now he could really care less about her. She does have a tendency to go up to him and swat and/or hiss at him if he gets too close to her. I feel bad. He just wants to love her! They are about 3 years in age difference.
Post # 9
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
Thanks again for your advice!
As a quick update, our kitten and cat have been getting on quite a bit better. After a few face-to-faces, today they even played, pouncing and running in and out of boxes around the house. A bit of hissing at the beginning, one growl when the kitten tried to grab the cat’s tail when the cat was eating, but definitely a positive interaction.
Play is still supervised, but things are looking good. Hopefully they’ll be snuggle buddies yet!
Post # 10
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
mrswhiskers : aww omg they are beautiful! I say keep doing what you’re doing and let them have more face to face visits. They will slowly get accustomed to each other.
Post # 11
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
Your furbabies are absolutely gorgeous!
We’ve only got 1 kitty, but had to go through a similar process when we got our dog a few years ago. Our cat was about 5.5-6yo at the time, and our dog was about 2 years old.
It took a lot of hissing/growling/barking and quite a few months and repeated supervised meetings before our kitty and our dog were able to walk around each other normally but I am extremely happy we persevered as they get along fantastically now, even napping together! Occasionally, our dog will get a little too playful but one warning swipe from our kitty and everything settles.
Keep us posted with your progress!
Post # 12
Member
4927 posts
Honey bee
mrswhiskers : thanks for the pictures. Your cat’s are adorable!!!
Glad to hear all is going positively at this point! Can’t wait for a snap of them together having a cuddle and sleep together!🐈🐱🐱🐈
Post # 13
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
Just wanted to update. Four weeks (to the day) of bringing home the new kitten and this happened:
There’s still some occasional growling (the kitten likes expressing her affection with love bites—which she’s rapidly learning is NOT appropriate), but there’s a lot more playing and, slowly but surely, snuggling.
Thanks all for your advice! Four weeks ago I was worried we had made a terrible decision. Now I’m pretty sure it was one of the best things we could have done.
Post # 14
Member
2662 posts
Sugar bee
mrswhiskers : Oh wow, they are super adorable together! Well done on such a marvellous job getting them together!
Post # 15
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
This is exactly what I fantasize about when I ponder whether we should get a sibling for our cat! So cute 😻